Everything Day Logs
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Everything Snapshot

Time: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 00:03:53 GMT
Everything server: Apache/1.3.9 (Unix) Debian/GNU mod_perl/1.21_03-dev
Number of nodes: 610580 (1713 new since July 14, 2000)
Number of users: 16853 (31 new since July 14, 2000)
Number of links: 2384796 (26728 new since July 14, 2000)

Node to user ratio: 36.230 nodes per user
Link to node ratio: 3.906 links per node
Link to user ratio: 141.506 links per user

New Nodes: [I Still Know What Your Breasts Did Last Summer] [Waukegan] [Survivor2: Week 2] [Tracking And Counter Tracking] [Someday you will all come to your senses and C! every last one of my nodes.] [Why are other peoples' beds more comfortable?] [Submissions for the Everything Quote Server] [Albert Uderzo] [1906] [faked lisps] [I Try] [How to Open a Door] [faked lisps] [Boyakasha] [Olive Garden]

Users Online (37): [Pseudo_Intellectual] [dannye] [JeffMagnus] [Uberfetus] [hamster bong] [CaptainSpam] [themusic] [hatless] [Lord Brawl] [mat catastrophe] [Quizro] [prole] [icicle] [binarydreams] [MasterYoshi] [fondue] [Stride] [coby] [RimRod] [whizkid] [Gamaliel] [Halcyon&on] [trega] [ccunning] [Roninspoon] [urbanmisfit] [chromatic] [matsmats] [ifeeldizzy] [tribbel] [WeamsCarnival] [CzarKhan] [sarahh] [humbabba] [Big Willy] [continuity] [jamie]

JeffMagnus node count: 3841 (5 new since July 14, 2000)
JeffMagnus experience: 7367 (104 more since July 14, 2000)
JeffMagnus experience to node ratio: 1.918 XP per node
JeffMagnus nodeshare: 0.630%
JeffMagnus node of the day: Everything 2 Civil War

I work the midnight shift. There are usually only a few other people here, and they sit in a cluster down the room. I sit apart from them, as that is my nature, being a misanthropic, surly mf. I keep my own counsel, you know? And this feet-dragging, gum-chewing stale pastry of a girl hired to work the phones comes in at 0600 and sits at the veal-fattening pen over the wall. Being a surly mf, I asked if that was her desk, and thank Ken, she's filling in for someone this week and usually works the afternoons. Aside from that, the day tour is shall be moving to a different section in the short-term future. So I can calm my surly ass down and wait it out. But I was staking out new, farther-removed territory the second her ass touched the seat.

There's been a storm most of the morning, so I went outside. The lightning was like varicose veins in the sky

(If that's not the worst simile you've ever heard, I'd like to know what is)

Earlier it was shooting down from the sky like normal but then it began to flicker and snake parallel in small, random areas. Anyway.

My car stereo still doesn't work, and I've spent a lot of time driving my car around lately, so I keep trying to think of entire songs but usually fail miserably. Why don't I know any complete songs? There always seems to be one stanza that's missing, so I keep repeating the same one or two stanzas like I'm rainman. Maybe I'm just tired.

Yesterday | Dizzy->Day_Logs() | Tomorrow

11:40 BST

2 anonymous phonecalls already! Maybe I should feel grateful that someone is taking the time to hassle me. If I report this, I wonder if BT and the police will laugh at me because I'm a guy?

This is going to be a hard day. My Withdrawal has crept up on me and wrestled me down. Recovering from painkiller abuse is not nice in any way.

16:40 BST

Feeling better. It's funny how washing and dressing properly can restore a sense of well being. One day I shall node IRC as therapy to try and explain my thoughts.

Outside, my grass has grown to monumental proportions. I wish this crap British Weather would get better; I want to undertake a medium effort garden project sometime soon.

Decision for the day: Should I get a coldframe, spend more money on larger plants or put new fencing up?

22:20 BST

Hmm, Flight of the Navigator was on scifi channel; that is such a cool film!

