outies

The Cabin

Jeffrey had stacked a magnificent fire and it now roared in the vast opening in the center of the room. The sweet-smelling warmth, punctuated by the occasional "pop" or "crackle" of the blaze, suddenly became the sun, the center of the universe on this incredibly cold night. Dimmed lamps and candles lit the lovely broad Maple beams of the floor, the tan leather seating and the carefully-chosen antiques. The dining table on one side of the capacious building was set with gleaming crystal, china and silver. An enormous fishbowl filled with ice served as centerpiece of the bar, its top made of green Italian marble. Expensive bottles of liquor stood like soldiers on the countertop, with glasses set upside down and ice-buckets with bottles of chilled mixers inviting the guests to come to help themselves. Behind the bar was a glass-doored, temperature- and humidity-controlled storage unit laid floor-to-ceiling with bottles of fabulous examples of the vintner's art.

The snow outside had drifted against the floor-to-ceiling panes of glass which formed the "living room" extension of what Tim called "The Cabin." What had, literally, been a one-room cabin had been turned into a year-round escape; an architectural gem tucked deep into a pine forest, literally a quarter mile from the nearest residence on one side. The other side of the home faced a few hundred acres of protected wilderness, a State forest with but a single road running through it. This was isolation; peace and quiet sublime; but the house itself was certainly no "cabin." The original cabin, containing a wood stove and made of logs, was a simple affair which measured about fifteen by twenty feet. The "cabin" was now the kitchen, with wood-burning stove intact; very quaint in the presence of the superb modern appliances which surround it. Two halls lead backward to the "barn;" a structure with a facade of weathered wood rescued from collapsing farm buildings from New Jersey to New England. Behind the facade was an ingenious concrete structure which held warmth in winter yet insulated from summer's heat. Each bedroom in the barn was decorated in a different style, a whimsical perhaps hackneyed treatment but done so tastefully in this case it became an adventure to explore. The pool was small as indoor pools but had been featured in Architectural Digest as an exquisite example of the marriage of indoors and outdoors seamlessly; a boulder extended from outside the building, pokes through a glass wall and forms one wall of the pool where the huge rock's been partially carved away.

The living room extension of the home faced the driveway. Built to imitate architect Philip Johnson's famous "Glass House" in Connecticut, the transparent-walled structure with its copper flashing top and bottom was cantilevered so it seemed to float like a warmly-lit spaceship above the foundation. The living room alone measured nearly a thousand square feet. At night, drivers approaching the structure from the tiny drive compared it to the sterility of an office complex, until greeted by the glow from behind the double front doors underneath the living space. The custom-built frosted glass doors open outward to reveal the fireplace chimney, built of fieldstones, upon which hangs a fourteen-foot tall abstract oil painting depicting an explosion of yellow, orange, red and black.
 

Weekend in a Winter Wonderland

The guests had all made it out to southern New Jersey despite the thick white snow. Fact be known, this close group of friends would've climbed Mount Everest in a blizzard twice as bad for an invitation to "The Cabin," particularly for the weekend. Activities at the weekend retreat typically include hours of witty banter, gourmet meals accompanied by fabulous wines, much drinking of rare liquors, but best of all, the camaraderie that comes of a quarter-century's acquaintance or more. Tim greeted each guest warmly as they arrived, and the huge residence began to bustle with activity.

As Jeffrey showed Warren to his guest room, Warren hissed, "I always get the Queen Anne room; can't I ever get something a little more butch!? Jeffrey and Tim had gotten used to the quips made by their guests about room assignments; but it was house rules, the guests were not allowed to select their own rooms. This weekend, the biggest joke was on Bobby, known for his love of all things velvet, silk, and fur. Tim had decided to give him the "Leather" bedroom. Marc, a Broadway producer and successful songwriter, was given the only guest room with a glass wall facing outdoors, as he once had told his host of the magnificent inspiration he derived from the movements of the birds (and the occasional deer) in the woods outside. The other guests arrived a bit later.

Jamie had recently parted company with a lover half his age in a very acrimonious, public breakup that had made headline news in gossip-queen Liz Smith's column. Jamie tried to keep out of the news all he could, but the young man had gotten himself a lawyer and won a hefty palimony award rumored to be in the low seven-figure range. When Jamie pulled up that evening, he was driving a Volvo station wagon, his "country car." The others peered out the windows above and whispered whether or not Jamie had been forced to divest himself of his classic Rolls. Before losing nearly a third of his fortune, he had always complained about the cost of everything, probably due to having a Depression-era mentality drummed into him during childhood. But now, they were all bracing for stories from Jamie about having to "eat beans out of a can" and drink bag-in-box wine from Sutter Home or (Heaven forbid!) Gallo.

