If the Lord exists then he is certainly shining down in my favor. Perhaps you may remember my last and only prior daylog (July 8, 2001) and the hatred which insued from it. Well, I have recently been blessed.

I spent a week at Baylor University in Waco, Texas for an All State Choir camp and met the most incredible female in existence.

*wavy pattern appears over screen, flashback sequence begins*

In cafeteria line...
    Random Girl
    : Oh, excuse me
    Me: No Problem... continues towards food...

*The next morning*

    /me eating breakfast...
    Random Girl approaches table: May I sit here?
    Me *dazed an confused* : uh... yeah, sure
    RG:What's your name?
    Me *still in early morning stupor*:umm... Tony... you?
    RG: Jessica...

I didn't know it at breakfast, but I was going to fall head over heals in love with this woman. For the next three days, not an hour of free time was spent apart. Finally, one of us has the bright idea of asking where the other is FROM....

*Cue Flashback...*

    Jess: So, where do you live?
    Me: Fort Worth, you?
    Jess: Willis
    Me: Where's that?
    Jess: Near Houston....
    Me *thinking*: DOH!

Now for those of you that don't know Texas geography, Willis is three hours from Fort Worth. This is not good. While I had absolutely no trouble with the fact that she was three hours away, she did....

*Last flashback, we promise....*

    /me is walking up to stage for rehearsal
    /Jess yanks me off stage to talk

    Jess: Listen, I haven't been trying to avoid you today, it's just that I'm trying not to get hurt.
    Me: *blank stare of confusedness*
    Jess I don't think I can handle a long distance relationship. I'm only 16, I don't need this kind of pain right now, I don't want to miss you constantly or not be able to talk to you whenever I want blah blah blah blah blah but I really do like you and I want to stay friends so I'd like to get your address and phone number so we can keep in touch.
    Me (no longer dazed): Ok, that's fine, I can respect your not wanting a long distance relationship, but I must say the following: You are beautiful, and talented, and intelligent - which is rare
    Jess *interupting*: OH, I'm glad you think our gender in stupid
    Me: No, I don't, I'm paying you a compliment, shut up. And I really like you and want to be with you. Lastly, if it will change your mind at all, I want you to know that 3 hours is by NO means too far for me to drive.
    Jess: *gives me big hug and smiles* I'm sorry...

So, for a good day or two I was mildly heartbroken, heck, I'd only known her 4 days. I immediately wrote her upon my arrival home telling her anything and everything I had forgotten while we were together. Then, as luck would have it, Monday night the phone rang.

*Ok, so we lied, one more...*

    Jess: Hello, may I speak with Tony?
    Me: This is he, what's up?
    Jess: Hi... it's Jessica, listen... Back at Baylor, on Saturday... I was stupid. After talking to my parents I... or at least they :).... realized that what I was really afraid of was that for once a guy I liked was as smart or smarter than me and I was afraid of being inferior.
    Me: Don't be.
    Jess: *smiles* (don't ask how I know she was smiling, I just do)
    Me: So... does this mean you're willing to give it a shot?
    Jess: Yeah, I think so.
    Me: So, if I were to some to Willis on August 2nd you wouldn't object and would like to see me?
    Jess: Yeah, pretty much
    /me does the happy dance....

You may be wondering, "What's so perfect about this girl that makes you want to chase her halfway across Texas?!?"
Well the answer is simple, aside from the things mentioned above - beauty, intelligence, talent, kindness etc - the girl is Baptist. This would normally turn me off, but she is the only baptist that told me "That's cool" when I said I was agnostic. The fact that she didn't care that.... I don't care :)... was beautiful. The only other thing that makes her more desirable to me than anyone else - she genuinely wants to be with ME.

So there we have it, if said god exists, He hurt me, then toyed with me, and then - when he had had his fun - gave me back my ego, my heart, and my happiness.

Countdown to Willis: 11 days, 13 hours, 20 minutes
So, GoodKingNerdnor, could we summarize the philisophical aspect of your attraction by saying "you care for her because she doesn't care that you don't care"? But seriously contgratulations on finding someone. Just watch out for the DPS on your road-trips.

I wonder when I'm going to get tired of eating fast food. Tired enough, that is, to start cooking and taking it to work. Fast food is not all that much more expensive for me, in terms of time-expenditure. I'm sure, though, that it is not healthy, and I've heard that the fast food industry is kinda on the shady side in some ways. (I could be wrong on that, and obviously I'm not super convinced, or I wouldn't still be eating it).

I had good dreams last night... I don't remember them well enough to write them down in dream logs, but I do know that I was irritated to get a page and have to fix something for work. This is a good thing, this dreaming thing, I think I'm finally getting good solid rest, and that the investment in my new bed is paying off.

As an update to my earlier CrushLink adventure, I checked the mailboxes of my dummy hotmail accounts. Well, most of them had expired because I added the auto-confirmation code only after I'd created most of them, but some had stuck because I confirmed the manually. The first one was full of spam. "Right, now we see their true skin", I thought, but then I realized this was the account I had signed up to the so-called "T-shirt news" 'service', and true enough, all of the spam was sent by "J a n e", same one who sent me the joining notice to this news service. Yes, CrushLink made me sign up in exchange for another hint which I find pretty unethical, but still, I'm impressed; apparently neither (CL or T-Shirt news) had [yet] sold those e-mails to spamlists. Then again, the dummy address I used as my potential "crush" (snigger) never confirmed its existence to the homesite, and as for spam to my real address, it's hard to distinguish it from all the other spam I get. I have to admit though, it's pretty impressive that I've gotten maybe 6 or 7 exact copies of the "Get your .sex domain name today!" "optional mailing-list" (I'd snigger but I'm too pissed off at such dishonesty).

In related news, maybe week or two ago I made a web search on a girl's name. I feel such a stalker now. It yielded one hit too, on a page about skolt sami national dresses. I still feel guilty about it.

Meanwhile, my usual daily schedule carries from day to day to day to... I'm still almost as addicted to alpha centaur as ever. Before the summer, I decided that if I can't have a life, I'll spend my summer doing something constructive. I signed up for mathematics matriculation examination on autumn though it has questions about areas we haven't studied yet, thinking I'd figure them out on my own in summertime. Haven't yet opened the book; maybe I should start soontimes? I have maybe a little over a month to study the three courses (4.5 months). Oh, and how about that swedish? The thing is, no matter how bored I am, studying always seems worse, even if it's studying something I like (such as maths). I wonder why is that. I've enjoyed reading Gödel, Escher, Bach: Eternal Golden Braid and The Blind Watchmaker, though both are so heavy on information they could serve as textbooks for mathematics and biology, respectively. Are 'real' textbooks really so boring or is it that they don't 'feel' fun because they are textbooks? Ah well. I'll have to get a grip some day...

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