Everything Day Logs
Yesterday | Tomorrow

Everything Snapshot

Time: Fri, 21 Jul 2000 00:03:39 GMT
Everything server: Apache/1.3.9 (Unix) Debian/GNU mod_perl/1.21_03-dev
Number of nodes: 618392 (1291 new since July 20, 2000)
Number of users: 17029 (43 new since July 20, 2000)
Number of links: 2501675 (21015 new since July 20, 2000)

Node to user ratio: 36.314 nodes per user
Link to node ratio: 4.045 links per node
Link to user ratio: 146.907 links per user

New Nodes: [Jeno's Crisp n' Tasty Pizza] [July 20, 2000] [googley eyes] [Stealing office supplies: a guide] [goodbye] [Switch] [Y(R-Y)(B-Y)] [A Message from the President of the United States] [I couldn't see them through all the corn...] [glowing beef bones] [Confusion The Waitress] [sludge.org] [False Meaning] [Response to The Liberal Agenda] [load balancing]

Users Online (47): [dbrown] [sensei] [tregoweth] [Deborah909] [Lometa] [N-Wing] [jessicapierce] [moJoe] [ModernAngel] [juliet] [Dis] [thefez] [ophie] [emil greer] [MasterYoshi] [dragoon] [birdonmyshoulder*] [coby] [whizkid] [Halcyon&on] [Electric Mollusk] [Ereneta] [robwicks] [Zari] [dr] [Psk] [ekim yar] [Kung] [Eos] [urbanmisfit] [r4v5] [no comply] [alvin] [Adam Walker] [tribbel] [Duane Dibbley] [spaceman_spiff] [Muke] [StopTheViolins] [mcc] [St3o] [amiawakeyet] [Wuukiee] [WickerNipple] [mailspd] [TheNastyCanasty] [virt]

JeffMagnus node count: 3867 (4 new since July 20, 2000)
JeffMagnus experience: 7977 (111 more since July 20, 2000)
JeffMagnus experience to node ratio: 2.063 XP per node
JeffMagnus nodeshare: 0.626%
JeffMagnus node of the day: Vitamin C

I awoke this morning at 8AM with a hang over and a bad case of leathermouth. Stumbling from bed in a haze with my eyes gummed shut I proceeded to scare the everliving shit out of my girlfriend. She was groggily crawling around on the floor naked looking for her bra at the time and was not expecting me to have awakened at such an ungodly hour. I then proceeded gracefully to the kitchen where stepped on my cat causing a screeching sound which very nearly caused my feeble heart to seize. A gallon and a half of tap water later I was back in bed and working on a second case of leathermouth.
I guess the moral of my story is this: never drink so much that you end up driving to Vegas and sleeping with a Cuban hooker after snorting tar heroin and doing knife hits off the space heater with her boyfriend Carlos until five O'clock in the morning.

Oh, and if you do, make sure to drink a lot of water and take a vitamin supplement before hand or you are going to feel like you have been hit by a car in the morning.
Not that I would know.
Went through some old nodes updates and requested Title Edits. The E2 Copyright Violations concerns have motivated me to sift through my old nodes. It's been too much fun here and I wouldn't want the guys to get in trouble here.
(Now if I can only get moJoe to quit whispering naughty boy fantasies to me in the /msg box!)

Requested to delete:
Noises That Defy Laws of Physics
*shamefully confesses*
More to come as I can recall and find them.

They were boring

Motivation- intrinsic/extrinsic
Chesapeake - By James A. Michener
oi *slaps her wrist* Dreaded namespacing!!
Consolidated for your reading pleasure!

What is your favorite album?
because it's a getting to know you node
....and the only one with a negative vote on the whole page ya bunch of ageists!!

Still darn hot here. Number One Son had a dentist appointment and had to walk down to Number One Son's place of employment. It was 107ºF when I left at 2:00 pm. Made it in time to the orthodontist, but the car overheated when I got home. It's still dying on the road, guess it wasn't the fuel pump after all. The weatherman says a slight chance of rain tomorrow. I hope so. This morning woke up with heat sickness again, I don't want to quit my walks, but skipped gym to rest my body.

