You drift around the internet for awhile. In your journey you stumble across this desolate, empty area. To the south is a small hut, which appears to be the only civilization around for miles.
/south
You move closer to the hut. You can see it's made out of thick, sturdy wood. There is a door in front of you that leads into the hut. To the side is a post with a strange inscription on it.
/examine post
You lean in closer to the post. The inscription seems to be just a group of random symbols and letters:
GM/MU/S/SS/P/ED/H d- s@sh !a c+ u@n/a P+ l E? W++ N K- w M@N/A VMS@N/A PS+ PE Y+ PGP? t- 5? X R tv b++ DI+ D+ G !e h !r y?
Tied to this is a small flag which reads:
Pigeonholes for personality:
myers-briggs type indicator: INFJ (on the border line between J and P, with one percent difference in favour of J)
Enneagram: Type 1: 3 Type 2: 5 Type 3: 4 Type 4: 6 Type 5: 6 Type 6: 4 Type 7: 1 Type 8: 1 Type 9: 6
For no apparent reason you have gained 5 points!
/open door
The door opens easily.
/s
You enter the hut. It's absolutely bare except for a worn mahogany table and a bulletin board which hangs from a dusty wall. A red book lays closed on the table.
/examine board
There appears to be several notes attached to the board with aging pins. You can only make out the words of a few notes- the rest seem completely illegible.
On the subject of poetry:
I have begun writing poetry partly for my own amusement, partly because I can and partly because it's easier than trying to sleep on an idea. What I desire most from it is constructive criticism. Even if it is only to tell me that it's complete drivel.
To all newbies:
It appears that there are certain visitors coming around to these brave plains. Brave souls flying blind in the face of criticism (or crazy men. Not sure which). I leave this message to all such newbies wishing to join the community as a piece of advice and perhaps a warning.
I have formed the opinion that this place has history and set of debates that have been going on for a long time and that anyone mad enough to venture here will be pulled into the fray. This is my warning to you. Be aware of the history of this place. Do not be afraid to ask.
As such I'm trying to formulate a guide to help look into the past. However part of the joy of this quiet corner of the internet is finding these things, stumbling upon them. So instead I should hope to provide clues that will let the eager historian find what they are looking for. Use these as a last resort, as an alternative to actually asking people things.
(Note: If you're wanting to find stuff on your own, don't open the book of my bookmarks)
The clues in no particular order and by no means complete or authoritative:
- -The first w/u: Nate wrote it.
- The Gods Folly: It was an April Fools day joke, honest.
- The McDonald's Beverage Fiasco: Pussy is a euphemism for what?
Earn your ?:Dead. Ask around what "Earn Your Bullshit" meant- Outcast User 1: Say "The Man" with a slight Jamaican accent to find out who this was.
- Outcast User 2: A thief. All signs point to madness.
- A very special game: involves rodents.
- Communal Dreams: We're not in Kansas. At least not yet.
- The Revenge of the People's Pornographer: The man has no style.
/examine book
The book is old and dusty. You can make out the gold lettering if you squint:
Catalogue of the.web.hermit's bookmarks.
/open book
Light pours out of the book, blinding you. You drop it on the floor and it seems to expand into a bright shining hole. You fall forward into the hole and black out.
You awake to find yourself staring at a wall of doors, each with a label detailing their contents.
You have gained twenty points!
Bookmarked Users
- mutant
- jessicapierce
- Sam512
- wertperch
- JohnnyGoodyear
- kurius
- Outer_Real
- Jet-Poop
- Walter
- Jurph
- Halspal
- Lencil
- Hubris
- Retina
- Templeton
- moloch36
- rootbeer277
- White Elephant
- Simpleton
- Demeter
- darl
- GentlemanJim
W/U about Memes
- Meme
- metameme
- memetic engineering
- Memetic Evolution
- memetic warfare
- meme plague
- memetic drift
- The most interesting meme in memetics
- Personality Meme
- Memetic Library
- memetic mutation
- Meme theory
- Meme hijack
- Meme vending
- Retroviral meme
- The Meme Machine
W/U that are so beautiful they make my eyes water
- If we could build things out of concepts, I'd have pants made of lust
- So this one-legged man walks into a bar
- You love these machines. These machines are dead: a love story.
- Scissors that shed their safety
- Somewhere, there's a universe with your name on it, spelled out in consecutive constellations
- Two is company, two and a deity is a crowd
- The crazy things we do to keep ourselves sane
- I'm white, upper-middle-class in the richest country in the world-what need have I for God?
- she named it killer and took it to the beach to play in the sand
- """""'""
- dangling by a string
- Girl smell
- Sunset. Coca-Cola, cookie crumbs, just waking up.
