Phil and Cathy stand talking. Behind Phil at a small distance stand four voices - Compulsion, Paranoia, Violence, and Mother. Each time they speak, they take a step toward and talk a bit louder.
Cathy: I'm glad I got a chance to talk to you alone. I just wanted to thank you for taking me out last night; I had a wonderful time.
Phil opens his mouth to reply. Paranoia interrupts, speaking quietly.
Paranoia: She's lying.
Phil: Yes, it was a fantastic evening. What did you think of the play?
Cathy: I thought that some of the dialogue seemed --
The remainder of Cathy's reply is lost (though her mouth continues to move as though she is still speaking) as Mother speaks.
Mother: You took her out and you didn't bring her home to meet me? Are you ashamed of your own mother?
Compulsion: She's blinked 12 times in the last five seconds.
Paranoia: It's because she's lying. About the play, too, she doesn't know anything about plays. She just wants you to think she's intelligent.
Phil is becoming visibly distraught as the voices continue speaking.
Phil: Yes, yes I... I know what you mean.
Violence: Look at her, so small and frail. You could kill her right here, right now, and nobody would notice.
Compulsion: Two, four, eight, sixteen, thirty-two, sixty-four...
Cathy: You know, I was thinking... What are you doing tonight? I hear there's a great --
Cathy's sentence is lost again.
Mother: Don't you dare make plans for tonight, you know that Uncle Bernie is coming to visit!
Another voice, Libido, joins the four behind Phil.
Libido: Wow, she's really hot for you! Do you see the way she's staring? Hoo, boy!
Compulsion: Thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six... I wish she would quit blinking.
The voices are all crowded around Phil, almost shouting. Cathy's mouth is still moving as she speaks, unheard.
Violence: I can show you how to stab her to make her bleed. See where the shoulder meets the neck...?
Mother: Dinner is at seven. Make sure you're on time, your father hates it when you're late.
All the voices begin speaking at once, shouting to be heard over one another.
Paranoia: Don't listen to anything she's saying! It's all a lie!
Libido: She wants you bad. Skip the date and take her straight home!
Mother: Are you listening to me? Don't ignore me, young man!
Violence: Do it quick, I hate it when they scream.
Compulsion: Two thousand forty-eight! Four thousand ninety-six! Eight thousand one hundred ninety-two!
Phil turns to face the voices.
Phil (angrily): Shut up! All of you, just shut up!
The voices disperse. As they go, Cathy joins them.
Phil (turning to face Cathy): I'm sorry, what were you saying? I got -- (seeing that he is alone) distracted...
Scene ends with Phil alone, looking confused.
A woman is standing in front of a line of men, all of whom are holding signs facedown.
A buzzer sounds. Woman moves to the first man in line. He turns up his sign so the audience can see it. It says "Married."
Married: I'm not interested in a serious relationship, but I'm looking for someone I can have fun with.
A buzzer sounds. Woman moves down the line to the next man. He turns up a sign that says "Abusive."
Abusive: My last girlfriend dumped me and now she won't talk to me. I'm just looking for someone to talk to.
Buzzer. Woman moves on. "Womanizer."
Womanizer: I'm looking for someone who can dance after a few drinks.
Buzzer. Woman on. "Boring."
Boring: I work at the law firm downtown, I'm an accountant. I spend a lot of time working in my garden on the weekends.
Buzzer. Woman moves on. "Stalker."
Stalker: Hey, my name is -- Oh, wow! Imagine meeting you here! It's really nice to see you.
Buzzer. Woman moves on. "Insecure."
Insecure: Hey. Heh, I'm really nervous. Not even sure what I'm doing here, really. I just--
Woman moves on. "Insensitive."
Insensitive: Wow, you're really pretty. I'm surprised you don't already have a date.
Buzzer. Woman moves on to the final man. When he holds up his sign, it is blank. Woman reacts for the first time, holding out her hand as though
offering a handshake.
Woman: Hi... I'm Nancy.
Buzzer. Scene ends.
Many thanks to Jophur