Editor Log: September 27, 2000

September 27, 2000
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O dem bones why have you let loose EDB to wander freely between the nodes? Without warning, without any rational justification, noders vanish within the long tube of its gullet. True, those who flail about, whose pheromones spray the taste of anger or who Chatter vibrates with vulgarity draw its attention and are swallowed. As the saying goes, it is the nail which sticks up which will be hammered down. But the innocent are not safe.

Still, the gel glows with improved health. The glow shimmers over the rippling dimensions of the gel, glimmers on the moist shapes of the nodes and writeups. Surely there is a connection.

Or are we merely looking for connections, like seeing faces in the rippling of the gel?

This is what we wonder as we tend the nodes and noders. Much freegel has been released from where fled users congealed their homenodes. Many nodes are being channeled through the funnel of New Writeups. It is good.

The Crypt destabilizes:

• The Node Linked to All Others by herbapet. Blank wu pointed out by StopTheViolins.
• Books that will induce a Mindfuck wu by Frosty*Jedi. One title, linkless, redundant.
• Noooooooodesheeeeeellllsssss!
• 'splode the node by liha.
• Wus by Demeter, by request:
  • things I find sexy
  • IRC
• CDs that I've purchased because of Napster wu by Kit Lo, by request.
• Adaptive wu by Bantik, by request.
• I ain't got time to bleed wu by method_e, by request.
• The editor-fu of the mighty and feared Lord Brawl offered up the now nodeless E1 fled user anonymous bastard whose homenode read: "Man. Fuck ya'll. Ya'll can suck my big fat dick. Yeah, that's right. Keep suckin'. Beer is good. Heineken is good. Stay on your knees, bitch, you better be suckin'. I'm too drunk to know the difference. So fuck ya'll...." Strangely, I felt no sense of loss.
• Dream Log: August 24, 2000 wy by masukomi. By request.
• crystal magic by fritx. It was at -14.

Nodes Editor-Cooled

Richh: Tell Me Something to Make Me Hate You by Jack Black. What a complete bastard.

Nodes Killed

the one I live for by Inyo. A short response to a long rant that included a disclaimer. When you know it's going to be slammed because it's not a decent writeup and you node it anyways, I don't have much pity.
Electric Lady Land by wirehead and aidan. Mispelled node for the Jimi Hendrix album Electric Ladyland - the poor E1 writeups were cleared away and now the Fantastic Plastic Machine lyrics (mine, incidentally. No dem bones, don't get out the whupping stick! There's no conflict of interest here! I promise!) rest alone.
Things Agthorr wishes he could Cool by Agathorr. Bookmarks. Personal nodelets. Home page. Please use them. This isn't even an issue of "getting to know you" or "These are cool nodes!". And to add insult to injury, it wasn't even being updated. Every node in there was cooled.
The American Maid by ford_prefect. Eew, fanboy drool in two lines of text. I'm wiping this up.
regdoC is Codger backwards by Codger and regdoC. "Haha I cheated!" and its reversed brother. It was a mercy killing.
cholesterol by wageslave and Dekaritae. Bad definitions get slapped down - who's your daddy? Lometa's wasn't too hot either, but at least she's still around.
rimmer - the definition by g_force. Okay, the title sucks. And it's a See Also writeup. He really swings out when it's not even a correct reference. Not that I wouldn't have removed it for the first two, but really...
neopaganism by wageslave. Old definition surpassed.
reincarnation by wageslave. Same case.
relive by wageslave. Ditto.
neurosis by johnny and wageslave. Seeing a trend?
ascii by Racaille, escher and mbm. The Jargon File blows them all out of the water.
On three separate occasions, I gave up my life so others could live. by danlowlite. Incredibly uninspired filling of a nodeshell; it was at -6 when it was terminated with extreme prejudice.
Predecessor by Kalie Ma. E1 defs have a short half-life.
geek girl by ben smith. He wants to find one. We care why? I glared at the rest of the writeups - they're not winners either.
abstinance by toast, ben smith. Mispellings! generosity and lactic.acid have been asked to deal with their writeups as they see fit - one was very decent and the other pointed out the illiterate nature of the node, so I was merciful.
The Dead Kennedys by ben smith and dracopop. Servicable, but overshadowed.

Gods - Node Titles to Edit

happiness is a warm gun. Mr. Pedant says "Capitalize proper nouns!"
electronics hobbyists. Plural doubleplusungood! Singular doubleplusgood!
rimmer - the definition. Cut out the redundancy. If it's not the definition, what the hell is it? Oh, and by the way, it already exists. Oops - can we meld the writeup in somehow? If all else fails, /msg bozon just to move the damn thing in. Update: I have, and am waiting.
kevin mitnick. Apparently, there's duplicate nodes here. Someone didn't check before editing the title, I guess.
male prostitutes. Bobbitize the 's'.

