The night is taking all juice out of me.

It's apparently one of those nights.

We had some fun randomnesses with a friend of mine, I downloaded tons of pictures, and now I'm having a problem. I saw million copies of program called "psm" in the process list.

I was seeing things. I quitted Mozilla and found out I had a lot more of memory left...

Well, time to upload this 4.6 meg image .zip file to my friend's net drive...

...unless the PSMs attack again...


Weird glitch. Mozilla crashed, I restarted, pushed my E2 shortcut... and got frontpage. Wrong theme, thought I. It thought I was called AutonomousNetwork, not WWWWolf. When I got to other pages, it seemed okay again.

Yep, weird.



Yep, the above one was a web cache problem. kaatunut and I seem to use the same cache server...


Downloaded Linux 2.4.0. The Vapor Finally Condenses and shall Soak, yes, you heard it, SOAK the infidels. =)

Now compiling it. BBL...


...WindowDamager (ashes to ashes, dust to dust) jammed before I had chance to send any interesting comments...

I don't know what's wrong. I'm just shaken. This day has been spent doing less glorious shit; Last night was fairly Late, so I wake up at 10, and since that I've done

  1. Slashdot (Unusual amount of comments posted... I think I've posted more comments this year than I did last year =)
  2. K5 (Interesting stuff up recently)
  3. Written mail for my friend
  4. Been drugged with coffee =)

Maybe I should node about this maze generation algorithm of mine...

Awww hell, I can't even think straight. BBL. I think I'll watch news now. =)


My project is moving to SourceForge REALLY slowly.

Today, pleasant surprise: I was able to SSH there. Then the bad surprise: I looked quickly and I thought I had r-x access to the project directory and guess what it is?


Owner (some user with no name, just UID) can write and execute the directory; group (schedulist) can do nothing, others can read and execute.

I would like to ask an academic question:

"What the hell?"

Other day logs o' mine...

Noded today by y.t.: It's Coming! Zed ShowDowN PrO

Updated: Jack T. Chick Tracts

The sky is red today.

A wildfire is burning out of control in nearby Alpine. (They always say this on the news. Is there any other kind of wildfire? If it were under control, wouldn't it be a tamefire?) The sunlight filters through a layer of reddish-brown smoke, giving everything below a pinkish cast. When I sat outside on the terrace to have my lunch, tiny flakes of ash drifted down out of the sky onto me, my food, and the book I was reading.

My car is still dead (now I have battery problems). The New Year's party I attended wasn't all that exciting. I want to play DragonRealms but my credit card is maxed out. On the other hand, most things that really matter are good so I'm happy.

Watched A Simple Plan today. Definitely doesn't deserve the 7.7 it has on IMDB. Egad, it's even in the top 250. It was ok, as long as you ignored the plot holes. I don't know...

Whilst reading the Onion about a week ago I finally found out who sings that song in the VW commercial. Thanks to Napster I've been listening to a lot of Nick Drake. If you've seen the commercial and wondered for a second who it was, go ahead and download a bunch of stuff. It's the first time in I don't know how long I've found something new and interesting. In contrast go look at the Grammy nominations. Ack.

It took me a while, but I finally came up with a New Year's resolution today. Here it is:

When I act like a bitch, I'm going to start enjoying it.

That is all.

got good news at work yesterday. drank lots after work with the crew. went home at around 9:00pm, called the Man then slept -- peacefully, soundly, and dreaming of warm cuddly nakedness.

it's snowing! the weather men say this will pass quickly but it's been coming down pretty thick for some time now. there's probably already an inch out there, and it shows no sign of stopping. i love it. since the Man is out of town, i don't need to worry about travelling the beltway in shitty weather.

this weekend should be relaxing. i haven't had a weekend all to myself for too long. i've either been working, at my mom's house, or having guests from out of town. not that those things weren't fun... but it's nice to have some ME time. ME ME ME ME ME time.

seems like there aren't very many people here today... some of them are probably sleeping off hangovers, and some are probably using the snow as an excuse. either way, it's quiet here. i like it that way.
more later...
8:40am EST
My mom sits with me as I have a coconut tart for breakfast. She tells me that last night while washing the dishes, she mistakenly put one of the leftover sausages I had for dinner into the sink with the dish. We crack-up laughing.

9:00am EST
Argh! Traffic is crazy as hell. Of course one car was on the side in the snowbank and everyone stopped to take a look, thus clogging the 407 with their curiosity. I hate it when that happens. It wastes so much of my time.

10:06am EST
Back to work stress! Next week will be quite busy for certain.PLANS PLANS PLANS are what I need to do. COORDINATE with clients for usability evaluations. FUN!

10:16am EST
After talking with my colleague down at Stamford, I've realized that there exists work politics! I've known it before, but I didn't know to what extent it existed. Even for usability of software products, there needs to be some convincing before action can take place. What a SLOW and CUMBERSOME process.

11:15am EST
AAAAAHHHHHH!! This day is going too fast! Oh wait...

back | days | forth

And so, I ponder...