- I sometimes think I am too much
- How to teach cognitive neuroscience to a four year old
- Why bert hid the moon
- How to teach art to a four-year-old
- Bugs go to JayBonci
- Simple methods for conversing with those suffering from death
- The Last Days of Captain Newton
- It's all happy endings and meaningful conversation until someone gets hurt
- The girl wants something harder
- March 9, 2007
- No one can be in two places at once
- Two vignettes from a Greyhound trip
- you have five minutes to admire the beauty in everything and then you die
- Shall I tell you stories of other stars...
- Wet T-shirts and hot summers: a fifteen year old's definition of love
- I don't remember what life was like when I was seven. I like the taste of air. What should I do?
- Rhapsody in Blue
- wind
- That's not love, it's F major
- What people talk about when they can't think of anything to talk about
- Moons is good for eatin
- Playing in the shower with a balloon
- I owe my sanity to the trees
- Even simple things that you think are harmless can be dangerous. Like crayons. Like velvet.
- Yet.
- Nobody writes poetry about science
- The lonely ones will find each other by the heat of their bodies
- the galaxy that may or may not exist between them
- Around nine PM my heart was breaking so I went to bed early to listen to it happen.
- graveyards make me wet
- Sometimes the apathy she saw made her want to curl up and cry
- don't know where he gets his words but I like them
- Examples of the inadequacy of the English Language
- She spent most of the day sleeping in my shirt pocket
- Fill for me a brimming bowl full of stories
Satire and Humour
- Humorous Writings of E2
- Conversation I overheard in the bookstore 5 min before end of my shift
- Wicca is like linux
- Us vs. Them
- Super Mario Brothers: A Literary Criticism
- Humorous Writings of E2
- Everything cheat codes
- Sensei, we've got another lesbian stuck in the goddamn shredder
- The good guys and the bad guys were on the back of the boat...
- What did men do to deserve "I Will Survive"?
- How to avoid holodeck addiction
- Arguments for the perceived impending invasion of Earth by atomic-powered Killbots from Planet X
- Where are those polar bears getting all that Coca-Cola?
- Chinks don't fuck
- Strategic Transcendence on $5 a day
- Just because I'm black doesn't mean I can rap
- The Excellent and Most Lamentable Text Adventure of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark
- A Polymer Wang: My police record and me
- I remember when it was me who made you want to take over the world and enslave humanity
- Is God a Dork?
- Your corporate network and the forces of darkness
- Let's cripple the economy!
- The Evil Overlord list
- Non-intelligent Design
- Everything Quest: the PC Bible
- Under no circumstances park your futuristic spaceship in a futuristic spacestation upside down
- Press the reset button, and everyone is a virgin again
- The avant-garde movement comes to porn
- Are jews the source of all evil?
- Where do butterflies go when it rains?
- Respect your Elders
- Potential dad licks my eyeball
- Pidgey is the best Pokemon
- Doors and windows open, she screams “COME ON, MOTHERFUCKER” at the hurricane
- Brutha's Plan For The White Man
- I don't want the world, I just want your half
- The Amtrak Arcade-Car Ruse
- Tourist children's souls taste better
- The cat is a liberal!
- The cute kitten represents violence and carnage
- If George Bush played Civilization III
- Chunky peanut butter
- An 80 year-old's view on Racism
- Cut and paste writeups
- Uh, are you looking at my joystick to impress her, or are you just an asshole?
- Someone's sprayed graffiti on that hideously ugly piece of public art!
Social Commentry
- HOWTO: Build a lasting peace in the Middle East
- Information War is coming: whose side are you on?
- Fascism
- Noam Chomsky on Private Tyrannies -- Corporations
- How would you like it if they took your subculture and made it a theme night?
- intellectual property
- general semantics
- public education's fatal flaw
- Education has failed
- The Militarization and Privatization of Public Space
- Fascism and Oppression - Know the Signs!
- The Knowledge Militia
- An open letter to Michael Moore
- 1000 Hours Deluxe American Superwar Gold!
- Project for the New American Century
- Waste not, want not
- Join me
- In defense of intellectual property laws
- On being sane in insane places
- The Power of the Powerless
- George Bush doesn't care about black people
- [Separating Science from Pseudoscience (idea)
- I am at Live 8, therefore I am
- British Concentration Camps in South Africa
- A genocide begins with the killing of one man
- Our world will change
- Pet peeves as experience of culture shock
- We're all Borf in the End
- The threat to the Internet is not the government
- Random acts of kindness
- Semi-feudal corporate anarchy
- Have you felt so proud to get at the meaning of poems?
- The Pot and Kettle War
- Deals well with ambiguity: a savagely long writeup about why boys are not like girls and other things
- The Circle Game
- Socialism
- You can do anything you want to, as long as it's not important
- Let's buy Sony
- Aspects of American race relations that may be new to you
- emotional abuse
- we used to be punk
- Bad jokes and the nature of racism
- School Improvement Program
- Vanishing Act
- Men make more money than women
- Gravity Always Wins
- The day I lost all faith in the American government
- To be noble in an average life
- I'm a good teenage kid, not a rebel out to kill
- Welcome to our Modern World, please find yourself a corner.