I cling to you, and your hand keeps me safe.
-Psalm 63:8 (TEV)


Today very low productivity, both node-wise and at work. Mostly vacant reading. In the morning, I met the firstborn (and newborn) son of my pseudo-brother in law.
As it happens when you meet with someone that is 3 days old, and the product of a Caesarean, it was about as interesting as meeting a pink stone. I like children, but only when they enter Cub Scout age. Before that I can't communicate.

The drill demons are still at work in the building. We are told that it is for the greater good. I think that it is just a way to drive us insane.

Jobwise, tomorrow there is a terribly important meeting with the Big Kahuna and the Gold Troll. We will have to convince them both that Project Goosefood requires either to be killed and buried or heavily financed.
The current half-assery will get nowhere.

Outside that, long deep discussions with my SO. The emigré condition is beginning to bug me seriously. Homesickness, sentimental desires for stupid Italian music. I will probably get all of two weeks vacation in Italy in September.

I am still wavering between the relationship crash state of mind, and a sort of blissful indifference (not very healthy).

And of course, they fire all of us in December, and we already know that. And since we are independent *chuckle snort laugh* contractors ... no bonus, no severance.
Actually we get two things: jack and shit.

Besides that, it is very late, it is night outside, I am tired, I am hungry and I feel vaguely dissatisfied, although it is difficult to say exactly at what.

The Geek Note: today I read about new Palm Pilot models. I was afraid that the new models would make me feel bad about my Palm Vx, currently the sweetest model. It turns out that they are not so hot after all ... an entry level one and an expanded Palm VII, not so interesting.
Nothing sucks like buying the top-of-the-line and then having it obsoleted after one month of use.

Tonight I seal it up and lock it away. For once I thought I had things figured out, I didn't think it was possible in life to figure things out, and now I know that my first instinct was on the money. Life isn't something to be figured out, it goes on and happens. If you try and understand it, try to deal with it all that happens is you get hurt. It's like trying to guess the number someone is thinking between one and infinity. It's not impossible but it is improbable.

It's not sunny ever day, and there are bumps on every road. There's always something that can set you back, that's the way life is. - MMB

But if you learn from it and move on you can be happy. I find it easier to put my thoughts to words with a song going in the background to help me. The song that helped me here is a mighty mighty bosstones song called Bad News And Bad Breaks.

My father, mother all the older wiser people in my life have told me these things before. I wouldn't believe it, I figured I could be different. I pride myself on being different whenever I feel I want to be. I thought I wanted to fit in, fill in the empty space inside. Have someone to help me do this, I don't want to be empty... nobody does. Life screws people over and if they want to use that as an excuse to go on living a shity life then thats there choice. I cannot condone this, if someone goes through hardship and learns from it and is better for it then they deserve life. Those who not only don't learn but spread their bullshit to others do not deserve to live, these people I despise and one such being shall one day have the wrath of good tear into him and destroy all that he was and ever will be, eliminating him not only from the present and future but from all of existence as is known or ever will be known. Once this has been done the anger in my soul will subside. Until such time I shall put my everything into destroying this evil wherever it shows its ugly face.

So much has been lifted from my soul, some of it I wish I could keep. It cannot be, trivial material and physical things linger.... I don't know what I want but I beleive that deep down in my sould during my journey through life I shall find what I seek.
12:33 EET

Like Eric Cartman would say, this sucks donkey balls.
An admin made some network-related changes to my workstation yesterday. As a result, all my personal preferences - including cookies, keymaps, explorer configuration, you name it - are completely screwed up, and I can't even modify most of them. None of the employees present can pinpoint the exact source of the problem, let alone a solution.
Most of the linux fanatics reading this would argue that you can't even customize Windows that much. Yes, not as much as your fancy window managers, but the default settings are damn terrible! The administrator in question should get his ass over to the office ASAP before I go postal.

Thankfully it's Friday, and the workday will be cut short by a nice game of minigolf again. Anything to get me away from this malfunctioning piece of Microsoft Bashers' prime material.

18:45 EET

The most unbelieveably good-looking girl, maybe a year or two younger than me, was standing on the line next to mine at Carrols. Someone else might not have found her that special, but I was blown away. Not only was she beautiful, but seemed totally natural too. While certainly utilizing her beauty, the girl didn't appear snobbish at all. If her personality is equally good, she can't be far from perfection.
This incident left me feeling a bit depressed. Why? Because a fat, ugly geek like myself has a snowball's chance in hell when it comes to women, especially ones this beautiful. And I can't really complain about the society being too superficial, since I noticed good looks first as well. Sigh.