The moment Jamie walked into the room the gossip stopped abruptly and each guest approached him with a hug and a question about how he was doing. Finally his sad Basset Hound face lit up when Jeffrey approached with a gigantic glass containing lots of Bourbon and just a few ice cubes. Jeff carried Jamie's bag to his guest room and Jamie followed, explaining that he wanted to "powder his nose."

Vince and Benjamin arrived last. They'd been a couple now for nearly a half-century. Vince had been a teacher in the New York City public school system for his entire career. Benjamin thought that very noble, and bore the financial weight of the couple from their humble beginnings when they'd just met and Ben was a lowly junior broker with a small bond trading house. Now on the board of directors of two powerful financial institutions, Benjamin was in semi-retirement but still kept his fingers on the pulse of the world's markets and dispensed his advice to Fortune 500 firms in exchange for a retainer and per-diem fee that would be the envy of any Senior Partner in a major brokerage firm, or law firm for that matter. Benjamin had asked Vince to politely leave his teaching job the second time a student brought a gun to school. Vince retired at age 71 — the third time a student brought a gun to school.
 

The Ice-Man Cometh

Friday evenings always began with strong drink. To keep the guests from getting tipsy, Jeffrey had put out tiny yellow potatoes stuffed with Brie cheese and dill, scallops wrapped in bacon, and fiery-hot Guacamole with Pita toasts to go with the drinks. It took two hours before Tim and Jeff even got an inkling anyone was hungry. Of course, the center of the chit-chat was Jamie, and rightfully so, because he'd been through so much recently. He'd finally had enough of the spotlight and suggested that, although the hors d'oeuvres were delicious, perhaps some of the guests might want to take their supper.

Jeff had out-done himself yet again, starting with a lovely cream of Asparagus soup, a simple salad of Radicchio and Pink Grapefruit sections, Vegetarian Lasagne (with three cheeses, though), splendid Anise-scented grilled Italian sausages and Brussels Sprouts with Pumpkin Chunks in Nutmeg-spiced Beurre Blanc sauce. The men ate heartily and thoroughly enjoyed the repast, commenting politely about each dish. Vince and Warren helped Jeff get the soiled soup and salad plates off of the table mid-meal; the trio would also load the dishwasher later. These were roles that they'd become accustomed to and genuinely enjoyed, despite their loud complaints that "a woman's work is never done!"

Tim was opening yet another bottle of the lovely Pinot Noir he'd chosen to accompany the entree course when a loud buzzing sound came from the kitchen area. The guests thought that it was a timer of some sort; Jeffrey explained that it was no timer, it was the doorbell to the back door. Warren motioned for Tim to stay where he was, and he accompanied Jeff through the kitchen, the pantry and the mud room to the back door. The two of them chuckled and figured it was perhaps a "secret" additional guest Tim had invited either for the meal or for the weekend.

The part-time help responsible for the grounds had kept the driveway and front walk free of snow. They had ignored the lengthy path leading from the service area behind the house up to the rear door. Fully a foot of snow had drifted onto the door, making it difficult to open. Jeffrey put his shoulder into it while Warren turned on the outdoor light.

Warren's scream was so loud and so protracted that Tim dropped his wine glass on the floor. Nobody cared; all who remained at the dinner table ran to the tiny mud room off the kitchen to see what had prompted the outburst.

"I think he's dead. Look, he's all blue!" Warren was hysterical. He and Jeff had opened the door to find a young man, near frozen to death, squatting and holding his knees with his hands, right outside the door.

Ever cool-headed, Vince said "I doubt it. He managed the doorbell. Now let's get him inside and wrap him up in blankets fast."

As Jeffrey and Tim bent down to pick up their uninvited visitor, Benjamin inquired "do you think I ought to call 9-1-1?"

The young man now being held up in Jeff and Tim's arms tried to raise his arms feebly. "N-n-n-o-o p-p-police. I'll, I'll ex-x-plain. Please, n-no p-police!"

Warren fussed and mopped the tall young man from head to toe with a couple of very thick towels. Vince came running with two down comforters from the linen closet. Someone moved the table away from the dining nook in the kitchen and they sat the boy down, wrapped up tightly, on the bench built into the kitchen wall.

The young man Warren and Jeff had found at the door was about six feet tall, with a thatch of bushy black hair. Sadly, the cold had rendered the boy's lips, fingers, and even cheeks nearly as blue as were his eyes.

