I was sitting in front of my PC last night, doing a bit of chatting via ICQ when my flatmate went in and told me i should come over to his room and have a look.
I got up and followed him into his room. He took his PowerBook. I looked onto the screen, seeing an empty black window filling about 80 percent of the screen.
What's this? i asked.
"Just wait and see..." he answered.

Blue letters occure on the screen


So, it's an Sega emulator, what's the point?
"Don't be impatient..."

In A.D. 2101
The war was beginning

Is this? is this?

So, finally, i watched the most important video game intro in history.
Okay, so last nights node wasn't considered good enough, even for a day log, and even for April Fools Day, so I asked for it to be nuked.

Meanwhile, I can always ramble on about my work. Oops, I meant to say life, but that is an indicator of how much time I've been at work recently. Is it worth it? I have no idea.

I am learning a little bit, though. I am noticing when I work anything over 60 hours, the laundry doesn't get done, and neither does the grocery shopping. My bachelor pad doesn't seem too much worse for me not cleaning it, I guess that is because I'm not there much to dirty it.

I might end up having to spend a month or so in Atlanta. Maybe it will be warmer there. Here in Boston, it is still cold. Summer will never get here at this rate.



Another bright day. Hopefully, IT won't repeat itself next year. =/

Last night I got Jabber client (Gabber). It seems cool. Just that today it only seems to say "Disconnected. Reconnecting..." all the time. <AOL>now its broken and i cant confirm my user name. wwwwolf@jabber.com???</AOL>

I have some Ideas, but those need to be wait until later today - "Now, I'm reading Usenet."


From fuckedcompany.com front page:

fc iz Öwn3d b¥ tha idealab krÜ3
~~~~ becauz ur lame!!!!! olololoolol~
HACK THE PLASNNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

April 1st joke and the site hasn't been updated yet, but... ::weaksmile::


nighthowl:~$ uname -a
Linux nighthowl 2.4.3 #1 ma huhti  2 17:57:16 EEST 2001 i686 unknown

New today? IPTables instead of ipchains. Took a while to convert the ipchains script to use iptables... The final bug™ was that the target names had to be capitalized. =)

I might publish the script, but then again, it's not much different from most of the scripts found in the intttter nett...


Again, it's a wonder if this connection can move a Byte over the network. =( =(


Other day logs o' mine...

Noded today by y.t.: Make Make PointCast push


Yet again I've wrapped around the hard way. I woke up at (EDT) 17:00 4/1, and now it's 5:40 4/2 and I'm still awake ... and, presumably, I'm going to attempt to stay awake throughout the day and into the evening in an attempt to get my body back on a normal sleep schedule.

The last few days have been strange, to say the least -- everything from the horrific to the wonderful. I've learned to appreciate the clarity of circuit-switched telephone service; trying to have any manner of serious discussion over, say, Microsoft Netmeeting is an exercise in futility.

Also: Don't fall asleep wearing a headset unless you want to have dreams of strangulation.

this is my first writeup. i hope i've gotten the general idea and rules of this strange and exciting community.

my weekend was a blur of gintonics, coke and a lot of decadent fun with friends and strangers. after a considerable period of abstinence this was a welcome escape from all the daily shit that has the ability to drag you down into that deep, dark hole also known as the daily grind.

sitting at work now, contemplating when i'm going to break the news to that bastard son of the devil aka my manager that i'm quiting. actually, the question is: will i tell him to go fuck himself or do i keep it civilized?

i am new. i am interested. any help is more than welcome. i've been roaming the streets and alleys of everything2, i think i have, at least, a basic understanding...but who knows?

it's now 12:15 gmt...back to work.

I am nervous, giddy, flush with excitement. I am going to see her. I am going to see my girlfriend.I have a girlfriend. We, have a girlfriend, he and I, and I haven't even met him, never come close enough to sense the feel of him. Tonight it will be she and I. Tomorrow there will be three of us, curled on her bed, laying in each others arms.

I will kiss her. He will kiss her. And, if he is the person I think he is, I will find myself under his hands and hers. Aroused by watching the woman I am falling so hard for, so happy, intimately touching the man she loves, I will find myself going places I have only dreamed of for nearly ten years, sharing love, sharing touch, sharing self, and sharing mine.

Or maybe... maybe things will move in other ways.

The wheels are moving below me. I haven't missed my train. I will be in her arms in less than four hours, and this time, this time we know. We know that in some magical and unexpalinable way, we have fallen into heach others lives. We have fallen into each others hearts.

Two days from now I will board a train and head for home. And I don't know if I will be able to hold back any more. Love growns through touches. Love grows through sighs and breaths, through shared words and experiences, and this weekend..... we will share so much.

What will it be like to share your tongue, to share your touch and breath? will you hold me as you kiss him? Will you kiss me as you touch him?

I don't think we'll all fuck. I don't think he will be that comfortable that fast. But, the thought of him and you give me rushes that clench my stomach and make me wish I wasn't sitting inches away from complete strangers. What have you done to me dee? What sweet fortune and life, to have found someome like you. What tender goddess did I please to bring you into my life?

Whatever this weekend brings I will get to share some precious moments of your life.


It's been fifty seven hours since I arrived in NY and held my dee again. Thinking back there are three images that stand out in the most vibrant of technicolor. As dawn broke the first time the clouds were alight in deep orange and purple hues, that bathed and tinted the moving skins of deeahblita and knarphie as she watched my face. The shape of her mouth, and look on her face, as her pleasured moans escape her. And, her head cradled between my thighs as tears ran down her cheek. These images I will treasure for a lifetime and more.

There was so much this weekend, so many lessons... I met a knarphie. I met her kitty cat, and found in him things I expected, and things I did not. In some ways he is the person I was a decade ago and I was given a glimpse of what dealing with me was like for Karen. But, he is a boy of conflicts, with years of protective walls wrapped tightly around him. But he trusts me, trusts me enough to curl into me when I rub his hair, needing to pull close, needing to be enveloped with love, but still not letting himself go to it. When his kisses came they were filled with sweet intent, but only a tiny bit of him.

Where are you knarphie? Those walls are so thick. The pain within burns to the touch. I am hers knarphie, and as such I extend to you the use of my tools, and the lessons I've learned. But, there is little I can do through walls so thick.