Other than that, the day has turned for the better. The admin friend of mine spent a good while on the problem I was whining about earlier, but the only solution we came up with was to create a new account. (and if this guy can't fix it otherwise, it's really screwed up :)) Sheesh, I can't wait for the first Win2k service pack. Thankfully it should be arriving next monday.

Although sleeping for only ~6 hours, I feel surprisingly energetic. So I'd better stop noding and clean up the place, since I was feeling too lazy for it yesterday.

8:56 Eastern Daylight Savings Time

Finally finished noding all seventeen chapters (plus prologue and epilogue) of RimRod's Fencing Autobiography, and I think I got most of the major typos outta there too. Go read it. NOW!

I want to go see Loser tonight, despide the mediocre reviews from my local newspaper. I rarely agree with their reviews anyway. Besides, Mena Suvari is damn hot. Period.

I think I might have to skip the new Harrison Ford and Michelle Pheiffer vehicle, What Lies Beneath. When they can't even make the coming attraction for the movie interesting, you know it's crap.

The crack on the face of my watch is getting bigger. I might have to take it in for repair soon.

One week left at ye olde summer job after today.

I am currently in the middle of a four hour teleconference, aka noding time.

Opie and Anthony still rule.

I'm pissed off Noding Time got no recogniztion. Grrrrrrr.

<< week | July 20, 2000 | July 21, 2000 | July 22, 2000 | week >>

Everything's Best Users Snapshot

   #   Users                   XP   wa7   inc Level   l_XP l_wa7
   1   EDB                  20017     1     0     1  20017     1
   2   Pseudo_Intellectual  19763   145   172    11  19591   141
   3   DMan                 17992   124   108     9  17884   127
   4   dem bones            15850    91    43    11  15807    99
   5 * Saige                12912   120   144    10  12768   116
   6 - Segnbora-t           12878   102   109    10  12769   101
   7   sensei               10354   122   131     7  10223   121
   8   dannye               10203   114   117     9  10086   114
   9 * tregoweth             9541    79    46    10   9495    85
  10 - pukesick              9533    10     1    10   9532    12
  11   Deborah909            8781    37    31    10   8750    38
  12   ideath                8690    82     5     8   8685    95
  13   Lometa                8408    79   106     9   8302    75
  14   N-Wing                8162    26     5     9   8157    30
  15 * JeffMagnus            8090    93   203    10   7887    75
  16   Tem42                 8037    80    85     8   7952    79
  17   knifegirl             8003    52   102     9   7901    44
  18 - yossarian             7995    52    13     9   7982    58
  19   Jet-Poop              7895    22    11     9   7884    24
  20   /dev/joe              7812    49     0     8   7812    57
  21   jessicapierce         7514   -13   -96    10   7610     1
  22 * moJoe                 7325    62    65     9   7260    61
  23 - bozon                 7299    89    17     9   7282   101
  24   pingouin              7231    23    16     9   7215    24
  25   ModernAngel           7137    38    11     9   7126    43
  26   General Wesc          7047    43    28     9   7019    46
  27   hoopy_frood           6811    43    24     8   6787    46
  28 * Sylvar                6553    80   116     7   6437    74
  29 - juliet                6539    96    93     9   6446    97
  30   novalis               6151    22     2     9   6149    25
  31   hamster bong          6042    82    47     6   5995    88
  32   Templeton             5965    71    66     6   5899    72
  33   Uberfetus             5618    30    10     6   5608    33
  34   alex.tan              5578    34    61     7   5517    29
  35   sabre23t              5518    52    13     7   5505    59
  36   bitter_engineer       5239    33     5     8   5234    38
  37   wharfinger            5191    68    78     6   5113    66
  38 * nine9                 5074    14    32     9   5042    11
  39 - RockLobster           5055     6     2     9   5053     7
  40   yam                   5011    10    20     7   4991     8
  41   kessenich             4783    26    11     9   4772    29
  42   ariels                4705    20     4     8   4701    23
  43   Orange Julius         4559    65    70     7   4489    64
  44 * CaptainSpam           4516    49   126     9   4390    36
  45 - Sarcasmo              4440     5    13     8   4427     4
  46 * Dis                   4428    64    54     6   4374    66
  47 - Lord Brawl            4404    40    15     8   4389    44
  48   knarph                4343    10     1     9   4342    12
  49 * mat catastrophe       4229    80    83     7   4146    80
  50 - themusic              4221    29    21     8   4200    30
  51 - hatless               4196    38    36     8   4160    38
   *   EBU #51               4196    48    50     *   4146    48