<< week | July 14, 2000 | July 15, 2000 | July 16, 2000 | week >>

Everything's Best Users Snapshot

   #   Users                   XP   wa7   inc Level   l_XP l_wa7
   1   EDB                  20017     1     0     1  20017     1
   2   Pseudo_Intellectual  18874   146    47    11  18827   162
   3   DMan                 17375   167   103     9  17272   178
   4   dem bones            15497   139    48    11  15449   154
   5   Segnbora-t           12282   102    93    10  12189   104
   6   Saige                12274   121   168    10  12106   113
   7   sensei                9568   113   100     7   9468   115
   8 * dannye                9567   124   226     9   9341   107
   9 - pukesick              9471    12     6    10   9465    13
  10   tregoweth             9069    97    26    10   9043   109
  11   Deborah909            8562    41    22    10   8540    44
  12   ideath                8185    92   116     8   8069    88
  13   N-Wing                8002    21     2     9   8000    24
  14   Lometa                7876    65    90     9   7786    61
  15   Jet-Poop              7762    24     5     9   7757    27
  16   yossarian             7724    60    33     9   7691    65
  17   knifegirl             7686    48    21     9   7665    52
  18   /dev/joe              7588    58    11     8   7577    66
  19   jessicapierce         7520   -22    20    10   7500   -29
  20   Tem42                 7516    67   108     8   7408    60
  21   JeffMagnus            7374    44    12     9   7362    49
  22   pingouin              7122    29    43     9   7079    27
  23   moJoe                 6981    69   134     9   6847    58
  24   ModernAngel           6802    19     4     9   6798    21
  25   General Wesc          6732    27    25     9   6707    27
  26   bozon                 6694    94   136     9   6558    87
  27   hoopy_frood           6607    51    65     8   6542    49
  28 * Sylvar                6116    84   149     7   5967    73
  29 - novalis               6022    16    -1     9   6023    19
  30   juliet                5733    47     5     9   5728    54
  31 * hamster bong          5506    77    75     6   5431    77
  32 - Uberfetus             5501    44    15     6   5486    49
  33 * Templeton             5501    71   122     6   5379    62
  34 - alex.tan              5415    34     9     7   5406    38
  35   sabre23t              5203    59    96     6   5107    53
  36   bitter_engineer       5078    50    39     7   5039    52
  37   RockLobster           5001     5     3     9   4998     5
  38   nine9                 4974    11     4     9   4970    12
  39   yam                   4971    12    20     7   4951    11
  40   wharfinger            4781    65    85     6   4696    62
  41 * kessenich             4615    29    40     9   4575    27
  42 - ariels                4614    29    18     8   4596    31
  43   Sarcasmo              4411     4    -3     8   4414     5
  44   knarph                4309    19     2     9   4307    22
  45   CaptainSpam           4125    19    35     9   4090    16
  46   themusic              4084    35    20     8   4064    37
  47 * Lord Brawl            4064    27    84     8   3980    18
  48 - Dis                   4055    70     1     6   4054    81
  49 - Orange Julius         4048    31     5     7   4043    35
  50   hatless               4026    54    79     8   3947    50
  51   Woundweavr            3823    14     5     8   3818    15
   *   EBU #51               3823    20     5     *   3818    23

Server time: 13:17 Sat Jul 15 2000 UTC, corrected since June 29, 2000

* = users rising up in the EBU; - = users falling down in the EBU
l_ = last (previous) value; inc = increase in stats value
wa7 = ((stats + (6 * l_wa7))/7) = weighted average with denominator 7

sabre23t: Random Nodes

sabre23t: Nodes to node

They will be arriving from Italy within a hour or two. I will then be relived of my present duties and will be able to leave for a late night mission in the inner city. This will most possibly be a success, but I won't know how much of a success until tomorrow.

I was 22 years old yesterday, today I am 23. One year closer to death. My major experiences during the age of 22:

Mary Shelley finished Frankenstein at the age of 19. This has haunted me since the age of 20, and yet it is an inspiration: I am old enough to do what might define me as a historical person, but I am also afraid that time is running out.

