So, Valentine's day is around the corner, and as usual, my plans were to stay in and moan to whoever was online about how none of my coupled friends are up for a drink. But, this year, it will be different! The other week, somewhere in Covent Garden, I found myself drinking with The Debutante and BaronWR. In this aristocratic and unattached company, a plan was hatched. The plan involved wine, food, and explosions. In other-words, the plan was to hold a nodermeet!

The plan is elegant in its simplicity. Noders who, whether intentionally or through the capriciousness of the global populace, find themselves unattached this Valentine's day are cordially invited to spend the evening in the cheerful company of their fellows who find themselves likewise.¹

The Debutante has offered to open her London house and serve warming, hearty dishes, and requests dietary requirements via /msg. There will doubtless be alcohol (and presumably non-alcohol) in various forms. The entertainment will be provided by DVDs featuring thrilling chases, daring-do, and gratuitous explosions. BaronWR has mentioned the possibility of a Wii. You are welcome to bring your own drink, DVDs, and hookers anything else you feel we shouldn't be without.

Obviously with two weeks yet to run, this guest list is provisional and subject to change, but as long as you are single on Valentine's Day 2009, you will be very welcome. Directions can be provided by /msg or other forms of electronic communication.

The Debutante, a debutante
BaronWR, a lord
Andrew Aguecheek, a knight

Sam512, a power
DTal, a colonist
Hazelnut, a squire
Katrina, a lady
arieh, a gentleman (Well, we're hoping so, anyway. DEB.)
shouldhavenodebetter, an earl
fondue, unannounced

¹As DEB rightly points out, those excluded from the guest list are going to be busy anyway...

The tallest building in Great Britain is was One Canada Square... Wait, what?

I too was rather shocked what I found out that too. It’s rather rare for landmarks to be named after other countries, even if we do happen to share a monarch. Probably due to this fact, the tower is oft referred to as the Canary Wharf Tower, after its location. While it is not the only tower located at Canary Wharf, it is still the tallest.

In the skyline, it easily catches the eye. A square monolithic structure of stainless steel and glass, it towers over its neighbours, and is topped off with a distinctive pyramid. The pyramid is made of stainless steel, and is lit up at night. It can be seen from over 20 miles away.

Construction on the building commenced in 1988, and was completed in 1991. It houses 50 floors, and depending on who you talk to, it is either 800 ft or 771 ft tall. The 800 ft claim is made by the building owners, whereas the 771 ft number is found on the official aviation charts. Either way, this is still tall enough to be granted the title of tallest building in Britain, for the time being. The Riverside South building, also at Canary Wharf, is slated for completion in 2011 and will be slightly taller than One Canada Square, at 774 ft, and the Shard London Bridge which is slated for completion in 2012 will tower over them at 1017 ft.

Update: Andrew Aguecheek says re One Canada Square: Possibly worth an update - the Shard is now the tallest building in Great Britain, and indeed the EU.,/p>

One Canada Square primarily houses office space, with some limited retail. Its total floor area is 1,238,000 sq ft, and the majority of the building is leased out. There is some shopping in the basement, as well as a link to the Canada Square shopping centre, as well as links to public transit. The basement and the lobby are the only parts of the building that are open to the public.

The tower was built by Olympia and York, with the primary architects being Cesar Pelli & Associates Architects. Olympia and York filed for bankruptcy in 1992, due in no small part to their inability to keep the building full, as part of a general downturn in the London commercial property market. But, eventually the market recovered, and One Canada Square’s fortunes, along with the rest of the Canary Wharf development, was boosted by the extension of the Jubilee line of the London Underground, which added a stop in Canary Wharf in 1999. The building is now owned by the Canary Wharf Group.

The tower was the target of an attempted terrorist attack in 1992, when the IRA tried placing a van rigged with a large bomb near the building. Fortunately, the detonator on the device failed, and there was no damage caused. However, this event led to stricter security in the building, including the closure of the observation deck on the 50th floor.

Now-a-days, One Canada Square is one of the primary financial centres of London, and by extension, the world. Over 9,000 people schlep to and from work at One Canada Square on a daily basis. We shall, of course, have to see how the ramifications of the global credit crisis of 2008 affects the fortunes of its occupants.

Five years in the noding, I present:

A Cambridge Nodermeet

21st June 2008

Picnicing, punting and pubbing in the ivory towers

The place

Cambridge is best known for its university (founded in 1209 by scholars fleeing from rival Oxford), which has produced any number of eminent figures, and important discoveries. It's also one of the prettiest towns in England, and one of the nicest places to spend a summer's day. It's also been my home for the last four years. Sadly, I'm shortly moving to the Big Smoke, but before I left I thought I'd invite all you noders over for a chilled-out weekend indulging in a few typically Cambridge pursuits.

