I'm #1! I'm #1! I'm #1! Sorry, I couldn't resist ;)

Today marks the end of a rather interesting week. You may wonder "what's so interesting about it?". Well, when was the last time YOU had to go a week without the internet?

I was recently screwed over by my local phone service (that being AT&T). It seems that South Western Bell was allowed to alot some new home owner MY phone number. For the past week, anyone calling me got to talk to "Mike". This would normally be no big deal, I'd call Mike and the phone companies and ask him to change numbers right?


It seems Mikey here didn't WANT to change his number. In the five days he'd had it he'd already given it to everyone, including his "hot date" for Friday which I don't give a shit about. It didn't occur to Mike that I'd had the number for 14 YEARS and it would be a BIT harder to tell everyone that knew my number about the change, should I have to make it.

Eventually (about noon yesterday) Mike caved, and I am now back on my crappy 56k connection and checking my 300+ emails (75% pr0n add, thank you SO fucking much Hotmail. Would any solicitor that DOESN'T know my email address please raise your hand?... I thought not...) and rejoining the Everything continuum this lovely evening.

*Fires up a stogie* It's good to be back...

She wrote me.

She is going to be home in October.

For only about a week...

How will I know if I love her in a week. If she is smart enough and nice enough and beautiful enough and funny enough and sexy enough and cool enough.....


How will I know in a week, a week in which she will be visiting her family and going to a wedding and doing stuff she hasn't done in 11 months.

I want to be in love already.

5:45 MDT: Well, woke up today thinking about a girl. I like it when that happens. Well, except this time. I guess it's pretty bad to wake up thinking about a girl other than my girlfriend. *sigh*. (I will always remember my 19th birthday) I've been expecting my four-year long current relationship to be ending soon, and it appears I'm already trying to get another relationship lined up. This is not like me at all. Oh, wait, the other girl that I woke up this morning thinking about is a lesbian who lives three thousand kilometers away. I guess that is like me after all. Anything I can't have (because she's, say, a lesbian, or far away, or I already have a relationship), I want. If you want to see a picture of the object of my desires, go to http://files.moo.ca/3/2/4/7/image13.jpg. It's a little dark, but that's her sitting on top of a table in front of me. A year ago, when I knew she was good looking and fun, but I wasn't infactuated with her Like I am now. The reason I woke up this morning thinking about her is because last night I told her all of this. She thanked me. Which is 'good', you know, but doesn't really do anything productive. Doesn't explain how she feels, doesn't.. nothing. But, hey, she's a lesbian, right? so what's the point anyways.

7:55 MDT: I've been working since 6:30 without seeing her again. *sigh*. I want to talk to her.

9:12 MDT: Ew. I have like a month and a half of back-logged time sheets to fill out. I hate trying to account for my time. I don't even remember what happened yesterday.

10:09 MDT: Finally done timesheets. Phew. At least it's not as bad as poor Crista, who had 4 months of undone time sheets. And that was /before/ she fell ill for three months. She should be back soon, and she'll have lots of time to fill in. Sick day, sick day, sick day, sick day, sick day...

1:13 MDT: Well, lunch is passed. Not an incredible amount of work done since the last entry. Helped a co-worker with some printing problems. He wants to use MFC to print, in one framework call, both portrait and landscape pages. Well, we came up with a solution, but it proved to be infeasible for today's limited computers. Apparently we can't allocate a half gig of memory, twice, instantly. Darn. The girl I was thinking about this morning is now around, and I've been talking to her a bit, but not a whole lot. I guess things haven't changed much, even though I told her how attracted to her I was. Well, that's good, I guess. :)

8:20 MDT: Nothing much new. Talked to the girl for a little bit, but got nothing else accomplished. Did little programming. Noded Heart vs. Mind. I am beginning to get bored of waiting to talk to her again, so I will probably just go to bed soon. Oh, right. I went to see a townhouse that me and a friend are thinking of purchasing. Well, we're looking for someplace to live, and it is relatively cheap and I like it. We may take a look around a bit more, but we both like the place. It even has a nice little dedicated server room, although nobody but us knows it yet. ;)

Things accomplished on August 3, 2001
met catherine for lunch
packed and went away for the weekend
checked up on my application for teh job in Edinburgh

Things not accomplished:
didn't buy new underware, just washed some old ones. didn't send cv out to people, my crappy internet email wouldn't allow me to attach a large file.