The boy had been completely nude but for a pair of hiking boots.
 

The Young Man's Story

Jeff microwaved some tea and Vince prepared a warm foot bath to ward off hypothermia.

Benjamin motioned for Tim to join him away from where their conversation could be heard. After a moment's discussion, Benjamin and Tim returned to the mudroom. "Now, young man, you're going to have to tell us exactly what you're doing a mile away from the main road without any clothes, and your story better be good or we will indeed telephone the police." While Benjamin was saying this, Tim was digging through the snow outside the kitchen door with gloved hands looking for some sign of a weapon. He found none.

The boy explained that he was an expert skier who'd tackled some of the world's toughest trails. That afternoon, he and a group of college chums had been drinking and they wagered a lot of money on a silly prank which involved walking down the road in the State Forest to their cars, parked a mile down the road, completely naked but for footgear. He offered up his parents' telephone number, but beseeched Vince, who'd picked up the phone, merely to tell them that he'd been in a fender bender and that it would take a little while to sort out but that everything and everyone was fine. Vince decided to wait until the boy's teeth stopped chattering before forcing him to speak to his parents.

It didn't take long at all until the boy, who introduced himself as Jared, stopped shivering. The color was returning to his cheeks when he asked Jeff for another cup of tea. Jeff asked if he'd rather have some brandy. Jared eagerly accepted, "that'll make it easier to talk my way out of this with my folks."

Benjamin was all business and allowed Jared only a few sips from the snifter of aromatic Cognac before dialing the number Jared had given. A woman answered.

"Are you Jared's mother?"

"Yes, I'm Mrs. Grosvenor," her voice took on a very worried tone immediately, and she spoke loudly, "where's my son? Is he alright."

Benjamin felt bad and did the best he could to take the crisp, businesslike tone out of his voice. "Your son's fine. He's just fine. He'd like to speak to you."

Jared told his mother that he'd been with friends, rattled off their names, and that he'd decided to go cross-country skiing but that he'd run into a little trouble with his Jeep afterwards. His mother had obviously asked him when he'd be home and he answered candidly that he didn't know but that he'd be just fine. The conversation ended with Jared saying "yes, mother, I've got plenty of money and I'll be just fine. Don't wait up, okay?"

Jamie asked Jared how far they'd gone into the State Forest and which side their cars were on. It turns out that their cars were parked on the side of the main road, a mile down the road. They'd actually been dropped off by Jeep, all the way on the opposite side of the woodlands. Jared offered up a guess that he'd been walking nearly 3/4 of a mile before he came upon the house. Jamie and Vince had the same thought at the same moment, "Where the heck are your friends? They could freeze to death out there!"

Although Jared seemed to be a bright fellow, it hadn't occurred to him that of his group of friends, he was by far the best able to handle the cold and that there were three more boys wandering around, unclothed but for footwear, somewhere between the house and the drop-off spot in the State Forest. Jamie said "well, my wagon has four wheel drive, do you think I can make it up that road?" Jared stood up, saying "Yes, yes. I'll show you the way!" but sat down after he realized that he still had nothing on. He covered his groin with a corner of one of the comforters he was wrapped in.

"You get him dressed while I clean off my car," Jamie said to the others. They were about to go on a mission of mercy. Vince gathered the comforters off of two of the guestroom beds, and took the two that had been wrapped around Jared, and handed them to the boy, advising him to tell Jamie to drive carefully. All the men were relieved when Jamie handed Jared the keys and said "you've had a lot less to drink than I have, my friend. Just be careful with my little car."
 

In The Nick of Time

It only took Jared about ten minutes to drive Jamie up the road through the thick woods before they found the first of Jared's friends. The young man was obviously in trouble. He stood in the road and waved his arms at the headlights. Jared said "It's me; I've brought help."

The first passenger, Steven, explained that he was afraid that the other two boys had had too much to drink and had either frozen to death or were quite close to it. Jamie gave Ben the front seat where the most heat was, covered him with a comforter, and they were off again.

A mere three minutes up the road they spotted another young man standing over another, who appeared to be asleep in a snowbank. Jared and Jamie got the boy who was standing up, Mark, into the rear of the car. The boy on the ground was a difficult lift for someone Jamie's age, but he and Jared managed to get him into the passenger seat. He was unconscious, but had a pulse and was breathing. He'd been moments away from death. Both of the boys found in the woods reeked of alcohol. Mark introduced himself with a chatter and said nothing further than "Oh, and he's Henry."

