went really well on Sunday for most of the day; Sunday's are usually the perfect day
; at least until the cook or the other waitress I work with quits. It was fun; I caught some people
walking out without paying. I walked outside and took their license plate number, and waved at them when they drove away. Then we gave the video of them to the police. It was interesting to find out that Denny's
is quite the Fort Knox
of nasty, disgusting food. I returned to the restaurant to be hoisted up on the shoulders of Carson Daly
and another anonymous gay patron
, while the whole restaurant shouted at the top of their lungs, "FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW
!!" This continued for several hours, until the gay men holding me up collapsed...then I was awarded a large red parrot named "Jojo" and my picture appearing on a plaque reading "Mikey: Denny's Employee of the World
" Jojo is perched on my shoulder, unfortunately in mid-blink. Immediately, they flew in the CEO
of Denny's, don't remember his name, but he said "Mike, you rock; I quit
" and conceded the title of CEO to myself along with the 59 dollars he had in his wallet. My first order of business was to create plans for "Denny'sLand
," which will be much like DisneyLand
, but spelled wrong and all the fun will be in the form of skillets
. Instead of having large mascots of Mickey Mouse
waltzing around the park, there will mascots made in my own image, with head's 3 times the size of my body with cat ears and French moustaches
. Instead of waltzing, they will be forced to perpetually do a mix of the running man
and the cabbage patch
Yup that was Sunday. Later on, the cook
walked out and I was forced to make some of the food that was already ordered myself. This went over very well with my tables; they gave me a whopping
16 percent of the cost of their food.
A lot of that's not true.
Kevin, my roomate, is leaving in a month or so. May 12, I believe..."it's still up in the air though, dude." Whatever, he's wants to be 4 hours away from Dara and not pay rent, and not work at Staples. OK with me as long as he finds someone to replace himself with. I cannot pay 1200/month, and finding someone looking for a room is not hard in this town. This is a serious situation. Despite the fact that I don't consider him a good friend, ...as I don't consider anyone who has no respect for me a friend... ...it still sucks. He said, so what are you gonna do? "um, stay!"
I exercised. The absolute self-declaration that I am again a single man (day 3!), and suddenly feel the need to have attention from the opposite sex by way of biceps...
I was dumped and given the "I know it sounds like a cliche, but let's be friends" cliche from my ex girlfriend. I'm glad we broke up; then she said "you can be my new 'Nate'!" ( Nate is her best friend who, is much more giving than I am, and will do anything, anything she wants, that she's had a slight falling out with. ) That won't work, mainly due to the fact that I'm Mike. Not Nate.