Today I worked, and I feel good about it. Accomplish
ing something that other people will recognize is always a reason to feel good about yourself.
I got up at about 10 (I wasn't able to fall asleep until about 4) and made my way to the university by 11:30. Ya see, the honors lounge just got 7 new computers. Being on the computer committee, I'm helping set them up.
As I was setting them up, no one else was in the lounge but Ryan. Ryan's like a kid. He hasn't really matured all that much, compared to my other friends. Sometimes it can be enduring, like when he maked a fort out of empty computer boxes, but other times it can be annoying as hell, like the time he put me in a headlock as I was minding my own business.
Most of the day he sits in the lounge and plays MUDs. He seemed to be glad that I was there, glad to have someone to interact with in the physical space. However, I wasn't there to interact, I was there to work. I continually listened to his substanceless comments.. it seemed like he wanted attention. Not that that's a bad thing, after all, one reason most of us talk to our friends is to receive attention. The thing was, everything he said was substanceless. I wouldn't mind having a conversation with him, but I didn't want to initiate one.. and I just couldn't respond to his substanceless remarks (Such as singing some song that goes "I want to be a movie star" and asking if I wanted to be a movie star.) I must have seemed a bit despondant..
Matt asked me to see Moulin Rouge (damnit people, the "in" vowel sound is NASAL) with him and some friends. I told him I wasn't really interested in the show as I'm not a big fan of musicals, so I wouldn't go. After the show, he keeps pressing the issue, telling me that I should have gone. I tell him that it's just not my thing, and he makes a comment; something about yet another one of my dislikes that I don't have any reasons to dislike.
Ya see, he is referring to my unwillingness to play dungeons and dragons (or any pen and paper role playing game). These RPGs are his favorite hobby, and he seems to take insult to the fact that I do not want to play with him. Even more, it bothers him so much he is constantly asking me to defend my preferences. To justify why I won't play. I've told him that I have tried before and I just didn't like it, that's all.
In repsonse to his comment I tell him "Believe it or not, I do have prefrences. Why don't I eat mayo on my burgers? Because I don't like it. And that's that." He seemed taken aback, and told me that "He's not critizing me.. yet." AArgh. I am not 100% like you. Deal.
Well, after getting some work done, I came home tired, the first time in a long time. I realize that Katie must have felt this 1000x worse when she was working her ass off for her passion. All in all it felt good. Later.
Through the cracks in the wall
Slow motion for all
Dripped out of the bars
Someone smart said nothing at all
I'm watching T.V.
I guess that’s a solution
They gave me a receipt that said I didn't buy nothing
So rust is a fire and our blood oxidizes
My eyes rolled around, all around on the carpet
Oh hit the deck, It's the decal man
Standing upside down and talking out of his pants
-Modest Mouse, A Different City