Server time: 14:23 Fri Jul 21 2000 UTC, corrected since June 29, 2000

* = users rising up in the EBU; - = users falling down in the EBU
l_ = last (previous) value; inc = increase in stats value
wa7 = ((stats + (6 * l_wa7))/7) = weighted average with denominator 7

sabre23t: Random Nodes

sabre23t: Nodes to node

At work at the moment. It's like a ghost town. The ax came down on Tuesday, about 1/3 of the staff was let go. Not me, though. I'm one of the lucky ones. I guess. Dunno. It kind of feels like we who are left are rats stuck on a sinking ship. I've only been here about six months, and I'm not even a real employee, so I guess it isn't all that important. But it's depressing to see the work that all of these people put in go down in flames. Well, perhaps that's too pessimistic. There still is hope, if you believe upper management. Brushed up my resume last night and checked out the listings on dice so I'm not worried about the whole finding work aspect of the exercise. Oh well, another object lesson on why perl rocks (it's running the website right now) and Broadvision sucks (it was supposed to run the website a year ago, but only quadrupled the cash burn rate.)

Going to go see my sister this weekend. She promised barbeque, so yay!

I haven't talk to Laura-from-work today, but she smiled at me, and I liked that.

Played with the perl chatterbox client last night. Didn't do much other than find small bug in the xml output. My heart's not in it. Maybe if I used perl/tk rather than curses I'd work up more interest.

At the company picnic at lunch, there was a lot of food. I took a sausage and crawled back to my cube where I ate half of it and listened to mp3's. I'm still a little hungry.

Yesterday | Dizzy->Day_Logs() | Tomorrow

18:10 BST

There's a dilbert comic where the PHB says something like "Welcome... TO THE FOUR HOUR MEETING FROM HELL! HAHAHAHAH!"

I've just spent 6 and a half hours in a hot and stuffy hotel room hearing other people talk about our project and business direction. I didn't even need to be in the room! All the discussions were about technical and engineering issues that I really did not need to know about. Reading the minutes would have been fine, but no, we all had to be there. I had to listen half a dozen times to how our company is cutting off it's nose to spite it's face. Inter departmental politics killing off great ideas, bad management decisions losing the company tens of millions of pounds and project plans that have no basis in reality. All the dilbert-isms were there, so many that it ceased to be funny.

As most of the discussions were either over my head or not relevant to me, I could sit back and observe how different people took their stances:

  • The Bored New Guy. Has just realised that this isn't the perfect job.
  • The Project Leader who is so far up the arse of his General Manager that all his decisions are based on what this general manager would think.
  • The Frustrated Product Marketing Guy, who thinks that we should be everything to everyone. After all, it's only software, how hard can it be?
  • The Enthusiastic Junior (me). Wants to contribute but is fast realising that whatever idea he has will be dismissed because there is another department with that responsibility.
  • The Genius Unix Guru who cannot make a presentation.
  • The Contractor who knows it all.
  • The Senior Manager who has already made his decisions and just wants everyone to reinforce them in his mind.
  • The Director who knows nothing about the project, but really likes the food at this hotel.

Well, at least I got a free lunch out of it.

1 Anonymous phonecall today. Welcome back! I've missed you. What? Not saying anything... Ah well.

Well, the exercise régime; is progressing. I walked to the station yesterday and today, from the station today. Yesterday was a little difficult due to various bomb scares. (Hang on, am I getting my days confused?) Anyway, it's not too bad a walk (about twenty minutes in the heat, fifteen when it's cooler) but there's no real way to avoid busy roads and polution.

We've also decided to drink only at weekends (being Friday and Saturday nights). More calorie reduction.

Unfortunately, the bench I assembled before noding yesterday was dismantled after finding a better alternative. And the dumbells and other equipment haven't arrived, which is a shame.

Yesterday | Tomorrow
We're taking weekends off - come back Monday :-)

I think about the fact that I started these day logs, was the only one to do them for a while to keep people at least noticing them, and now that they've become wildly popular I haven't done one in a while.... I really should try and change that. I might find it interesting some day.