I will spend tomorrow defining goals for my next year, but so far this is the plan:

Today: Wake ~8:00 with my alarm. Lacking any motive to get up that early on a weekend, I sleep in til 11:30. A phrase that has been turning over and over in my mind all week: "Whatever you believe will seem to be true". I am covering 2nd shift as QC technician this evening, I intend to attend church tomorrow morning, then a birthday party in the evening. I have not made much "quiet time" this weekend, and my feelings are conflicted about that.
Yesterday: Wake ~5:30 to bring my car in to a private inspection shop by 6:30, hop a bus to work, take the bus back to the shop at lunchtime to pick up the car. YAY! Finally, for the first time in 8.5 months, my car is completely legal! Return American Beauty, pick up Fight Club. Dinner is a QuikChek sub sandwich. Flatmate and I poke smot and watch the movie, then bedtime.
D-3: (WED) One of my boss's first concerns today is to notify me of a raise and change of title. In the next few days I will find that this came from my former boss suggesting it to the president, NOT from any initiative or concern on my current boss's part. He had previously put the issue off 'til the end of the year, after all. I know which side of my bread is buttered, I want my former boss back. Mom gives me a pack of construction paper get-well cards from my first grade classmates, from the time my tonsils were removed, and a few years' worth of grammar school class pictures. I am expected to want to haul yet more ballast through life with me. "Scan and discard" is the order of the day.
D-4: (TUE) I take a personal holiday today. The long weekends have spoiled me, a whole five-day work week seems too onerous to bear. I waste the morning sleeping in... or is that really such a waste? Sleep is one of my favorite pastimes...
I think all the excitement and change of the last few weeks is aggravating my tendency to manic-depressive frustration.
It’s raining.

It always rains in Florida this time of year, but I’m talking about thunder and lightening, cats and dogs, monsoon weather. The works. So no canoeing today. Again.

The weather fits my mood. I’m pissed off and I have no idea why. I have a great new job, my online magazine just launched, and things are fine. I don’t know what’s wrong – I was surly at work yesterday (and it was a slow day, just like all week) and last night I started a fight with my father. It was one of those things where you watch yourself getting furious but don’t know how to stop it because it’s like you are standing outside yourself.

Maybe if the rain lets up I’ll go out and buy some useless crap to console myself with soulless consumer goods.

But my node Poet Laureate of the US has been on Cream of the Cool for the last hour, so that makes me happy.
about 4:30 p.m... Torontonian time. (I dont know the time zones.)

It seems to be raining in the world of Everythingians all over the globe. I am no exception. It's been drizzling all day, at some points raining while it's sunny - someone told me yesterday that this means the devil is fighting with his wife. They didn't know the root of this old wives tale, but I don't really mind.

Today, the rain could cause me some real problems. I'm having a barbecue tonight. I do not desire barbecuing in the rain.

But I guess I don't really care about the rain that much.

I'm moving out in a couple of weeks to a place I've never seen, right across the country, so this will probably be the last time I see alot of these people. I guess the big change has made me want to tie up any loose ends before I go. I've been diddling around my house all day but haven't really done anything besides clean and shower. My parties are always a surprise in terms of who comes. There's always more than I expect.

I even invited an old ex that I haven't seen for over a year.

Of course, no one is here yet. I'm not sure what to do with myself - or whether I want people to start coming over yet. I'm restless, but if anyone comes over I'll have to entertain them. I don't think I need that quite yet.

I am..

Thoroughly exhausted. Smiling, a bit. Happy. Confused, as per usual. Drawn to a little human who is quite far from me, but oh so dreamy. In need of a drink.

Today, I.. (in no particular order)

Woke up early due to the smell of bleach. Played pool, very badly. Weaseled my way out of a birthday party that I was far too tired to attend. Went to Pizza Hut, and made a fool of myself in the best possible way. Sang songs in the car on the way to and from the city, including but not limited to "The Little Drummer Boy", "Rubber Ducky". Thought about things a lot. Received an e-mail that made me smile. Felt like I wasn't alone, even if I probably am to a point.

I don't know about this day, it was odd. Lots of volatile emotion from within my tired little brain. I guess that happens, lack of sleep and all. Crying in a grocery store.. I was on the verge of crying at the slightest inconvenience most of the day. Sleep deprivation can be a crazy crazy thing.
Had a relaxing day of lying around the pool, lying around in bed with the new girl, and not much else.

Hmm. random change of heart; but at least I'm going for it with my all. I figure... what's the worst that can happen? You die. Until then, I've found somebody that really makes me happy, so why complain.

It was a non-thinking day. I am now tan, happy, and tired.

