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And so, I ponder...
Why does January happen to be my time for change and renewal? Several times now, I have had major life changing events happen during January; Moving town and school when I was seven, leaving college to work when I was seventeen, my nasty road accident when I was nineteen and getting a good job when I was 22. So many things to happen in a young life; things that make people coo and say "That's interesting" when in fact they were harrowing experiences.
Add another to the list then: I announced my engagement to the gorgeous, beautiful, enchanting katyana two months ago. Now I intend to emigrate from the UK to the US, to live with her. I am selling my house, taking my money and scooting across the pond to sunny (hah!) Ann Arbor, Michigan. I have already set things in motion; my house will be sold soon, and I need to decide what to take with me. I haven't resigned from Sony yet, nor have I told my Mother (which should be interesting)
I have a lot of things to do; my dizzy daze, within which I have stumbled for the past decade, must be cast aside. Possibilities and worries mean I have to do a little growing up now, and about time too as my Mother is bound to say.
So, yesh - I am leaving the UK. I'm not leaving just yet, and I will return, but certainly not for some time.
In other news: Today I said goodbye to my fiancee, Katyana. The stupid, thoughtless Heathrow terminal four will not allow you into the departure area without a boarding pass. This means that if you are saying a tearful goodbye to a loved one, you have to do it in the middle of a stream of manic, tired, grumpy travellers wielding luggage trolleys of death. You can't snuggle on the chairs by the departure gate, nor can you sit and make googly eyes at each other whilst sipping big coffees. Don't BAA realise that a large majority of goodbyes are heart-wrenching soul-emptying traumas? The kind of things that need a little privacy? They should at least provide booths with lockable doors, and maybe big bouncy double beds as well.
But I digress. blush
I kind of walked aimlessly around the arrivals area of terminal four after saying goodbye. The free coffee from starbucks didn't impress, and watching the happy reunions of parents and children, lovers and friends just made me want to cry. So I walked out to the bus stands, buy my bus/train ticket home after almost getting knocked down by a car and a bus.
And what did I listen to on the way home? Heather Nova; songs about longing, missing, and love. Truly, I am a masochist.