Jared had to back the Volvo down the road quite a way before he found a clearing he'd dare turn the car around in. He did so successfully, and they headed off to the house. When they got to the house, Jared, Jamie and now Jeff hustled the three freezing, naked young men into the foyer.
 

Curfew? What Curfew?

Tim and Benjamin had had plenty of time to discuss the potential legal ramifications of housing a group of naked minors, some of whom were perhaps frostbitten and by now (2:00 a.m.) must all have been out well past their curfew. When the boys got settled, each of Jared's three friends was instructed to call home and have their parents identify themselves to Benjamin. The older men were rather amazed at the responses from the parents Benjamin was receiving. When they were all as young as Jared and his friends, their parents imposed strict curfews, rarely later than midnight. But that was, for some of them, not too long after World War II had concluded.

All of the boys were given pajamas to wear. Then the interrogation started. Tim and Jeff's guests couldn't get enough information out of these boys. On top of the list of questions were where they attended college, what their studies were, and what on earth had possessed such intelligent young men to take a dare so potentially life threatening. It was six in the morning and the sun was about to go up by the time everyone found a place to bed down, despite the capacity of the house for guests. All went to sleep and remained sleeping until after noon.

The following day, the boys' cars were retrieved and, at the encouragement of Warren and Bobby, they were invited to brunch. The older guests sipped proper Bloody Marys, while the young men opted for beer, except for Jared, who very humbly and politely asked to sample some of the Cognac he'd partaken of the night before. Jeff fixed a fine brunch, nothing fancy but all very good. The entire gang managed to eat over two dozen of Jeff's ham biscuits, as well as eggs, bacon, fruit, and fried potatoes.

The last bits of brunch were being nibbled when Steven astonished the living room full of men by quickly swallowing an entire can of beer (his fourth), wiping his mouth with his sleeve, and asking in a rather nonchalant fashion, "Hey, all you old guys are, like, gay, aren't you?"

The silence was such that one could hear a pin drop, in fact, one could hear a pin drop onto a down pillow. The pause lasted about a minute and then there was a vigorous clearing of throats and such from almost everyone. Vince spoke up first. "You mean, happy? Carefree? Gay?" His stare was like a laser aimed right at Steven's glazed eyes.

Jared tried to interfere, starting with "Steve, these are very kind gentlemen and I think it's rude of you to pry like that..."

Vincent lifted a hand and silenced Jared. Vincent then took about twenty minutes to explain that, yes, they did prefer the company of men but that they in fact only preferred the company of gay men, and that although they found the lads interesting and, indeed attractive, he and Benjamin were a committed couple. He went on to offer to speak on behalf of the rest of his friends, and did so eloquently, delving into such topics as stereotypes, homophobia and what leading a dual life; one public, one extremely private; was like. He finished on a note of levity: "and, unlike your friend Steven here, we have manners. And manners dictate that you never ask a new acquaintance to be physically intimate on the first date!" That relieved the tension in the room, and the serious conversation ended at that moment.

The rest of the day was spent in conversation, drinking a bit, swimming in the pool (the young men naked again, and apparently quite comfortable with it) and eating some more. Soon it was time to go home, and the boys were given telephone numbers and told to visit New York any time they'd care to.
 

You Just Ain't Gonna Believe This

About a week later, Tim and Jeff, Vince and Benjamin, Jamie, Warren and Bobby were seated at a dinner held by a mutual friend, who happened to be a very well-known entertainer who was also known for his voracious appetite for the pleasures of the flesh. Same-sex flesh.

"Well, I hear you all spent a nice weekend in the country and didn't think to invite moi, did you? What did you do all weekend, play Bridge?

Jamie held the actor's hand and with an Oscar-winning deadpan face on said, "my friend, you really didn't miss a lot. And if I told you what we did, you'd never believe me in a million years..."

Based on a true story. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Submitted for ushdfgakjasgh's little homage to hatred.

A man, usually Caucasian, who has a sexual preference for Asian men. This term can either be an insult or a joke, depending on the context. As an insult, it can be used as a derogatory moniker applied to someone that is seen as predatory or socially disquieting. This individual is more often older, overweight, or ugly as homemade sin; his interest in the young asian male is seen as vaguely pedophilic, owing to the fact that many asian men have very little body hair and slight builds. This individual's interest is met with the same social stigma as men who seek out Asian females; this behavior is often referred to as an Asian "Fetish".

