maybe
some days I can't do maybe
when it's maybe maybe maybe
when I am vulnerable sad tired or stressed
I have two patients dying
expected and appropriate
but their families cry
and now I have a family member
in hospice, just heard this morning
a new grandmother
I remember my mother
and my grandmother
and my other dead
sister father mother grandparents aunts uncles
friend in college
friends, patients, loss
soon I'll know more dead then living
some days I turn off my phone
some days I need to lean on a sure thing
some days I can't lean on maybe
so I would rather not