Gods - Nodeshells to Delete

Things Agthorr wishes he could Cool
regdoC is Codger backwards

Thanks to sensei for pointing out herbapet's blatant ripoff of Grolier's entry for Theodore Roosevelt. Herbapet couldn't even be bothered to delete a really awful rendition of the phonetic pronunciation, to wit: "ro'z[sch ]-v[sch ]lt".

Moral of the story: if you actual noding style looks like this -- "A herbapet is a basterdized version of a Chia-pet. Instead of green hair, its red, and spikey, more like [Bart Simpson or Don King than a bowling ball]." -- then you should not even attempt to pass off the work of professional encyclopedists as yours.

Writeup go bye-bye now. Noder verbally spanked.

Right, so this guy, he's got like fourteen other guys with him in a boat, and they pull up on the beach, right? And this guy who's their leader, he's like ripped, really buff. He's just a badass. And so there's this other guy up on a cliff, he's like the watchman, so he comes down and waves a stick at them and says, "Like, who the hell are you? I mean, you look pretty cool, but who the hell are you?" And so the guy, the big guy in the boat, says "We're cool. We're with you, man. We heard about this dude eating you guys. We're here to kick his ass."

And the guy on the beach, with the stick, says: "Whoa! Cool!"

And now to close some accounts from the last few days. I make a habit of logging /msg's that I send.

• Pimplit by Inyo: "A goat-like individual from the Midwest, this person is fond of alcohol, golf, www.ratemypicture.comand the home grown message board. " That's nice, dear. I /msg'd the user yesterday that this would be killed if he didn't request a nuke.

• Damn it feels good to be a gangster by KaZe JoNeS (last seen February 22): "well it does". I'll keep that in mind. TaintedTex has a real writeup in the node now anyway.

• dot product by thedotproduct: "I am the dot product." This was noded on Monday, by a new user; I /msg'd the user suggesting that s/he add some content lest the writeup be flung forcefully into the Place Where Bad Writeups Go. Well, the user's been back and the writeup hasn't changed. So I flung it.

• I once dreamt that I was a c++ program by Man of Zeal: There's some irrelevant and semi-literate chit-chat, followed by: "I dont know how to explain my dream, but it was definatley object oriented." At the time (Sunday), I /msg'd the user with a list of spelling corrections and a request for content. No changes were made. On Tuesday, 0x45 added a writeup which does give me a pretty clear idea of what it might be like to dream about being a computer program -- and an object-oriented one at that. Kids, if you don't know what a thing is, or if you can't or won't tell us anything about it, don't bother saying so. Lots of people don't know lots of things. It's not news that there's one more.

• No officer, I swear I wasn't doing that by schroedinbug: "A commonly used excuse to try to get the cop off of your back. HINT: Never Works!" No hardlinks, no content. Another one who ignores /msg's.

• Farrari by matta (Never seen on E2): "A high end sports car... [yammer yammer] ... John Carmack ... [yammer yammer]". Go home and learn to spell.

• twice! by stain (last seen January 19): "How Knarph likes to do anything."

• secret chemical plants by layton: "funny how those UN inspectors couldn't find them but those obvously smart and very expensive missiles could. sounds like everyone wasn't sharing. what those damn canadian bunnies are really doing underground." -- Which UN inspectors? Which missiles? And you mean "not everyone was sharing", I suspect.

  Listen: E2 is not an IRC channel. If you node something that's meaningless without the day's headlines for context, and you neglect to mention what those headlines were, you might just as well have been rolling your forehead back and forth on the keyboard.

• kill westly crusher by Johnny Carnage: "Spelling in names is usually so subjective. Unfortunatley I have no idea how to correct this. But I still want to Kill Wesley Crusher. " No comment.

• Kill Wesley Crusher by Johnny Carnage: Wesley Crusher seems to be a character on a television show. The user doesn't like the character. He wants to tell us all about that, again and again. I'm leaving the one at Wesley Crusher.

• microsfot by yug_inverse: Tedious anti-Microsoft Slashbottery. Wit? Zero. Wisdom? Zero. Information? Zero. Dead on arrival.

• intollerant by Hollee (Never seen on E2): For somebody who can't spell, it's not an intolerably bad attempt at a definition, but Webster 1913 does it better and spells it right.

• intollerant by Saige (Last seen August 29): "A misspelling of intolerant." Correct! But since the nodeshell is not long for this world, there's no longer a need to disavow the poor dumb brute.

Nodeshells the Last of Which We'd All Be Happy to See: Pimplit, Farrari, twice!, kill westly crusher, Kill Wesley Crusher, microsfot, intollerant