Why does January happen to be my time for change and renewal? Several times now, I have had major life changing events happen during January; Moving town and school when I was seven, leaving college to work when I was seventeen, my nasty road accident when I was nineteen and getting a good job when I was 22. So many things to happen in a young life; things that make people coo and say "That's interesting" when in fact they were harrowing experiences.

Add another to the list then: I announced my engagement to the gorgeous, beautiful, enchanting katyana two months ago. Now I intend to emigrate from the UK to the US, to live with her. I am selling my house, taking my money and scooting across the pond to sunny (hah!) Ann Arbor, Michigan. I have already set things in motion; my house will be sold soon, and I need to decide what to take with me. I haven't resigned from Sony yet, nor have I told my Mother (which should be interesting)

I have a lot of things to do; my dizzy daze, within which I have stumbled for the past decade, must be cast aside. Possibilities and worries mean I have to do a little growing up now, and about time too as my Mother is bound to say.

So, yesh - I am leaving the UK. I'm not leaving just yet, and I will return, but certainly not for some time.

In other news: Today I said goodbye to my fiancee, Katyana. The stupid, thoughtless Heathrow terminal four will not allow you into the departure area without a boarding pass. This means that if you are saying a tearful goodbye to a loved one, you have to do it in the middle of a stream of manic, tired, grumpy travellers wielding luggage trolleys of death. You can't snuggle on the chairs by the departure gate, nor can you sit and make googly eyes at each other whilst sipping big coffees. Don't BAA realise that a large majority of goodbyes are heart-wrenching soul-emptying traumas? The kind of things that need a little privacy? They should at least provide booths with lockable doors, and maybe big bouncy double beds as well.

But I digress. blush

I kind of walked aimlessly around the arrivals area of terminal four after saying goodbye. The free coffee from starbucks didn't impress, and watching the happy reunions of parents and children, lovers and friends just made me want to cry. So I walked out to the bus stands, buy my bus/train ticket home after almost getting knocked down by a car and a bus.

And what did I listen to on the way home? Heather Nova; songs about longing, missing, and love. Truly, I am a masochist.

I was going to get out of bed this morning when the love of my life left for work and leave shortly thereafter so I could make it in to my job early and hit a 12:30 Kickboxing class at Bally's. Har! I zonked right back out the minute he walked out the door. Another day started out with my classic failure.

Daisy had left me a voicemail at work. Needless to say, I didn't call her back, though she had also called twice yesterday. I made sure to at least write down the cellphone number. I figured I should at least be courteous even though I was still angry at her. Luckily for her, she got a hold of me around 2:30ish, and began to apologize profusely. She had suspected I was mad at her for being selfish, inconsiderate, dismissive, and all that good stuff. After grumbling a bit, of course I was going to accept her apology. She wanted to go sex toy shopping before she headed back to New Mexico, so we're off to do that this evening and perhaps do dinner and spend some time catching up. Alas, her flight is tomorrow so I probably won't get to snuggle with her tonight. It's for the best, I suppose.

After I spoke to Daisy, I called my newest male lover. Unexpectedly (though I should have seen it coming), he mentioned that his primary girlfriend is still uncertain of me because of a prior bad experience and that they agreed that he and I should take a step back and be friends, not lovers. I probably should have seen it coming, but I was in shock. Ouch. Of course, I still have him as a friend and we can still snuggle and kiss a bit, but I think I'm going to feel awkward around her. I'm quiet with her to begin with because I am shy, to a certain extent, but I tend to take a step back when I'm with both of them in general because their relationship does come first, and I don't want to wedge my way in, I want to be accepted.

The situation has been a dash complicated from the start since I'm not attracted to his girlfriend, and not interested in them as a couple...just him. She and I do get along and have simliar values, beliefs and drives, but that might not be enough to get me in the door. *sigh* I like him a lot, and I also tend to be a fairly physical person. Limits suck. The possibility that she may not ever be comfortable with me as a secondary lover to him really worries me.

I'm actually working on my resume, and my cubemate Erika is compiling a list of temp agencies. We're both out of jobs next Friday, though she's gonna be away at an actor's training and mass audition event in LA inbetween ending this one and finding something else. I'm inclined to try temping at night. We'll see what happens.

My T-shirt today says "Hooters Girls Dig Me" and I find I have the balls to ask the question that shouldn't be asked: What else could possibly happen to top this day off?

I have heard about this place and it took me a long time to find it. There seems to be alot of stuff for new people to read almost too much to digest. I enjoy reading alot of the writings here there are alot of good writers. I am hoping it will help me with my english. If anybody can give me some hints for lasting here I would appreciate it. Thank you for reading this. I am glad I found everything2.


Tomorrow's the big day. My first real date. I spent most of the day with a fair level of anxiety. By now though, I'm starting to feel like there's nothing to worry about. Everything's going to go fine.

