Right, so this guy, he's got like fourteen other guys with him in a boat, and they pull up on the beach, right? And this guy who's their leader, he's like ripped, really buff. He's just a badass. And so there's this other guy up on a cliff, he's like the watchman, so he comes down and waves a stick at them and says, "Like, who the hell are you? I mean, you look pretty cool, but who the hell are you?" And so the guy, the big guy in the boat, says "We're cool. We're with you, man. We heard about this dude eating you guys. We're here to kick his ass."

And the guy on the beach, with the stick, says: "Whoa! Cool!"

And now to close some accounts from the last few days. I make a habit of logging /msg's that I send.

  • Pimplit by Inyo: "A goat-like individual from the Midwest, this person is fond of alcohol, golf, www.ratemypicture.comand the home grown message board. " That's nice, dear. I /msg'd the user yesterday that this would be killed if he didn't request a nuke.

  • Damn it feels good to be a gangster by KaZe JoNeS (last seen February 22): "well it does". I'll keep that in mind. TaintedTex has a real writeup in the node now anyway.

  • dot product by thedotproduct: "I am the dot product." This was noded on Monday, by a new user; I /msg'd the user suggesting that s/he add some content lest the writeup be flung forcefully into the Place Where Bad Writeups Go. Well, the user's been back and the writeup hasn't changed. So I flung it.

  • I once dreamt that I was a c++ program by Man of Zeal: There's some irrelevant and semi-literate chit-chat, followed by: "I dont know how to explain my dream, but it was definatley object oriented." At the time (Sunday), I /msg'd the user with a list of spelling corrections and a request for content. No changes were made. On Tuesday, 0x45 added a writeup which does give me a pretty clear idea of what it might be like to dream about being a computer program -- and an object-oriented one at that. Kids, if you don't know what a thing is, or if you can't or won't tell us anything about it, don't bother saying so. Lots of people don't know lots of things. It's not news that there's one more.

  • No officer, I swear I wasn't doing that by schroedinbug: "A commonly used excuse to try to get the cop off of your back. HINT: Never Works!" No hardlinks, no content. Another one who ignores /msg's.

  • Farrari by matta (Never seen on E2): "A high end sports car... [yammer yammer] ... John Carmack ... [yammer yammer]". Go home and learn to spell.

  • twice! by stain (last seen January 19): "How Knarph likes to do anything."

  • secret chemical plants by layton: "funny how those UN inspectors couldn't find them but those obvously smart and very expensive missiles could. sounds like everyone wasn't sharing. what those damn canadian bunnies are really doing underground." -- Which UN inspectors? Which missiles? And you mean "not everyone was sharing", I suspect.

    Listen: E2 is not an IRC channel. If you node something that's meaningless without the day's headlines for context, and you neglect to mention what those headlines were, you might just as well have been rolling your forehead back and forth on the keyboard.

  • kill westly crusher by Johnny Carnage: "Spelling in names is usually so subjective. Unfortunatley I have no idea how to correct this. But I still want to Kill Wesley Crusher. " No comment.

  • Kill Wesley Crusher by Johnny Carnage: Wesley Crusher seems to be a character on a television show. The user doesn't like the character. He wants to tell us all about that, again and again. I'm leaving the one at Wesley Crusher.

  • microsfot by yug_inverse: Tedious anti-Microsoft Slashbottery. Wit? Zero. Wisdom? Zero. Information? Zero. Dead on arrival.

  • intollerant by Hollee (Never seen on E2): For somebody who can't spell, it's not an intolerably bad attempt at a definition, but Webster 1913 does it better and spells it right.

  • intollerant by Saige (Last seen August 29): "A misspelling of intolerant." Correct! But since the nodeshell is not long for this world, there's no longer a need to disavow the poor dumb brute.

Nodeshells the Last of Which We'd All Be Happy to See: Pimplit, Farrari, twice!, kill westly crusher, Kill Wesley Crusher, microsfot, intollerant