There was a tension in the air this weekend, one that wasn't entirely unexpected. We worked backwards again. How is it we keep doing that dee? Sex first, introductions later. Knarphie, this is masu. Masu, this is knarphie. "Hey." "Hi." Laugh, giggle, smile, fuck. As the next couple days passed with sex, sleep, and party, (I feel so debaucherous) we missed out on the normal sensing and testing of each others boundaries. We had moments of intimacy before ever having a conversation in the flesh, in fact, I still haven't had a real conversation with him that wasn't on the phone.

We are finding our place with each other. I am finding my place with her. And I think the best thing knarphie and I can do is just spend time togther. Specifically, time when we are both clothed and awake. Odd concept that....

This weekend we managed to spend twenty-nine contiguous hours where we were never all clothed at the same time, more if you count the hours dee and I spent in each others arms before he arrived.

I love you dee. And I am looking forward to knowing you better knarphie.

On Saturday, I attended the funeral of my research director's mother. While funerals are always difficult affairs, this one was made particularly so due to the fact that I found out that my own Grandmother was hospitalized on Friday. Given that the two women were of the same age and suffered from the same ailments, what should have been a somber occasion was in fact quite a personally difficult one.

I really do appreciate and admire my research supervisor. He is a decent, forthcoming man who allowed us to see his appreciation and sorrow at the funeral. His eulogy was a beautiful, concise ode to his mother and his family, and it touched me deeply. However, during the ceremony there was a moment of silence as the priest played a selection from Handel's Messiah. Listening to that most beautiful of pieces of music, I was overcome with a sense of passing, and thus was not as surprised as I might have otherwise been when, upon returning home, I found out that my grandmother had passed away in the morning. In fact, she likely died while I was mourning the passing of another.

Clara Bence née Stricker (1912-2001) passed on the morning of Saturday the 31st of March, leaving behind three children, five grandchildren and a great-grandson. She was a kind, decent and funny individual, who like so many of her generation demonstrated her love amply in her own reserved way. To eulogize her, I would like to paraphrase my research supervisor:

Clara Bence died of pneumonia, that intimate friend of alzheimer's disease, which so often and so gently allows an elderly person to leave this life with some degree of dignity.
Ah, the first day back to school after Spring Break (see April 1, 2001 for what I did).

This pretty much sucks!
First, I found out I have a paper due Thursday! Ahhh! I wasn't going to work at all!
Just spend my hours with my precious Everything2!

So, my face is starting to peel away from the burn I got from the Bahamas. I hope I'll come out of it with a nice tan.

So otherwise, simply back to the drum of things.
Hey, did anyone see The X-files last night?! Pretty cool, huh? /msg me.
When something else happens, I'll write it, so stay tuned.

..wasting away again..

Need to to node something, but I don't seem to have any kind of inspiration at the moment. And when that happens, saddly, it seems I resort to daylogs. Not that daylogs are bad, by no means, it just means that I feel that, applying to me, daylogs are 'the thing to write when you have nothing to write'. Oh yes, if someone in a position reads thins, I think the Everything Snapshot should be brought back.

The most appropriate thing to spout off about first is, of course, the 'hillarity' that April 1, 2001 brought to the database. I'm going to say one line as my response to this, and I will never speak of it again:

Both sides took it too far.

There, I said it. I feel better.

It is, again, Monday, and I have absolutly no desire to put forth an effort to do any real work. It's raining hard here, and so I fear that we'll loose power any second now, so I'm slightly reluctant to get elbow-deep in the source hierarchy on the likely chance my machine will endure a dirty shutdown. That would be a shame, 'cause this box has had an uptime of 44 days so far. A personal best for me, if I do say so myself. If only Wine could run all the Windows apps I use at home, I'd convert there, too.

Maybe It's just the lack disraction at my workstation, but I an really, really missing my girlfriend right now.. I just saw her last night, but I can't stop thinking about her. Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me, something amiss. We've been together for years now, and yet I still feel the same feelings about her as I did when I first met her. My heart still leaps whenever I see her. She doesn't understand why, and I don't think I could ever explain it adequetly.. When I'm with her It is all I can do to resist holding her tightly and covering her with kisses -- usually I can't resist, but she doesn't seem to mind the attention. I feel like I'm still 16, and I still can't believe I have found someone who accepts me for who I am and confesses her love for me. I want her to be my bride, though we've both promised we'd put our lives in order before we make any 'big descisions'. I really don't think I could ever find anyone as wonderful as her, even if I live another 400 years. One in a million isn't a far-off number.