It's one of those fun days just because of wearing a few new items together. I don't know why it's like that, but it makes me feel a bit new as a person also, and I like it. I've got my nice new shirt from ThinkGeek on (the binary "you are dumb" one), but nobody has asked me about it yet. And everyone around here works with computers, cause we're a software development place. Odd. And I'm realizing why Birkenstocks are such a big deal. They are just so comfortable, and the pair I have I think is probably one size bigger than what would be best. I wonder how long until I get another pair.

I broke the level 11 barrier today. I don't know how long I've been on level 10, with the amount of experience needed it seemed to take forever. I was fine with writeups long before experience. But after reaching it, thanks to a cool from ariels, I saw a nice statement telling me "9994 experience until level 12"... that's a hell of a lot. Just slightly less than what I have now. This could take a while, but I don't care. It's amusing but not too important.

I have a hair appointement tonight. I am going to get it colored, in a salon this time instead of out of a box. I think some highlights will add a nice touch to it also. I have yet to decide on the color. Maybe something with more violet, or perhaps the other way and more red. Regardless, I want to get rid of that dull brown poking through from not coloring it in way too long.

Update: Went with a rather light red, more of a copper color. Quite a bit lighter. And I love it. Even had to get my eyebrows colored to match the hair, it was that much lighter. Makes it a little wierd looking into a mirror, as the person I see looking back at me doesn't necessarily seem like the same one. But I'm happy. Going to get some highlights added next week.

Silence is deafening
Bleak, like winter
Need to escape
Need to live
Need to feel wanted, useful
Listen to me
Hear me
It was about five o'clock am when my sister walked in on me. I said hello. She screamed. It seems that while I was in far away Europe, she had been sleeping in my room. In her sleep-induced stupor she couldn't remember I was home. Before crawling away back to her own room, she lay on the floor and recovered from her trauma. The only reason I was awake at such an hour was that I'm still running on England time: there it was 10am.

But now I'm back and still running under jetlag. Saw X-Men. It was alright, but in the end flawed.

Why the hell am I writing this? No one really cares what I did today.

Thanks to Segnbora-t for the postcard. One's on the way back.

I actually had work to do today. However, I still have work, and yet I am sitting here writing a day log and not caring about what is not yet finished. Apathy anyone?

I am glad that it is Friday. It isn’t payday, but its time for the weekend, which is going to be busy in its own way. The only plans I have so far is going to see the EAP counselor again on Saturday, and the personal trainer on Sunday. Right now I’m not very psyched about either of those, but I think its because I’m tired.

I don’t know what I’m going to do tonight. I’m supposed to go over to Alex’s house for dinner, and I don’t know what we will do other than that. Its weird being older. When I went to OSU, there were always parties or drinking to be done. Now, I usually just stay in and chill out, or go to bed early. I don’t think I’m boring, but I do think I need a little more excitement that doesn’t involve club hopping. I’m past the need to party every weekend.

My domain is working! www.mindfork.com is up and running, but without much there. It is still being updated to the DNS servers around the world, so it isn’t visible to everyone yet. I will probably work on it this weekend.

I painted my nails last night. They are already chipped since I used cheap-o polish. They are silvery blue and people at work were surprised. I guess I don’t come across as the nail polish sort of girl.

I broke 1000 xp today. That is pretty amazing.

30 minutes until I can leave. Lets see what kind of damage I can do until then. :)

Nodes That I Wrote Today That Are Generally Painless:
all the cute guys will be there

CD’s I’ve Listened To Today:
Nine Inch NailsBroken
Mesh – In This Place Forever
Will – Pearl of Great Price
Erasure – Pop! 20 Hits

In youth and beauty, wisdom is rare.

Today I went to the MacWorld convention in New York City's Jacob Javits Convention Center, which ended today.

One of the main attractions of the convention was in Apple Computer's Apple/MOSR/"Cube" Mac (which I called "Mac-in-a-Cube"). A whole lot of them was on display as well as the new iMacs.

I've made a grab bag of brochures (and one Symantec t-shirt), pens, and whatnot for one of my co-workers in the Library Cafe in Brooklyn College. He's a Mac user, and he wanted souvenirs, so why not?