Tomorrow we go to Dim Sum!
Wow ...

Had two friends from home come to visit me yesterday. My friend Dennis and my ex, George. Weirdness abounded ...

George and I broke up almost two years ago, but we were stupid and didn't really, exactly "break up". We were moving to opposite sides of the United States (Maryland and Washington) and neither one of us was really into a long distance relationship. So, we said we'd see what happens when we were both back for Christmas break.

The last real conversation that I had with him was the night before he left for college. Almost two years ago.

I loved him. I loved him a lot and he was my first real love. It wasn't easy to kind of give up the way we did. I guess that I sometimes still wonder if we could have made it. Probably not.

But I missed him. I missed talking to him, having real conversations about things that we both cared about. He was my intellectual equal, my friend before he was ever my boyfriend.

When they came, I was worried he would ... well, be the way he has been for the last two years. That he would make sure not to sit next to me, so that I wouldn't think he was leading me on. Not have any real conversations, nothing personal with me, and just talk about getting drunk and stupid shit that he'd done.

We had real talks. He finally told me about the girlfriend that he started dating a couple of months after we broke up. He's never even said her name in front of me. I saw pictures of Monica and he told me how much he loved her.

And I was happy for him. Really happy for him.

I can't say that I don't still love him. I don't think you ever get over your first love completely. But I'm not in love with him anymore. I'm just glad to have my friend back.

As per prior invitation from Austen, Saturday was the day of descending like curious monkeys upon G-Fest 2000, a three-day convention dedicating to Godzilla- and other such Japanese giant monsters. I'm not a fan, but it's summer and anything goes. This involved waking at the godforsaken hour of 8 AM, but sacrifices must be made for friendship. I was introduced to Austen's friends from college, Alyissa and Ben.

There was a strange dynamic between them - they were boyfriend/girlfriend with an open relationship, and one of Alyissa's flings was at the con. As far as I could tell, Ben didn't pursue other women. Ouch. You imagine the toxicity of such, I'll pass. His lack of reaction towards Alyissa's flirting with other men surprised me, but I imagine he's had practice. She does seem to care for him though... Perhaps a good personal warning for future relationships, but on the other hand women want me when I'm taken. They were pleasant enough, tho the oil-water friend problem was there in slight amounts.

We took the subway to the con's hotel - making me one of the few people ever to be helped by the Los Angeles subway system. Entrance was expensive and they forced us to put our real names on the tags. On the other hand, I snagged some coloring pictures - super-deformed Mothra's too kawaii. After meeting up with Branden, we somehow ended up at The Evolution of Godzilla - an hour-long lecture on the different suits used throughout his film career. The sociological lessons taught by the fans' obsessive interest paid to the number of toes in each movie was more interesting than the lecture, and I ended up falling asleep and waking near the end. As could be expected, the majority of G-fans were male. Many were young, and some tolerant-faced parents were in tow. The discussion about which suit was best was great, seeing Japanese phrases being casually tossed between portly 40 year olds and hyperactive preteens. On the whole they seemed very balanced for fans, especially when I compare it to a friend's horror story about anime otaku at a con. Brr.

Food was procured from Hamburger Hamlet, and non-LA people gawked at the stars in the sidewalk while LA people tried not to look embarrassed. The billboard of Angelyne was of course a hit.

We returned to the con for an interview with the director of the Gamera movies. Painful - by the time the long questions were asked, translated into Japanese, answered, and translated back into poor English, we had forgotten the question, making the hard to hear answer an exercise in surrealism. We gave up and fled to the movie room, where Cowboy Bebop was playing in defiance of the schedule. Everyone enjoyed it, and I was reminded of why Yoko Kanno is a musical god.

We once again fled the con to find birthday gifts at a film book store, revealing much fun on the way. There was a Scientology business with staffers asking people if they wanted a personality and IQ test. Mocking ensued, and I took off running screaming "Xenu!" at the top of my lungs. Austen hit me in the arm, asking me if I wanted to be shot by a crazy Scientologist. The assorted Asian tourists, leather-clad clubsters and FUBU funders were amused and amused me in return. The film store surprised me with its academic essays on sadomasochistic erotic horror movies, bad '80s TV show books and John Wayne paper dolls. If it exists, someone's written crap about it.