The plan

The plan is simple: From 11am I shall be sitting in the Eagle pub in the centre of Cambridge. It's probably Cambridge's best known pub, and supposedly where the structure of DNA was first scribbled on the back of a napkin, so it seems like a good place to start. Once noders are gathered, we will head out, via the shops, and enjoy a picnic by the River Cam (bonus points for anyone who brings anything homemade). When we're all sufficiently fortified, we shall charter punts and go punting, which, for those unfamiliar with the term, is an excellent way to waste an afternoon by chartering a boat and trying to go somewhere by the most inefficient method possible, while drinking Pimm's and eating strawberries, and doubtless making wise and interesting comments on the issues of the day. It's worth remembering that people do occasionally fall in while punting, so don't wear anything that can't withstand a dousing with cold water.

To finish up the day, we will explore many of Cambridge's fine drinking establishments, in a meander through a variety of pubs (with an emphasis on decent beer, history and a lack of loud music), picking up dinner at one of the better ones.

The practicalities

Cambridge is reasonably well connected with the rest of the country by the usual selection of rail, road and coach. The station is (apocryphally) some distance out of town to prevent too many students succumbing to the hedonistic temptations of London, but fifteen minutes walk takes you straight to the centre of Cambridge. Those coming by car are reccommended to use the park and ride areas that surround Cambridge, as parking in town is scarce and expensive. Of course, if you're coming, msg me for my number in case of any problems.

Secondly, I am unfortunately still a penniless student, so accommodation with me is limited: my floor is large enough to accommodate several noders, but it's in a shared house, so facilities are somewhat limited: msg me if you need crash space, but I can't guarantee it, I'm afraid. For those on a tight budget, there's a not-hugely extortionate youth hostel, details of which can be found here, alternatively, there are numerous hotels in the Cambridge area.

UPDATE

Unfortunately, the weather forecast is not good: the weather for the last few days has been distinctly variable, so it could be anything from blazing sunshine to heavy rain: pack accordingly. We do have an alternative plan for rain: we'll take a wander round Cambridge's museums, and probably start the pub crawl a bit earlier.

Secondly, The Debutante has kindly offered to cook a roast for noders still around on Sunday: she's based in Newmarket, which is a short train/bus ride away from Cambridge. Msg her if you're interested.

The people

As if the prospect of a weekend in one of England's prettiest towns isn't enough to tempt you, there will also be the company of many of the finest Britnoders:

Cantabrigians

• BaronWR: Professor of unnatural sciences
• Andrew Aguecheek: Reader in misleading cases
• The Debutante: Chair of teapot studies
• Wntrmute: Professor of cruel and unusual geometry
• sam512: Regius Professor of Chronology
• La petite mort: The Librarian
• StrawberryFrog: Dean of unusual facial hair

Vacillators

• sloebertje
• Noung
• krimson

Oxonians

• Dimview
• Junkill
• voltaireontoast
• Heisenberg
• TheLady
• Andromache01

PS. Anyone who fleshes out the punting node so that it doesn't appear to be an obscure sexual fetish will receive my eternal gratitude (real value: 1 pint).

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.

Samuel Johnson

London is one crazy, beautiful city. She started as a mile square and grew to be the first city with over one million inhabitants. She's been obliterated by flame and pestilence. She's been bombed and mobbed. But she's as constant as the Thames flowing through her. It's taken me a great many years to feel anything that might resemble affection for her, but I have always respected her. And yes, London's definitely a she. So when Junkill announced his intention to pay the Britnoders a visit, I leapt at the opportunity to see what I could organise.

However, London's a very expensive city. In fact, according to some clever economics-y types, London is the second most expensive city in the world, after, believe-it-or-not, Moscow. Doubtless she seems excruciatingly expensive for anyone outside of the M25. Inside the M25 is bad enough. So that our guest of honour wouldn't be economically crippled and in the hope that other people would join the party, I set about organising the cheapest meet in London I could. Thusly, I present to you:

London for free or at the most the cost of a one day travel card.

It's about seeing as many interesting aspects of London as can be managed without spending any money, or passing out from exhaustion. And being me, there'll be lots of history involved. That's why we'll be meeting by the bronze statue of Boudicca not very far from Westminster tube station, and we'll move forwards in time from there. You can expect a few monuments, some bridges and boats, maybe a church or two, and possibly even a cemetery. In traditional nodermeet fashion, we'll finish in a pub. (But that bit won't be free. Sorry.)

This is going to involve a lot of walking, and possibly some time on the tube, so you'll need to be prepared. It's also April, in the UK. The weather will be about as predictable as the Grand National: I'd advise layers, with something waterproof on top. As for lunch, I'll be bringing my own. It'll be Pesach, which means that I can't eat out. I'm inclined to suggest that other people do something similar, but if there are vehement objections we can rethink it.

Interested? 11 a.m., Saturday 26 April 2008. By the statue of Boudicca. I'll be the small one with the rucksack, comfy shoes, and A-Z.

Junkill will be the bewildered looking American.
Andrew Aguecheek will be the one that used to have long hair, but doesn't anymore.
Dimview will be the excited one.
Sam512 will be the one looking for the time machine.
Hazelnut will be the one doing a good impression of Boudicca.
Heisenberg will be the one who joins us later.
BaronWR will be spotting cool things to occupy him when he moves to London.
voltaireontoast will be breaking her nodermeet virginity.
Wntrmute will be the one with the entourage.
DTal will be the one with the calculator.