Things to do today:

fill in application form for job in Edinburgh paper and online, fax the paper form. (need to do this at lunch time)
(they didn't recieve the online aplpication, is it because I am behind a firewall ?)
email the following people: Claire, Belinda, emma, Bernard, Fergus, ryano, Berent, rob, tracy and try to clear 20 - 40 emails from my inbox.
Decide where I am going this coming weekend, attempt to organise a lift.
Send my CV in text format to the people on Owens list. (I have had enough of formattet files, they suck
Try to play with foxpro files using the ODBC interface in Python.

Yesterday I went to work as usual, emailed the girl I met at the weekend, got in this morning and founda reply. She lives in another city but seems keen to see me again, yay!. I shall proabably not see her for about a fortnight when we may go hiking with some other people, the prospect is very pleaseing.

After work I went to the UCD climbing wall, trained for about three hours, I am beginning to get some nice finger strength together. There were not that many people at the wall last night. All in all a pretty boring day, I didn't give much time for contemplation.

Went home to bed, ate instant noodles and toast and went to sleep.

update : 18:26 Well so far I have manged to fax my cv to edinburgh, yay! I got an email from the people saying that it is likley that I may get an interview irrespective of whether or not they get my application as they all remember me from the internship I did with them back in 1997.
I managed to email my CV to 7 recuitment people in Dublin, have to see what they say tommorrow !
and Claire has invited me down to Cork this coming weekend


, now i've not made up my mind whether i will go or not but i think there is a definite chance that I might end up in that neck of hte world, lets see how the weather and my strength of willpower hold up (umm I won't be taking bets on this one).
I emaied everyone I said I would, emma's email address didn't work and I couldn't find bernards. I have yet to mail rob, I might leave that until tommorrow.
I am waiting fro my friend to install mandrake on his machine so that I can install MySQL, then I get to try to play with the foxpro files. Wow, having two jobs really keeps you busy, I wonder if I am going to get paid for ny of this work, at least I get to code for some of the day, it makes up for the sould destroying work that is data entry I
I've started having the exhaggerated phobic reactions again.

Most notable among them is sphexophobia - fear of wasps. I hate wasps. I loath wasps. I can pretty much handle bees as long as they don't land on me, but wasps have to stay on the outside of a twenty metre exclusion zone. They're just soooo malicious, among insects. The whole not dying when it stings thing bugs me (no pun intended).

I was getting a bus into town yesterday and there was a wasp trapped inside, butting it's head against the window like an old-fashioned Millwall supporter. I knew it couldn't have been happy about it. So I stared at it, for 40 minutes, until I could leave. I had to know exactly where it was at all times. Any time it came near me I started feeling the painful thudding, as my heart splashed inside my chest.

I've only ever been stung by a wasp once, and it was after I'd developed this phobia. I'm not even allergic to the sting, so it is truly an irrational fear, and one I have all the time. Just lately though, it's gotten really out of hand.

Add to that feelings of claustrophobia, demophobia, agorophobia and vertigo and I'm a nervous wreck.

Exams are coming.

  • Late Night
  • Mike and I were dropping a few girls off at someone's house. We hopped in the Acura to stop at E-Z Mart(god bless it!) on the way home from a long night of danger and frollick.

    Mike sits in the driver seat.

    Danielle: "What's that on his shoulder?"
    Me: "Mike, there is a big ass beetle on your shoulder.
    Mike: "Ugh. Get it off. God damnit! GET it OFF, man!"

    We thought it was gone...


    Mike shrieks... I look over at him, and his hands are flopping around like a small child. He is slapping at his chest, and swerving the car around the 4-lane road. I lean towards the window, overcome by laughter... I almost died. That bug wasn't to be found... Blech...

    Slap on pigtails and you've got yourself a bona-fide girly-man...! No sexism here.... Nope!

    About 10 years ago, I decided to start growing my hair out.

    Yesterday, It all got cut off.

    Over the next year or so I experienced both Senior year in High School and an awkward hair length that was too long to do anything reasonable with, and too short to do anything reasonable with. Perhaps if I had straight hair instead of this curly hair it would have worked fine.

    After a while, though, the hair grew out long enough to put back in a ponytail or, later, actually wear down. It probably took me a few years to figure out how to wash and condition it (Clue: don't wash long hair every day), to find a shampoo and conditioner that worked really well, and, for that matter, to find somebody to trim my hair that actually understands how long hair works.

    Monday I washed my hair. (conditioned it, combed out the tangles with conditioner still in it, towel dried, put in a leave-in conditioner and kinda finger combed and "crunched" my hair.) When wet it probably reached a little over 2 feet past the bottom of my head; when dry (and curling) it was probably a little under a foot past the bottom of my head; almost always kinda frizzy, too.