Geez, this turned into a bit of a rambling love note, didn't it? Now my 'tough guy' image is shot, and everyone is going to think I'm this squishy hopeless romantic.

Not that I mind.

I'm nervous. My first video piece is being screened publicly tonight. It doesn't suck, but it's not great, either. But it is my first, so it doesn't have to be a masterpiece, right?

After the screening, I have the first rehearsal for a new piece of electronic music of mine, for multi-instrumentalist and computer. It's for this friend who plays saxophones, clarinet, and flute, and for a program I wrote in MAX/MSP on computer. The title is windwoodwindvoltwind, and although I'm excited to hear it in action, I'm too exhausted to be able to deal if it doesn't sound good... which pieces never do in first rehearsal.

I really wish I could just have a week off, where I wouldn't have to go into work, and I wouldn't have to make art or have anyone see or hear anything by or about me. Can someone please arrange that for me?

Well life here at work has gotten worse... they let a bunch of people go... the headcount soared from 4 to 22. I want to ask my boss, does it matter if I work or not?

Life goes on but who will put the bread on the table if I'm next? I wanna become an ice-cream man.

To top it off the office window I have now has spots. Which is very disconcerting looking through the corner of my eye.

Life is harsh
My friends, I am a damn fool.


I had been out with some friends. Some of their friends were there too, many of whom I hadn't met before. One of those was a delightful young lady, who it transpired was even a little geeky (the web developer sort), and pretty flirty. I'd heard of her before - an online friend of mine went to high school with her and still has a bit of a thing for her.

The evening continued with a pub crawl, we went to a club and left it because it was pretty empty, and eventually headed back to someone's flat.

Being a student flat, there was much weed being smoked. I tried a joint for the first time, not an unpleasant experience really.

After a little while, the girl was showing me stupid tricks with her eyes, or trying to see how stoned I was, or something. In any case, she was staring into my eyes, her face about an inch or two away from mine. She'd been flirting with me for most of the evening, I'm sure of it. And I did nothing.

And I am majorly pissed off at myself for this, and vowed not to do this again.

The evening comes around, and a party at the same guy's flat. The same girl will be there. I'm gonna make a move, i told myself.

The night goes on, and she's a little stoned, lying on a bed, and I'm sitting next to her. She shows me the pendant on her necklace, it's pretty. A near perfect chance for me again, and we have this exchange..
You know how I'm always full of stupid questions?
Are you expecting me to make a move on you just now?
Would you complain if I did?
Well, uhh..

And I don't. I'm too chicken. I'm an idiot. What the hell came over me?

I've called a friend to try and get her number, he didn't have it but gave me the number of someone who does. His mobile was off at the time, but I did leave a message, and I'm hoping he's kind enough to get back to me so that I can see the girl sometime again soon.

And next time I won't be chicken.

if i am, you can shoot me

I started jury duty in the US District Court today. I really didn't think I'd be selected for the jury but I was. Obviously, I'm not sequestered.

The process was interesting. We checked in, watched a video, got an orientation to the process which basically repeated the video, and asked questions - most of which were about re-imbursement issues and how long we would be on call. Then a panel of about 50 of us were called to a courtroom. The judge introduced the lawyers, the defendant, the spouse of the defendant and read the names of potential witnesses. We were asked if we knew any of them or anything about the case. We were asked if we had friends or relatives or if we ourselves worked in the area the case is related to. We were asked if we had ever been the victim of a crime. We were asked if we had any conflicts with the projected schedule of the trial or if we had trouble sitting in comfortable chairs all day. Then the judge read the numbers of the selected jurors. I was surprised to be among them.

The officials did a lot all day to keep us happy, they were friendly and accommodating. On the other hand, we are our number; our names were not used a single time past the time we checked in. We are part of the machine, we are not there as individuals. This is how it should be.

It's happened to all of us.

You wake up from a nap you didn't intend to take, glance at the clock, and scream, "Holy shit! I'm late for work!" (Or school, or whatever.) Your heart starts pounding and your brain starts spinning through excuses: "My alarm clock didn't go off." "The bus was late." "I didn't know I was supposed to work today." You get out of bed, consider calling in, think about what lie you're going to give them or if you'll just tell the truth, thinking about how many other times you've been late that week . . .

And then you realize it's still 9 PM, not 9 AM. It's not dark outside at 9 AM. Shit.

Okay, time to go back to bed.

My lesson in dependability

