Tuesdays with Alexander

Recently I've been receiving computer training for my job at a prestigeous ivy league university that I don't personally think I am smart enough to be affiliated with.

Then again, I always go into a situation like this being greatly in awe by an organization, a school or a workplace and after a good 2-3 months of being there quickly realize that everybody there is just about as dumb as everybody everywhere, which makes me feel even dumber because I keep thinking this is not going to happen but it always does.


I have to train with a guy name Alex -- he's originally from Russia, and he doesn't quite have a good command of the english language. I'm not mocking this, but what tends to happen when someone has little command of the language you are both speaking, is that you get straight to the point because there really isn't room to embellish unless you want to pause a whole lot.

Anyway, here's a conversation that recently occurred between us just this past week... it's not word for word, but it's close.

(We are sitting on a park bench eating lunch. Two attractive girls pass by, Alex kind of leers at them enough that they might notice he's looking at them. I tend to try to not do that, not out of politeness, but because I'm a big pansy loser.)

Alex: What kind girl you like?

Jay : Uhhmm... I don't know really.

Alex : I mean, what you look for?

Jay : Well, I like smart girls.

Alex: (a little frazzled at this point because I don't seem to be understanding what he's getting at) I mean, what you like? Boobs? (Makes internation motion for boobs) Butt? Legs?

(I have a brief flashback of a ZZTop Video here, but it's not really part of the conversation because it's in my mind. Leg warmers... Jesus christ what were people thinking? Leg warmers do not make my tube snake boogie. Wow, that was base, but it's okay because it was a bad pun.)

Jay: I like when girls possess all of those things, yes. Actually, my dream girl would have one brown eye and one green eye, be about 5'7 and have a very slight limp.

Alex: Hmm.

- FIN -

*sighs quietly*

It is very hard living with someone who thinks that you have just done something both life-changing and stupid.

My mother is just not happy that I am married now - she thinks I'm too young, that I should have waited until after I have my B.A., that Daniel and I are moving too fast, etc. She thinks Dan and I are perfect for each other, but that we are moving too fast. *sighs again*

It helps not at all that Mom's best friend, PJ, works with Pam, the ex-wife of Dan's stepfather. Pam's daughter once accused Dan and his brother (as well as several other friends) of raping her - this was 6 or 7 years ago. It was proven entirely false - a complete lie, made up as an excuse to run away from her father's house. Regardless, stories such as this are being poured into PJ's ear at work, and consequently, being relayed to Mom. PJ is very loud and opinionated - prone to setting her mind to something and not changing it regardless of the proof or logic she is shown. This means that she hears the stories, assumes they are true, and makes the decision to bitch about this - at my mother. This puts Mom in tears - angry and depressed. And, that is on top of the fact she has been moping/pouting/whining for the last week about Dan and my decision to move the legal marriage up.

She takes all of this out by laying guilt trips about anything she can. Housework, money, playing video games, etc.

I don't know how much more of this I can handle. I spend so much time fighting back tears when I am around her now. Why can't she be happy for me? Happy that I am happy and in love with someone who loves me and will take care of me as much as I do him?

Tuesday on the way home from karate class, Dan and I were even discussing the possibility of moving out.

Last Thursday, Mark Linkous played a plaintive tune for us. Sparklehorse were composed of a bedraggled Mark, a generously-bosomed violinist, an intelligent-blonde bassist, a genius keyboardist wearing spectacles and a taciturn drummer. Their carefully planned music fell into disarray when some technical difficulties scuppered the Linkous' electric guitar. The crowd were remarkably patient as Linkous and the Zodiac crew tried to rectify the problem. There were several more pauses which marred an otherwise excellent set.

He played a lot of stuff from the first album, Vivadixiesubmarinetransmissionplot and more from the latest album but none from the second album Good Morning, Spider. My conjecture is that the stuff on that album he wants to put behind him since it deals with his recovery from illness and drug addiction.

I'm looking for birthday presents for my gf at this weekend. The big day looms large and I know she demands the stars of heaven.

My birthday.
According to Everything2, the point of reaching middle age. Judging from statistics, most of my life is now behind me.

No celebration, just my wife giving me a great present just after midnight. My mother called. After a long week, I am tired. Too tired to go out, happy to sit here, doing mail, noding this (me ? noding a day log entry ? never !) and drinking a coke.

What changed, compared to yesterday ?

It would be more difficult to change employers now.
In exactly ten years, I'll be fifty, my beard and hair will be much greyer than today.

What changed, thinking back to the day I turned 30 ?

I feel older.
My body isn't as flexible as it used to be and fatty food is something to avoid.
More wrinkles in the face, beard and hair greying - less hair, too.
Increasing lack of endurance - and I am tired.
Partying until early mornings makes me pay a toll the next day.
I am less idealistic nowadays, turned into a cynic.
A mortal cynic - who stopped looking for adventurous trips during the holidays.

Celebs, local politicians, professionals and colleagues are young - and trying to be the hot coder I once claimed to be would look terribly funny.
UF's Sid Dabster is my hero - my age, my looks, my kind of personal history.

Life is a real-time adventure game with excellent graphics, a very complicated plot, a mediocre sound track and I still do not understand the rules and scoring system. Or the objective.