    Tuesday I just rinsed my hair. (finger combed and crunching, though) Talked online with my friends; they all warned me that I'd be wanting to grow my hair out again after a while and that short hair is a lot of effort to maintain. Went to the bank, then walked over to the hair salon. I'd made an appointment the previous week for 1pm, and I showed up right on time. Jennifer was running a little late, as usual, so I waited around for a while, determined that I was uninterested in reading Cosmopolitan and instead looked at some of the different male hairstyles in a few different hairstyle books that were there. Nothing both appealed and looked possible with my curly hair. Actually, most of them looked totally stupid. Jennifer finished up with the woman sitting in her chair, they did the money thing and then I went up to the chair, sat down, and as she started with the paper collar and whatnot, I said "I want you to cut it all off." After some discussion, we agreed on a plan of attack, which started with using a rubber band to make a tight ponytail and then cutting it off for prosperity.

    Now my hair is about 3 or 4 inches on top, and shorter than that on the sides and back. A bit of gel and the natural curliness actually looks pretty good. I seem to wake up in the morning with a mad scientist look, though.

    Later on a couple of my friends came over; both seemed to like it. I left my ponytail (about the size of a guinea pig) on the kitchen table (I never realized how many ringlets were going on back there) with a note to my girlfriend "Gone skating with Tyler and Dom, bbl." Then we went skating; went through the hole in the fence at a nearby school. Skated for a while. (I was practicing pushing and kickturns, mostly; had some fun on a wheelchair ramp, too) Some woman that I think might be the principal there (school's not in session yet) came out of her office; I fully expected to get kicked off the school (we were trespassing, afterall); instead she started with "Wow! Cool! Finally there's a girl skating!" and then told us not to crack our skulls open because brains are hard to wash out of the pavement, not to grind her benches, that skateboarding wasn't allowed, that it was pretty much okay with her if we skated there, and "If anybody asks, I told you to leave". This is as close to permission as one can possibly get for trespassing onto a middle school and skating. Went back to my house. My girlfriend had come home in the meantime. She HATES my new hair. My roommate thought I should trim the back shorter, since there's some curl going on back there. At the start of the day I had a full (quarter inch long, neatly trimmed) beard; after getting some second opinions, I shaved off the sides and went back to a goatee; beard makes my face look too wide with this new (lack of) hair.

    I guess I should take a shower and get ready to do things today; I'll get to test out how hard (or easy) maintaining this new hair is. I still haven't gotten over the shock...

    It occurs to me that none of the friends I currently hang out with ever saw me with short hair. The earliest any of them met me was probably about 9.5 years ago, shortly after I'd started growing it out. Nobody will recognize me anymore. I don't keep in contact too much with my high school friends; the one that I do, I see maybe 3 or 4 times a year.

    Post Shower Update:
    My god! This hair is so easy to deal with! I applied a quantity of shampoo so small it didn't make sense and still got all sorts of lather. I shampooed a second time just because it was so fun. I used a teensy bit of conditioner and could actually feel it go all through my hair; I used to have to use so much conditioner it usually almost spilled from my (large) hand and then take forever working it throughout my hair. And afterwards, just fingers and gel...

    I think I need a different hair gel, though; I should go back to the place I got it cut and get some of the same gel Jennifer used on my hair yesterday. The stuff I had some of in the bathroom was really intended more for controlling frizz than for quite the level of control I want now.

    2pm localtime update:
    Went back and got some of the gel she used on me yesterday. I would have bought it right after I got my hair cut, but she advised me to see how it worked over the rest of the day; I might have wanted something stronger. This survived a sweaty (and slightly windy) skating session just fine, so I'll stick with it.

    Wow! After a weeks work I’ve almost completed my new web page! Most of the updates I’ve done in the past I’ve used a cheesy program of some sort to handle the entire HTML. This time I was inspired by a co-worker who has been taking classes for advanced HTML to code the entire page in notepad.

    Looking back at this last week.... I’ve had a blast doing this version of the site. I feel like I’ve accomplished something by forcing myself to learn the basic HTML tags. I also picked up a little bit about DHTML and Java.

    If any one were interested in checking the site out I would love to hear some feed back. I plan to keep a day log for my trip to Tokyo this October on the site. The address is tarias.net/xion. Please check it out if you get a chance and let me know what you think.

    Go me!

    Work is boring today. You can only know so much about Softimage and all things 3D. This is meaningless verbal flow. It happens when I manage to get some Neal, speed chess, and modest mouse all in the same room for a weird ass mental party. I don’t think I like writing poems. Hmm.

    Verbal constro-detection-shock perfections.

