I left here for maybe a decade, just peeking in from time to time. I had tricked myself into thinking it was because there was less activity, or I had lost interest, or whatever other easy lie. The truth is, some of my favorite people were gone. Some of my best friends at the time left and never came back. I never mourned enough. I just rewrote history and tried to move on.
I've been thinking a lot about ephemerality lately. It's terrible and I hate it. My partner believes we'll truly become immortal in this lifetime. She has to, I guess. I have to. All of this lying to myself has created huge fucking holes in my memory, like I didn't exist for at least a third of my life. So many things have been created and destroyed just in my time. I fixate more on internet communities and websites and fun little art things that came and went, because no matter how sad that makes me, it's easier than mourning people. Then, it's easier to believe people just moved on and maybe forgot about me,…