Amongst other things Boris Johnson is a journalist, who like many in his profession, visited Iraq during the course of the Iraq War in 2003. On the 1st May 2003 the Daily Telegraph published his report on a visit he'd made to the home of Tariq Aziz, former Deputy Prime Minister in Saddam Hussein's administration, "on the palm-fringed banks of the Tigris". Of course by the time that Boris got to look around the villa, Aziz had already been captured by American forces and his home had been comprehensively looted by the Iraqis. Or as Boris put it; "You never saw such a mess. Naked wires sprouted from every wall where the light fittings had been ripped out. The very bidets had been smashed by the mob, in search of heaven knows what, and the safe lay blackened and gaping on its side, apparently having been opened by a bazooka." However amongst the chaos Boris came across a "fine red leather cigar case, capable of holding three Winston Churchills", although it was missing the top. Since Aziz was known to be partial to cigars, he surmised that it might well have been Aziz's very own cigar case.

As it turned our Boris was willing to admit to suffering a momentary moral qualm as he was "just about to trouser" the item, since said cigar case might well indeed have been Mr Aziz's property, and did not Mr Aziz "deserve to be treated with the same respect for his rights as anyone else?". However after musing for a while on Tariq Aziz's involvement in the invasion of Kuwait, together with other sundry other acts of mass murder, he put such qualms aside, and duly trousered the item. Although he did conclude that "If he wants it, I suppose he can have it back."

Whilst Boris Johnson might well have produced a typically entertaining piece of journalism, it was naturally all soon forgotten. That is until the 21st February 2008 when SCD6, the Art and Antiques Unit of the Metropolitan Police, wrote to Boris on the subject of Illegally removed Iraqi cultural property, stating that, "Police attention has been drawn to reports suggesting that you have in your possession an item that may be Iraqi cultural property, namely a cigar case from the address of Tariq Aziz", citing Section 8(2) Statutory Instrument 1519 2003.

The statutory instrument in question, the Iraq (United Nations Sanctions) Order 2003, made under the United Nations Act 1946, came into force on the 14th June 2003, pursuant to a resolution adopted by the Security Council of the United Nations on the 22nd May 2003, which made it an offence to possess or deal in "Illegally removed Iraqi cultural property". The intention was clearly to try and prevent the looting of Iraqi art works and valuables that was widespread in the chaos following the regime change of 2003, although since Section 8(4) of the regulations defined the offending items as being those of "archaeological, historical, cultural, rare scientific or religious importance illegally removed from any location in Iraq since 6th August 1990" it wasn't entirely clear as to whether the Security Council or indeed Her Majesty's Government had in mind a leather cigar case with the top missing which might or might not have been once in the possession of a former member of the Iraqi government.

Naturally the incident came to the attention of the Daily Telegraph who duly ran the story under the headline "Police probe Boris Johnson over cigar 'theft'" on the 27th February 2008. This caused some embarrassment in the upper ranks of the Metropolitan Police, as the Telegraph later quoted a "senior source" as saying that, "It is fair to say that the issue should have been handled differently. It should have been referred higher up. More senior officers should have been involved. It has not come out the way we would have wanted it to." None of which explained why it had taken the Met the best of five years to get around to investigating the matter, even if a leather cigar case with the top missing was indeed an item of archaeological, historical, cultural, rare scientific or indeed religious importance to Iraqi culture.

The explanation may well be linked to the fact that Boris is currently the Conservative Party candidate for the office of Mayor of London and as such is attempting to prevent the incumbent Ken Livingstone from winning a third term as Mayor. As surprising as it might seem to some, Boris is widely regarded as as actually having a chance of winning the election. Although Ken Livingstone has denied that it was anything to do with him, and indeed put forward a spokesman who described the whole thing as "ridiculous" and that he did "not support it", there are cynics who believe that it was someone in Livingstone's campaign team who had first drawn the police attention to the "reports" in question. Or as Brian Paddick, the Liberal Democrat candidate for Mayor (and who was at one time an assistant commissioner of the Metropolitan Police and therefore knows a thing or two about practical policing) noted, he was "very curious about the timing of this five years after the event."

SOURCES

• Boris Johnson, Nice try, Tariq Aziz ... but no cigar, Daily Telegraph, 01/05/2003
  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/main.jhtml?xml=/opinion/2003/05/01/do0102.xml
• Andrew Pierce, Police probe Boris Johnson over cigar 'theft', Daily Telegraph, 27/02/2008
  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/02/27/nboris127.xml
• Andrew Pierce, Police admit blunders in Boris Johnson case, Daily Telegraph, 28/02/2008
  www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/02/28/ntory328.xml
• The Iraq (United Nations Sanctions) Order 2003
  http://www.opsi.gov.uk/si/si2003/20031519.htm