Work sucked today and made my big toe hurt. I don't know why. Well, I know why work sucked--there's inventory coming up and we're not ready so everyone's getting their asses kicked. But I don't know why my toe hurts. 'Tis one of the many mysteries of the universe.

Oh yeah, some guy buying Christian books asked me what my pentacle necklace meant. I was pleased that he asked, listened, and didn't contradict with "the truth" (that I worship Satan, of course) or a witnessing speech. It is tolerant and curious Christians like these that make me remember why I love people. In any case I told him that it represents the four elements (earth, air, fire, and water) plus the spirit (the top point) encircled in a working atmosphere of interwoven-ness, or whatever.

I'm always in the middle of a book. I guess that goes with working in a bookstore. Today on my lunch break I was reading Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister by Gregory Maguire. It's pretty weird, though not as intriguing as the other one by him, Wicked. I was told to read Wicked, incidentally, because one of my friends read a story *I* wrote (called "Bad Fairy," which was basically Sleeping Beauty told from the bad fairy Maleficent's point of view) and told me it reminded her of that book. I can totally see what she meant, it almost seems I used the book for inspiration. Except that that is impossible, of course.

At home I'm also reading The Magical Household by Scott Cunningham and David Harrington. So far it's not great but it's interesting enough, all about special things you can do to make your house more magickal (and what people have done throughout history all over the world to guard their homes against evil and make their fortune flourish).

I have a running list of chores that I am supposed to do, one every day so that no part of my house ever gets filthy. I've been doing this for some time. But I am bad about it. Today I am supposed to dust the lamps and the windowsill. I don't want to.

My diet continues; here's today's menu.

1 granola bar: 110 calories

10 baby carrots: 17.5 calories
1 apple: 80 calories
1 plain tortilla (I love these things plain!): 80 calories
1 cup of skim milk: 90 calories

1½ cups salad: 15 calories
1 tablespoon Heinz Ketchup: 40 calories
2 tablespoons lite Miracle Whip: 70 calories
(I'm getting sick of eating this. But it's pretty good. Notice how my dressing TOTALLY defeats the purpose of having salad.)

2/3 cup mixed vegetables: 60 calories
1 scrambled egg: 100 calories
16 Wheat Thins crackers (oohhhh, yummy!): 130 calories
1 orange popsicle!: 60 calories

This equals a total of 852.5 calories, leaving me 174.5 to play with over the course of the day. I might eat more Wheat Thins, or have some fruit juice or my last grapefruit.

I don't seem to be losing weight. At all. Shit.

Well, well, what a day. It all began with awakening, as usual, to my little tabby cat, Roi, leaping up onto my bed and chittering away at me. I've noticed that lately, she's less shy about crawling all over me when I'm lying in bed, trying to sleep. A few months ago, she'd just lay beside me... and now she crawls all over my chest, wanders down my legs, and curls up in my armpit, purring loudly the whole while. It's really a beautiful thing!

And off to work I went, then, bright and early at 9 AM. The morning wasn't off to a great start to begin with, as me and the General Manager were the only ones there. After a few phone calls, we found out that two of our openers wouldn't be able to make it in. Terrific! Fortunately, a few people were able to come in early, and it was all okay. The rest of the day, we got pounded with tons of massive chicken orders, and a few customers got pissed off after having to wait 20 minutes or more for hteir stuff... but what can we do when we're short-staffed one person, and the other half of the people there are newbies who haven't been there more than a week? The only truly noteworthy thing about work was the arrival of this cute new worker called Amanda. Maybe she's not cute by mainstream standards... she'd probably be considered "average" by most guys... but there's something about her that struck me right away as being intensely attractive. Maybe it was just her cute smile, or her gorgeous face structure, or her relaxed demeanor... I don't quite know. Anyways, it was her first day, and I saw to it personally that everything went smooth for her, and that she reamined busy and in high spirits. Partially to spend time around her and entertain her with my sense of humor and innocent charm, and also because I'm getting fucking tired of seeing 9 out of every 10 new employees quit within the first two weeks. I intend to keep her around! Best of all, she's displayed interest in the Taco Line, so we'll be working together quite a bit. Joy!

Throughout the course of the horrifyingly busy day, I actually managed to find out that she was totally free tonight, and then I moved on to make evening plans with her. Success! We set up plans to go bowling or something, and she gave me her phone number before she left, and I didn't even need to ask for it! (Which is a very, very Good Thing, for those who do not know.)

However, my luck seems to be running dry lately. I called her tonight, and she couldn't make it for some reason. However,she did reschedule our outing for this Thursday. Generally speaking, when she cancels a date but reschedules it (and hopefully, sticks to her rescheduling) she's a keeper. Life has been giving me many, many false starts lately. Meghann, who I had such fun in the park with a few nights ago, was supposed to get together with me yesterday night, but I couldn't get a hold of her at all last week. Then, I was planning to get together with beautiful Nicole on Friday, but no such luck there either. And let's not even mention Sara. It's been false start after false start lately! Grr! Well, maybe it's just an unfortunate string of coincidences, or perhaps it's some sort of kooky divine test. I'm just going to keep plugging away, and I'll refuse to hesitate, and everything will be okay. I hope.

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