ABOVE: my card
Welcome to my HOMENODE
Greetings! This is the Everything2 Homenode for Kellum Johnson. My penname (Enormous John Junkill) is an anagram for my real name, and it is pronounced "JUNK-ill," just like it is spelled (although, if you want to go around pronouncing it as though it were French, zhun-KEEL, I won't mind!). If you are new to Everything2, looking for help and advice, feel free to contact me. If you are wanting to read my work, please see above under "View Junkills Writeups" click on the link and it will take you to a list (in reverse chronological order) of my writings here (there's also an index at the bottom of this page, if you scroll down, sorted by subject).
If you would like to contact me about any of my writings on E2, please see the contact information below. If you think you might be interested in signing up for an E2 account, I can help there too!
JUNKILL IS (Like You Asked)
A 60-year old lifetime resident of the Dallas, Texas area. Lucky enough to be born on a very luck-luck-lucky day indeed (same as two other noders of high regard), he currently works as a massage therapist, although his career path has offered such interesting jobs as running a kid's clothing store, washing dishes in a hospital kitchen, proofreading, advertising design, and tax package layout.
He lives in a house with 2 cats, one guinea pig, and Suzi, his beloved Platonic Life Partner. Apart from E2, Mr. Johnson's hobbies include reading, writing, singing karaoke, travel, and music. He is the author of a self-published dictionary of mythological and legendary characters, which is currently in its third edition.
His website is http://www.kjmassage.com
His blog is at http://junkill.blogspot.com/
Address is available through EMAR and phone number (should you need it for some reason) is on his website.
Too Much Good Writing Around Here—Seven Nodes that I Think are Amazing
The glass is full. by originalzin
The Mother Tongue: English and How it Got That Way by owain2002
trichotillomania by annnie
John Zacherle by Jet-Poop
How to teach Sarah Palin a new trick by lostcauser
White van speaker scam by ioyza
June 8, 2009 by tentative
I've Been Re-Working Some of my Old Nodes
Kilroy Was Here (11/28/09)
Platonic Life Partner (12/29/08)
mercury poisoning (9/6/07)
mental_floss (8/24/07)
Great Lakes (6/4/07)
Ringtail (1/7/07)
I solemnly covenant that at least 90% of my writeups shall contain words.
" Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow."—Helen Keller
And...for no other reason (other than emulating my hero, here are my writeups, categorised:
(UNDER CONSTRUCTION)
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My Noders Choice Awards (the top five in terms of votes, chings, praise, and just downright good goodness!)
- Breast massage (breasts, massage ... two nice things that go well together...People really liked this one, and it has been used by a breast cancer group and by a therapist who was exonorating himself from a sexual harassment charge!)
- pwnt (who'd have thought that a funny little writeup about a silly gamer neologism would be so dadburned popular?)
- Platonic Life Partner (the story of true love...platonic style)
- Hairy armpits on women are attractive (I got a surprising amount of really positive feedback on this one, even from people who disagree with the general thesis. And yeah, they are, in a big way!)
- Everything Stops for Tea (A cute little song that I turned into what I consider one of my best pieces ever)
- mental_floss (magazine)
- Daffy Duck (how he got his voice)
- Stratovox (the first talking video game? Well...maybe.)
- esquilax
- Riget (wonderful Danish horror show, titled the Kingdom in English)
- French and Saunders
- Nighthawks
- Shippo
- Mighty Jack (a wonderfully bad movie)
- The Straight Dope (column, books)
- Giorno Poetry Systems
- Shikoku (skeery ghosts, Japanese style)
- Blood Waters of Dr. Z (one of the worst movies ever!)
- Playing Cards (where they came from...hint, it wasn't the Chariots of the Gods aliens bringing them down!)
- Superdickery (side-splittingly funny site about bad comic panels and covers)
- Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends
- spoilers to follow (hey, I thought it was funny!)
- A good week for the business, and Suzi is out of town
- Thoughts upon the funeral of a friend's mother
- My mother's death
- My first noder-birthday
- Landmarks and Landmines
- I get into a real book
- I'll sum up for you: Time-Warner internet service SUCKSSS!!!!
- Funeral for a ferret
- Worst. Podcast. Ever.
- Three of Suzi's nightmares—for Dream Quest
- My votes for Lost Gems of Yesteryear
- Real Editor Editorial
- BrevityQuest07 (the first quest I ever helped moderate. Quite fun, actually!)
- I'm going to England!
- And the nodermeet I attended there
- A friend moves away
- A new generation of podpeople
- Suzi on American politics
- petrissage
- tapotement
- Massage Terms
- deep tissue massage
- effleurage
- friction massage
- massage and depression
- massage ethics
- Oakworks (finest massage tables and chairs around)
- trigger point
- Breast massage
- Benefits of professional massage therapy
- Finding a professional massage therapist
- What to expect during a professional massage therapy session
- Styx (my idea of a joke...see, first I noded the members of the rock band Styx, then the Titaness named Styx...come on, it's FUNNY!)