Clocks and the changing time thing - since I was dependant on later times I wake later than should for work...

Work...Computers...The server's down and being backed up...I depend on having something useful to do...

Manager...with internal promotion paperwork...doesn't have time to get that looked at...depending on some monetary increase to afford a home...not gonna happen...

Friend and secretary invited me to watch a movie with mutual friends...and isn't there...nor is the movie...

Other friend was going to call...but she probably won't leave a message...more lack of dependability...

Love interest...not even gonna touch this one today...I'm in no mood...

That time right before a full moon...I am depressed...I don't ever know why...but it's dependably more likely than any other time...

Then there's the phenonemon of E2 being the only web page that takes me 10 minutes to load...ARGH!

Today I found my dads stash of pot.

I know my dad smokes marijuana, but he doesn't know that I know so he continues to lecture me about the evils of "dope", all the while I smile and nod, secretly thinking "You fucking hypocrite."

I used to smoke pot, but quit about two years ago, it was just a phase I went through as a young teenage guy, and I moved through the phase.
What pisses me off is that my dad hasn't gotten through the phase.

Anyhow, tomorrow I get to do my radio show for the Free Radio station here in Asheville, I'm really excited about it.
If anyone reads this and lives in the Asheville North Carolina area, please tune in to 107.5 FM around 8:00 PM untill 10:00 PM. (I know mat catastrophe lives around here, if you read this, please listen to me, I'm starved for attention!)

Spring is definitely here, it's getting warmer by the day, and I love it.
Spring really does something for me, it gives me an incredible energy boost to feel the warm sun on the skin of my arms. Also, this time of year I start writing poetry alot more than I usually do, which I really like.
The things I read that I know I wrote last spring seem so much better than what I've done all winter, maybe it's just me, but I think that spring is definitely my time of year.
I also always seem to get a girlfriend in spring.
For the last two springs I've started being more social, and as a direct result of that, I've gotten a girlfriend.
As nice as this sounds, things aren't looking too good right now, especially since my last two girlfriends completly crushed me.

If you read my daylog yesterday (and I suggest you do, because it's pretty crazy) then you will understand (and probably enjoy) the following information.

Sean, the guy who pissed himelf and the backseat of my car (I told you it's crazy) last night came behind me today at the coffee shop, and tapped me on the shoulder and said "Hey" and I turned around and saw him and he immediately said "So, do you just want to punch me now?" I told him that I wanted to but I'm not like that (however if I was like that, I would).
Sean apologized over and over, and offered to clean out my car (I told him that I already did last night, because I didn't want it to stain or stink).
After letting him apologize for about five minutes I said something like "Yhea, that's fucked up what you did, you were a total asshole last night." I said it really casual, like I meant it but I didn't want to waste my time on him (I really didn't).
So before walking up to the skate shop, he said "I really owe you one for that.", and I said "Yhea, you do."
I told him that I'll hit him up for something some other time, to make up for pissing all over my back seat, and ruining my trip.
Animals are so freakin cool.

I was running today on my usual trail which takes me past a duck pond. As I ran by the pond and approached a group of ducks, most of them sort of sidled away from me toward the pond. But a single duck shot out of the group and started running directly away from me.

His wings were not flapping at all and his little duck feet were pumping as fast as they could in a straight line along the path. I thought I had spooked him, but as I came up next to the duck he did not veer away. So there I was, running neck and neck with this duck, as if it was some kind of race. Well, this was a race I was not going to lose. As I pulled ahead of the duck, he was still going in a straight line -- following me now -- on the path. Wierd, I thought, I just beat a duck at the 10 meter dash!

And as I looked back again I saw what the whole thing was about. The pond was on our left side, and on the right side of the trail is a road. The duck suddenly veered from the trail into the street, where I noticed another duck was standing, head down, poking around for something on the pavement.

And runner duck got right up to street duck, got right in his face, and just let him have it. "Quack quack quack! Quack! Quack quack!" I think he was saying, "Get out of the street, you bozo!" And runner duck turned right around and walked back onto the path, still quacking up a storm. Street duck followed right behind with his head hung down.

Woke up at 3 PM.  Went downstairs and fucked with the pledges some.


Started doing some homework that was due at midnight.

Went to bowling.  We split the series today, ending up 4-4.  We're still in first place by a shitload, though.

Came back, more fun activities.

Decided *not* to stay up all night, so I caught some shuteye from 4-8 AM.  Probably was a smart idea.

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