I've also gone to the "River Diner" across the convention center. I loved it because it was also an old-school diner since 1945. Although the cook didn't make my hamburger medium rare, I didn't mind. The French Fries made my day because they were long, thick, and soft unlike the thin and crunchy variety.

I took a few copies of a set of posters for the new iMacs and the cube-shaped Power Mac G4, but I dropped off one set to the musical director for Chicago: the Musical.

The Hostess lemon pie I left out on my desk overnight was miraculously spared, it becomes a delicious part of this nutritious breakfast (picture: two-pack of White Castle burgers, buttered bagel, cup of coffee and multivitamin pill). Lunch with "Kelster". I nap for an hour on arrival home, then shower and dress for my great-aunt's wake. I never heard of the Order of the Eastern Star before, but apparently Aunt Fran was a member. It's pretty odd to watch this pack of stale crackers with their inverted pentacle medallions reciting a five-point litany over my mild-mannered great-aunt's casket.

There was something I realized today on the drive home from work, something I wanted to write here in this day log, actually. But I've forgotten what it was.

I find it amusing, and pretty cool, really, that I spend so much time on here all of a sudden. That I read people's write ups and I write my own, sharing our lives and our thoughts and our days with each other. That we're anonymously sharing our lives with each other and it's strangely comforting. I used to be so self conscious of my thoughts, disliking the idea of displaying them to all the world to see. Now I just don't give a damn. If people don't like me, they don't like me. At least I can give them the chance to know me.

Damn, I was getting a hold of the realization I came to today, but I momentarily became distracted by the sound of dishes being put away downstairs that it has escaped me.

Since I've been back in town things have been different. I have been different. Happier, more easy going, I think. Random people on the street never used to say hello to me but now dozens of them say hello and talk to me out of nowhere as I walk down the street, go up the elevator, whatever. It amazes me everytime. It's not that the people have changed, it's that I have changed. Perhaps my whole aura has changed, that I'm no longer enclosed within myself, ignoring all around me and wishing to be left alone. I smile sometimes when I walk by myself, I don't care. I smile at people and I feel happy with the world. I'm okay when everything is not okay. I'm happy that I'm so sad, that I'm so miserable. That I'm so anything. It makes me smile that life is so damn livable. I don't know how else to put it. It's good to be alive.

I can walk alone.
Oh sweet lord, why didst thou let me into the alcohol again? I'm officially giving up alcohol today. It no longer enthuses me at all.. I just feel sick after I drink it. Lead me to the kool aid and juice, this alcoholic stuff is terrible. My mother mixed some drinks for me with milk in them (note that I'm still pretty drunkish at present but at least I'm coherent). Being that I've developed a lactose intolerance quite nicely, the milk combined with ridiculously strong alochol left me feeling pretty sick. (Especially considering I hadn't eaten very much today.) So, I shall consider this my swearing off of alcohol, permanently. I've always thought it was intensely stupid anyway, so might as well start listening to myself..

My birthday party for tomorrow is off, because no one could make it and I don't feel like rescheduling it. I'll just sit around on IRC, and the like, as per usual.. it might be good, good enough, anyway.

I need to stay awake, considering I don't want to go to sleep in a drunk type state. Sorry for talking about the drinking so much, it's stupid. I know. Stupid, stupid. heh

I'm listening to "Farside" at present.. my friend introduced me to them just today.. neat stuff. I edited the swear'y words out of here, I think they weren't liked much.

Ahh.. it's actually about an hour later that I'm continuing this, and though I'm very tired, the alcohol'y feeling is mostly gone. Praise jeebus.

I'll add to this later.. got some stuff to say but don't feel like babbling anymore at present.
Another day of being nearly the last Daylog. Hey, it's fun writing about my day around 2AM EDT.

Work? Boring. And it eats straight through my day. Not cool.

A friend I know over the internet and I have been planning to maybe meet each other in Cedar Point in a couple weeks or so. Would be quite interesting if we can pull it off. Too bad planning something like that in Cedar Point is not the easiest thing to do.

I picked up a download of NetHack. 2AM is NOT the best of times to try to learn how to play that game.

11:16 BST

Got lots done today. But I've got to go to bed to get up at 5:30 am tomorrow, so I'm going to node this tomorrow.