- me
- The Origin of Love
- Samson
- Delilah
- Huehuecoyotl
- Adonis
- Tarot (history of the tarot...oooh!)
- Mohini (tale a great demon slayer, and one of the demons she slew)
- Brahma
- Hjuki and Bil
- Medea (my favourite femme fatale from mythology)
- Saci (a cool friend told me of this trickster that haunts the forests of Brazil)
- Elf
- Bali (mythical characters should really pay some attention to common sense!)
- Bean Woman and Corn Man (the most romantic myth ever)
- Kilroy Was Here (album)
- Tommy Shaw
- James Young
- Dennis DeYoung
- Chuck Panozzo
- John Panozzo
- Jack Blades
- Night Ranger
- Damn Yankees
- Andy Fairweather-Low
- Goth
- the Alarm
- Lynn Margulis (science writer)
- Saint Leonard
- Saint Bruno
- Cap'n Crunch
- George Nakashima (American sculptor, furniture guy, architect)
- Jay Ward (Inventor of Bullwinkle J. Moose)
- James Lovelock (science guy)
- Wolfgang Hadamitzky (Japanese language scholar)
- Dorothy Dandridge
- Dermot Morgan
- Dawn French
- John Giorno (American poet)
- Mr. Peanut (who would have thought that an animated legume could be such a great entertainer?)
- Frick and Frack
- Common name
- spick and span
- Coals to Newcastle
- Profanity
- run the gauntlet
- oogy (did this one on a challenge from Raspy)
- jargon
- pwnt
- fubar
- sirloin
- rookie
- pseudolanguage
- Ringtail
- Bassariscus
- Civet
- Genet
- otter (I did it for wertperch!!)
- Maxwell's Otter (also a wertperch special)
- cuscus
- jimsonweed (I'm not sure why, but toxicity and so forth just fascinates me)
- Great Lakes
- Seven Wonders of the Ancient World
- Northpark Center
- Grand Turk
- Reims (themanwho challenged me to do this one, and it was a LOT of fun)
- Carrollton, Texas (not an exciting place, but somewhere I've had a lot of connection with over the years)
- White Rock Lake (a place I grew up)
- Lynton Hotel (London's best bed and breakfast)
- Driving in the car, Listening to Queen on 8-Track (got me noticed by a real writer, who put it in his book!)
- The Christians and the Pagans
- ferret jacket moment (A term for a silly object that brings a wave of sadness. And a story of our first little fuzzy-wuzzy, Davey.)
- Platonic Life Partner
- Hairy armpits on women are attractive
- The Thing in the Closet (true story of something weird that once happened to me)
- So many people have come and gone, their faces fade as the years go by (what a strange cocktail party is the workplace!)
- Joint
- Nomina Anatomica
- Terminalogia Anatomica
- Cryptomnesia
- Quinine
- Hamstring muscles
- Epsom salts
- Pastrami
- rolled oats
- stell-cut oats
- Everything Stops for Tea
- hefeweizen
- pizza sandwich (for Hazelnut's FatQuest 2008)
- my brain feels clean as a whistle
- mind flayer
- Chicory Chicory Craney Crow
- playing cards
- tarot
- Mercury Poisoning
- heavy metal poisoning
- xenoglossy (Not sure if this is a BAD thing that can happen, probably just a weird thing)
- trypanosomiasis
- Nigerian mail scams
- subconjunctival hemorrhage (red spots on the eye--they look a lot worse than they are)
- Ferretvite
- Dining in
- Chrysler New Yorker
- class ring
- Lynton Hotel (London's best-kept secret)
- Water and Light
- Happy Kitty Bunny Pony
- Who Goes There? (a scary story with a creepy origin)
- Everything2 Remembers September 11, 2001
- The Organic Chemistry Blues (something silly from my years in the University)
- Hevvy Chevvy (comes with a funny story)
- Grey (full of sweet longing, something I wrote to a girl who was very special to me)
- Marsh Arabs
- Human Rights Campaign
- learner's permit
- Xerox 9700
- Mother's Night
- Briefcase Full of Souls - Part I
- flash cards
Entertainment
Daylawgs and other lawgs
Massage
Myths, Legends, Folklore, Sacred Texts, that sort of thing
Rockin and a-rollin is only howling at the moon...
People I Think Are Cool
Words are COOL
Animals and Plants
Places to go
Essays
Medico-physio-anatomicacacial
Eat, Drink, and be Merry
Games and Diversions
Unfortunate Things that can Happen to you
Consumer Goods & Services
Books
Poetry
uncategorised yet