I bought our tickets for both the movie and the circus. I'm almost broke; I have a credit card though :) I actually got a call from the credit card company today to verify that I've been making unusual charges to my card. I haven't used it in a year, and suddenly I am using it three times in one day. I guess their paranoia is justified.

I picked up a book on dating just so I can get some last minute advice on all of the little things that nobody ever mentions (speak audibly, make eye contact, say her name, etc). Tomorrow, I need to get some cash, pick up some cologne, and get her a flower. Then I'm all set. I have until 2pm, so that should be plenty of time.

I'm now going to go distract myself for a while before I get all anxious again :)


I didn't have very much luck distracting myself. I hung out on IRC, paced around my apartment, sat down, cleaned up stuff, read some magazines, and I still feel anxious. Oh well. It's getting late and now I must attempt sleep. I give myself an hour and if I'm not asleep by then, it will be time for some Unisom.

I was down to the last 50¢ on my MetroCard, so even though the 6 train was just arriving as I got to the subway stand after work, I had to skip it to refill my card. So I waited for the next train; it turned out to be one of the brand-new ones, a contrast to the train I missed, which was one of the older models in the system (I think they're called Redbirds).

I'd seen the new trains being tested, throughout the summer and fall, on the test tracks of the 5 line, above 180th Street, and looked forward to actually riding them, since the city had graciously proposed to replace the oldest-of-the-fleet cars that most riders of the 5 and 6 must endure on a daily basis. But it seemed like it would take forever for the new ones to graduate from the test tracks.

One night, as I took the grueling ride from the East Village to the North Bronx, necessitating dealing with several transfers (the L to the 4 to another 4, due to construction, to the 2, to the shuttle at 180th that covers the last few stops in the absence of the 5, which doesn't run late at night) and long waits for each transfer, a set of the shiny new cars rode in, empty, and pulled to a stop at 149th Street, where I was waiting. It was on the downtown tracks, so we northbound huddled masses could only stand and watch; there were mainly subway maintenance people and a few civilians (plus this one guy) on the downtown platform. The doors opened, but they were the doors that faced away from the platform -- you couldn't board it unless you jumped down on the tracks and climbed up into the cars. Then the booming pre-recorded voice of Bloomberg's Charlie Pellett encouraged us to Please stand clear of the closing doors!, the doors closed, and the empty train was off, to the laughter of the testers and the maintenance crew. Those of us on the other side, waiting forever for our train to show up, were too tired to be amused.

So I got to ride in one of the new cars today. It was clean and brightly lit; we'll see how long that lasts. The ride was a little smoother. But the most excellent parts were the PA and the LCD displays -- the displays tell you what train you're on (e.g. "6 TO BROOKLYN BRIDGE"), what the next stop is ("NEXT STOP BLEECKER ST"), and what time it is. The PA is all pre-recorded, and, more importantly, audible; many of the older cars have non-functioning or barely-functioning audio -- if you know where you're going, maybe it isn't a big deal if you can't hear the conductor's regular announcements, but missing the special announcements can be either a trivial matter, like when the impending final score of game one of the World Series was given over the PA; all I could understand was the inning (the 13th?) and that one team had pulled ahead. You can also miss more-important announcements, like the occasional rerouting of the 5 train to the west-side 2 line (only the exodus of those grumbling riders who were able to hear the message can provide a clue), or the skipping of certain local stops by the 6.

I presume the conductor will still make those special announcements, but the routine calls are now prerecorded -- the aforementioned Mr. Pellett handles the closing of the doors, while a woman's voice, not unlike what you'd hear on a phone menu ("If you wish to place a collect call, press 1..."), handles the rest: This is Spring Street. Next stop, Bleecker Street.; I'm not sure how the locations are triggered -- if a train is suddenly rerouted, will the Menu Lady call out the right information? And already there's a bug...

Menu Lady: This is the Number 6 to Brooklyn Bridge. Next stop...
Pellett: Please stand clear of the closing doors!

It still needs some work. And after riding the shiny new train for a few minutes, I was returned to the regular sights and sounds of the subway -- parts of the Canal Street station, eternally under construction, look like some rundown, abandoned subway station you might see in some dystopian B-movie about NYC; the presence of what looked like fresh blood on one of the many steps I have to climb took me even further away from all things shiny and new.

I discovered Napster this week, too late in the game, perhaps. My rationalization, if one is needed, is that I own much of the material I'm downloading, except I have it on vinyl, rather than CD; I stocked up on some Gentle Giant and Muhal Richard Abrams, et al. It's like home taping, really -- something no-one apologized for back in the day, and actually a good form of try-before-you-buy, which worked for me, back in the aforementioned day, though my purchases, then as now, have tended to be from indie labels or the obscure back-catalog of The Cartel, rather than a dozen Kid Britney Rockin'sync'inem CDs to go (Do you want fries with that?). The only CD I have that's remotely "now" and "popular" is the newest one from God's Peed, which I'll bring to the annual company shroom picnic next week**. But I digress.


**If such a thing existed.

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