15:53 BST tomorrow

It's tomorrow. Well, about yesterday. What did I do? Well, 'twas a productive morning. I woke to the sounds of the doorbell (which my mother got); the postie was bringing my Visa for my India trip. Anyway, my mum persuaded me to get up, and face the day, even though I'd only had 6-7 hours sleep, as has been usual for the past week or so. So I got up, and proceeded to forget when my driving lesson was. What time today was it? I finally decided on 12:00 or 13:00, and so to be in then.

This meant I had to get stuff done, and back in the house before noon. Since my bicycle's chain has come off and become stuck twice in the past week, and anyway the bike hadn't been serviced for a year, I needed to get somebody to take a look at it. So my mother and I went to Perth, to go to the Halfords there and get somebody to look at the bike. Turns out there was nothing wrong with the chain - only a little half twist with a tiny screwdriver could have a hope of solving the problem. Anyway, it wasn't a wasted visit as I bought a light for the bike, the previous one having broken when I hit a bump (you'd be surprised how far the bits went).

Anyway, we got back to Auchterarder by noon, and it turns out my lesson was at one. Oh well. I did lots of maneuvers in the lesson, and my neck hurt like hell.

I'm sure I did something else interesting, but I can't remember. However, I do remember that I went to bed early so I could get up at 05:30. Of course, not having gone to bed at that time for ages, I couldn't get to sleep, and tossed and turned for ages.

Okay, I wanted to node this day when it happened, but I've been busy.

I got up in the morning, 6:30 and threw on my work clothes and a hat. Grabbed some breakfast. Mom asked me to go out and check the filter in the pool. I did, the dog running around like a madman, thinking I've come to play with him. Nearly knocked me in the pool. Stupid dog. When I check the filter basket, I find that it has been clogged with leaves, and no water is flowing. The suction is too powerful for me to pull it out, so I reach down in and scrape the rotting leaves away from the sides of the basket. It takes a minute, but finally I can get the basket out, and I dump it over the fence into the yard. As I put it back, I notice the dog is going nuts over something in the pool. I look closer.

It's a baby bird that has fallen into the pool. The poor thing is floating, but has no control over anything. It's mouth opens and closes, but no sound comes out. I find the net for scooping out leaves, and gently scoop the bird out. He continues to silently open and close his mouth. It is such a regular action, I think one could keep time by it, those silent cries ticking off the minutes until doomsday. Really there is nothing I can do for this bird. I don't know how to take care of it, nor am I equipped to do so. I set it down gently over the fence where the dog can't get to it at least. I hope that maybe it will dry out and be able to cry for its parents. It's beak still moves as it lies there, flapping one wing. Open, close, open, close. I wish there was something I could do.

Work is the same as always. A long, hot day of manual labor. It feels good though. Moving my body, the sun against my arms, sweat rolling across them. I think about the bird, and wish I had put it in a shadier place. We finish early today, around one. I get home and there is an email from her. She's been at the beach for a week, with her boyfriend and his family. I'm glad she is back. I call and ask if she wants to do something tonight. We decide to see X-men. I try to maintain a handle on my joy.

A little while later, I remember about the bird. I walk out into the yard to see if it is still there. It is, but it's mouth is still now. It has died. Time has stopped moving, doomsday is here. Ants and other insects crawl through the filaments of its feathers. This is how life moves: tumbling along from one thing to the next.

Mom comes home, we eat, and she goes to the barn to take care of her horse. While she is gone, my grandparents arrive from Pennslyvania. They are staying for the weekend. I talk with them a while, until it is time to leave for the movie.

I stop at her house to pick her up. We take my car to the movie, because she likes it. She tells me a funny story about a popsicle that she ate, which is having some wierd effect on her lips. Her beautiful lips.

The movie is good. Afterwards, we drive to the waffle house. A dangerous place, but fun. While we are there, one of the waitresses nearly starts a fight in the parking lot. She is screaming at a man and a woman. Probably her ex and his new girl. She looks like she is ready to kill them both. The other waitress prepares to call the cops, but things end in a semi-peaceful manner, thanks to an intervetion by the cook. This is how life moves.

After waffle house, we sit on her porch and talk. We sit until four in the morning. I have to go to work at seven, but I don't care. She is beautiful under the dark summer sky, and I am continually amazed by how wonderful each new thing I learn about her is. She smokes cigarettes, and I nag her about it a little. I let her play with my pocket watch. Eventually I have to leave.

At home sleep comes quickly.

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