Present in tow, we returned for the video contest. The first was stop-action and pretty long. The second was by Evan, a friend of Austen's friends and one of the few there I'd call a monster otaku. Slightly obsessive behavior and strange social skills, a slight lack of personal hygiene... It was his dream about Giant Japanese Monster University, with Ben, Alyissa and others playing students. Strange. Then there was a hellishly complicated CG sequence. The last one was an amateur movie of Godzilla duking it out, rubbery suits, exploding buildings and everything. The winner was a claymation titled "Destroy All Annoyances", featuring Godzilla crushing Teletubbies, Pikachu, and Barney. Cute, but it fails the art test - who's going to like it in 10 years? Pah. This was followed by the costume contest - only three contestants, but the two serious ones were amazingly detailed.

By that time the others were pretty sick of Godzilla. The day was ended by a run at the dealers upstairs. X-Files posters for the girls, only Masamune Shirow posters for me, since the booth with awesome Giant Robot T-shirts didn't take cards. And so was the convention - we missed out on all the films at the nearby theater. I'll live.

Soft, blind, between a wet place and a hard place
Today was full of phone calls and emails and dreadfully lonely. Well, no, that was the end: it started off good, with a warm bed, then my semi-brother coming by for breakfast. I learned that i can be somewhat fun, funny even, in real life - given a friendly situation. It's easy to forget, given that i work, then see no one but my housemates, who have their own lives. But i had them laughing, and the conversation rolled easily off our tongues. Then all the people evaporated.

The rain started not too late in the evening, as i was making a dinner for myself. I was thinking of a movie i had to rent (recommended by P_I) and walking in the rain to get it, and also of my ex-boyfriend, who was probably lonelier than i, and whose happiness was always so fragile and distant, but moreso now. I wanted to call, but knew there would be nothing to say, and my voice would turn hard too quickly. It's not something i can control, anymore. It's part of my new urge for self-preservation. But: he called me. And i was glad to hear him.

Except - that everything was terrible. The problems were far too big for me to solve, and they were/were not my fault. The void that held him reached out and threatened me over the phone. I could hear the city streets below him, and music coming from the windows, and the tears. I turned up the volume to hear what he was saying, and the cacophony only became more intrusive.

When i hung up, i was tight with tears and wanted to hurt something. How unfair that this life, this disease should happen to someone so beautiful. How unfair that his gifts are held back from the world. I can only hope that my desperate resolve will trigger him to help himself. How unfair, how unfair. Maybe there is no reason at all. Maybe there is only will.

I call a precious friend and discuss, try to process what has been said tonight. Inbetween my brother calls and i tell him i will call back. He's all alone at his house, and undoubtedly lonely himself.

When i hang up, i decide to go find that movie. Ought to be nothing like a good eastern european flick to assuage my angst! It's pouring outside, and my concession to the weather is a baseball cap, so i don't have to squint. The guys at the video store remember my name, though i haven't rented there since well before Dan left, and ask how i've been. The movie i'm looking for is there, but someone else has rented it. Oh well.

On the way home, as i get nearer to the underpass where the train tracks go over the road (like a string holding down Northampton, which is a flighty town), i see something small running across the sidewalk. Under the bridge, there is a stone wall on one side, and a three-foot drop to the street on the other ... and a small animal scurrying across, lost, scared. I run to see.. it doesn't look like a mouse. It's a mole, with nowhere to dig.

As i come near it, it runs to the curb, and i lose sight of it. I look over the railing and see it fighting the river that is running along the street below. There's no diggable earth for a long way, and it's almost over its head. So i swing down to the street, and give it something to crawl into, in the form of my hat. Then i close up the hat-bundle, feeling the frantic oh-no! that was a mistake! struggle from inside, and go to look for any kind of unpaved turf.

When I emerge from the alley, my hat in my hand and a smile on my face, soaking, the guy passing gives me a strange look. And yeah- how could i explain? My best part of today has been the rescue of a mole from the street.

There might be something to be said at this point for simple pleasures. Or simple minds. I really enjoyed being wet and walking, a wet, recently-vacated hat on my head; and when i called my brother back in California, he listened to the sound of the downpour in envy.

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