- Where are all the stupid Americans?
- Men's Rights Movement
- Rape is a silent crime
- I do not fit in; I am not alone
- I used to think that the lives of Jane Austen's characters were shallow and meaningless
Philosophy
- What I do with my philosophy degree
- the tribesman's view on the hypothetical Catholic
- The world breaks everyone
- A programmer with a degree in philosophy
- Why do bad things happen to good people?
- Subud
- Eudaimonia
- Aristotle would have liked Oprah
- A classic Zen tale
- Religiophobia
- My body is a battlefield, and all my breasts ever do is argue about existentialism
- Novum Organum
- There were people on the Titanic who waved away the dessert trolley
- Three Views of the Totalitarian State
- materialism
- The greatest paper ever written
- Asking random people for wisdom
- English Zen
- The battle against Existential Anxiety
- Be Careful What You Study Too Closely
- Agnosticism Unbound
Quotations
- The Role of Unbelievers is to ensure religions are benign
- He who has enough to eat does the hungry not believe
- Man will even get used to the gallows
- God Made Man Because He Loves Stories
- The sad thing is, if you get her you'll be sick of her in a year
Everything 2 Culture
- Everything Commune
- NODE OR DIE! Can you do any less?
- Webster 1913 is a fake
- Everything, Kansas: A Manifesto
- E2 Nutrition Facts
- July 27, 2005
- September 7, 2005
- January 30, 2006
- April Trolls Day
- karma whore
- Editor Log: February 2006
- E2 egged me on
- The Stile Project
Internet Culture
Guides
- The Hacker's Kitchen Guide
- How to run a roleplaying game
- Elevator
- Tips for writing an English teacher approved classic
- Nourishment on a fixed income
- Civil defense for your refrigerator
- The Joy of Pair Bonding
- EverybodysCyclopedia
Science
- Aquatic Ape Theory
- State dependent learning
- How to destroy the Earth
- neurodiversity
- Most pernicious misconception about evolution
- Separating Science from Pseudoscience
Fiction
- It's too bad that Everything has 5205700 errors
- Nephilim: A Brief Tale of Urban Warfare, Part I
- A journey ended begins again
- Ed Stories
- The Difference
- Your heart only beats in 1s and 0s
- Taphophobia
- We control the algorithms for all emotions. We will make your steel city cry
- Weak and desperate from decades of commuting the djinn would barter all for coffee and a friendly ear
Important People
- Douglas Adams
- John Hume
- Arthur Dent's Eulogy for Douglas Adams
- Interview with William Gibson by Mike Rogers
Poetry
- The True-born Englishman
- Poetic justice
- [Who sees the most beautiful stars, the poet or the astronomer?
- I pity a man with no scars
- How to muffle cymbals
- It's been years since we were born
- Schrödinger's Heart
Misc.
- Interactive Fiction
- A Clockwork Orange
- strip club
- Small Gods
- The Crucible
- The mysterious notebook of an (ex-?) angst-ridden teenager
- I am the child with her nose pressed up against the window.
- How robots write poetry
- January 7, 2006
- One decision I now regret
- You can learn a lot about a person by how they act at an Airport
- cold women, kept safe
- You gotta be dead to get your music played here.
- And would you do this thing for me? Land softly, yeah, land softly
- That whole bedroom thing wouldn't have happened if you hadn't tried to explain Quantum Physics
- Things that could be
- Ah, mercury. Sweetest of the transition metals.
- Isubachi's trip to Japan (August 18, 2006)
- He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
- Angel and Devil on the subway
- If you meet a strange, confident woman, she may well be a witch
- The moment you realize how much of your life experience is hopelessly interlaced
- People wouldn't fall in love so often if it were more clearly marked
- Black People Hate Me and They Hate My Glasses
- Not pulling a Graduate
- What makes her so cute?
- I want someone to do cute things for
- TB or Not TB: That is The Question That Foiled Homeland Security
- 9/11 Conspiracy Theories
- Why oh why did the black crayon always die first?
- I've got to get away from all this escapism
- Having the courage to be an absolute nobody
- July 26, 2007
- What it's like to be raided by the FBI
- RimRod's Adventures at McDonald's
- Christmas in Hell
- Effort on behalf of those we love is not work, but prayer disguised
- No less a man
- Giving Head to the Age of Iron
- The sense of the Myth of Santa Claus
- A long talk on the beach that answered nothing
- You've been slowly taking me over for nearly a year, do you know that?
- Why I play russian roulette with five bullets
- my father is crazy