    Twice with swords Metaversed on the wireframe render I came down on your slack, violently logical head.

    All a glow in the material downfall we caressed like blind hit men in the war room of some long ago sunken battleship.

    I am seventeen historic battles, all rolled into the flesh of space between my thumb and chain-wrist knuckle guards.

    Pyro maniac Jeet Kun Do.

    Strange tactic to kneel and throw all your weight at a centerline

    too fast and wickedly in the trance of one mind one action one single upward slash.

    Millimeter Radar And girlfriends still in high school if they went to


    And poon large, overbearing ice cream trucks.

    Neuro-linguistic Hyper Modern chess postures.

    I flow like soft coil electric soap. Thrown onto the deck of a gymnasium with painted squares. white and Black. 64 in all.

    Battle stems with pawns on end of fanciful flank blindside

    Till death or hell nuclear sprinting-to-our-doom kamikaze Checkmates.

    Speed slashes on five minute death matches

    Where I pretend that this isn’t Neal’s brilliance. But rather the things I see between old cursing men

    Arguing over back rank force mates

    And endgame virtua crashes.
    Today marked my last visit to my pediatric dentist.

    I have seen this guy since I was two. For the first eight years, I was petrified. For the last ten, I rested in ease with the advances in detistry-related technology. Every year I saw the same nurses, all friendly, even when they had to restrain me when doing fluoride treatments the old-fashioned way. My dentist's hair got whiter and his gut moved in and out like some slow motion slingshot, vibrating with time. His partner's hair grew more copious and longer. I grew up and out and in, new glasses, bangs, bad clothes, less fears, and the hated permanent retainer.

    In the beginning, there was a smaller office in an old office building. The motif was an early 70's brown. The wallpaper had hills and mountains on it that reminded me of shots from "Gorillas In The Midst", all in various shades of brown. There was a Snoopy theme, with a red and yellow border running around the top of the walls. The chairs were old dentist's chairs, isolated, whose sight brought to mind interogation seats or a mad scientist's lab. Snoopy's bright colors clashed with the earthy tones, but no one cared, especially during the torture.

    Back in the day, fluoride treatments were less than no fun at all. They involved braided cords of cotton, large pieces of metal and this nasty lemon flavored liquid. Whther it was sealant or fluoride I don't remember. First they would line the inside of both the upper and lower teeh with cotton, which immediately dried up your mouth. Next, they put two pieces of crescent-shaped metal around the cotton. The metal tasted metallic in a bad way and there was not enough room, I was convinced, for all of this in my mouth. After saturating the cotton with the vile liquid, I had to sit there for three minutes to let it set. You try telling a four year old to breath through her nose during this. I dare you.

    Taking x-rays was another unpleasant expeience involving pieces of hard plastic put behind your teeth while a long-necked mechanical monster breathed heavily in your ear until the nurse returned. But when it was over you were rewarded with stickers, a new toothbrush, small toys, and a good report. I remember overhearing the dentist tell a boy my age why he needed to stop sucking his thumb. The kid's front teeth were already prominently sticking out and he couldn't give a damn who told him what to do. The dentist turned to leave and that thumb immediately returned to it's resting place.

    Then there was The Wolfman. The Wolfman was my dentist's partner. He had a bushy beard varying between dark brown, black, silver, and white, bushy eyebrows, a lot of hair, and a face shaped like you'd suppose the Wolfman's face would have been shaped. Nevermind that he had a kind glint in his eye. This guy was equally or more terrifying than the fluoride treaments. He'd walk around with purpose, glancing about to see what needed to be done. A few years, when my dentist was too busy to check me out at the end, he'd fill in and I'd be a hairsbreadth away from the fangs and the beard.

    Then the practice moved to a new office building with a child-friendly motif (reefs and sea life, complete with two saltwater tanks), bright colors, more space, friendly lights, and natural lights. I spent my time in the waiting room watching the moray eel slowly open his toothless maw and gracefully move about the tank, his stripes creating a moving illusion. The fluoride treaments were kinder on us. Now they involve a styrofoam piece filled with foam flouride in mint, bubblegum, cherry, or fruit punch flavor. X-rays were quicker and the area was more relaxing. The Wolfman shed his fears and became an interesting guy who went on safaris and learned tai chi and was overall and really neat and nice guy. The other patients got smaller and smaller and I felt like Gulliver in Lilliput.

    My career ended with a splendid report stating that I had no cavities, as every other year, my teeth looked great, and my molars were coming in in fine form. With one backwards glance at the eel, I walked out, thrown into the flavorless world of adult dentistry.

    Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.