This term can also be used playfully, or as a joke among friends. An attractive or young man can get away with consistently dating Asians; he may identify himself as a Rice Queen or accept the moniker from others. His attraction is seen as less of a character flaw than an idiosyncrasy.

British composer, painter, novelist and eccentric
Born 1883 Died 1950

Although the 14th Baron Berners lived the life of a country gentleman, he devoted much of his time to "my little hobbies, writing, painting, and music" and left a small but in some ways impressive body of work. His general attitude to life can be summed up by the fact that when he had his portrait painted by the Spanish artist Gregorio Prieto he insisted on being depicted holding a lobster.

1. Early Life

Gerald Hugh Tyrwhitt was born on the 18th September 1883 at Apley Park in Bridgnorth, Shropshire, being the only child of a Royal Naval Lieutenant named Hugh Tyrwhitt and his wife Julia Mary Foster. His father was the third son of the Baroness Berners whilst his mother was the daughter of William Orme Foster, the Liberal Member of Parliament for South Staffordshire.

Gerald appears to have had a lonely childhood. He had no brothers or sisters and no childhood friends. His mother appears to have been disappointed by his lack of interest in horses and hunting, whilst his father, being in the navy, spent a lot of time away from home. (An arrangement that apparently suited both parents as neither seems to have been that fond of the other.) Gerald was therefore forced to amuse himself, and soon began to display certain idiosyncrasies. Having been told that a dog would instinctively swim when thrown into water, he decided to throw his mother's spaniel out of the window on the basis that it would then similarly instinctively fly. Fortunately it was only a first-floor window and the spaniel survived, although his mother did thrash him for this misdemeanor.

Being sent off to boarding school does not appear to have improved matters. He was later to claim that the main drawback of his time at Cheam Preparatory School was "the fact that the headmaster happened to be a sadist", whilst he complained that he was merely surrounded by philistines at Eton College. As Gerald himself was later to put it "Those who say that their childhood was the happiest period in their lives must, one suspects, have been the victims of perpetual misfortune in later years".

Having left Eton at the age of sixteen in 1900 he then spent the next few years travelling on the Continent courtesy of regular cheques from his mother where he ostensibly studied languages. He then decided on the Diplomatic Service as a career and sat the Foreign Office examination in 1905 and again in 1907 but failed on both occasions. Nevertheless he became an honorary attaché and was posted first to Constantinople in 1909, then to Rome from 1911 until 1919.

His decision to pursue an unpaid diplomatic career had two important consequences. Firstly it kept him away from the traumas of World War I, and secondly it introduced him to a number of European cultural influences, particularly during his time in Rome, where he met and befriended Ronald Firbank, came into contact with both Futurism and Surrealism, and made the acquaintance of both Diaghilev and Stravinsky.

What however transformed his life was the death of his rich uncle, Raymond Robert Tyrwhitt-Wilson, 13th Baron Berners on the 5th September 1918, after which he became the 14th Baron Berners and a baronet and also inherited a considerable country estate. In the following year he took his grandmother's name of Wilson becoming Tyrwhitt-Wilson (belatedly fulfilling the condition imposed by his grandmother on her heirs), resigned from the Diplomatic Service and returned to Britain. Although he did indeed take his seat in the House of Lords in December 1923, and actually attended once or twice, politics were of no interest to him. When asked some years later by Diana Mosley about his view of the House of Lords he replied, "I did go once, but a bishop stole my umbrella and I never went there again."

2. The Composer, Painter and Author

Gerald had in his youth learned to play the piano, although "somewhat inaccurately" and had later written and published a number of songs and short pieces, most notably Trois petites marches funèbres in 1914. This was however more of a hobby than anything else, and it was whilst he was in Rome that Gerald was persuaded to take the the business of composing more seriously. Indeed he was later to have a Dolmetsch clavichord, decorated with flowers and butterflies, installed in the back seat of his Rolls-Royce, so that he could compose in transit.

The first product of his more serious phase was a short one-act opera, Le Carrosse du Saint-Sacrement which was based on Prosper Mérimée's comedy, and was regarded as a success when performed in Paris in 1924. This led to his being commissioned by Sergei Diaghilev to compose a ballet on his behalf, with the resulting The Triumph of Neptune, with choreography by George Balanchine, appearing in 1926. Although he also wrote Luna Park, produced by Charles B. Cochran in 1930, with choreography again by Balanchine, it was to be another ten years before he wrote another major musical work.

The main reason for his sudden lack of interest in music was that he had developed an enthusiasm for painting. Having acquired a house on the Forum in Rome (address 1 Foro Romano), he spent much of his time in the surrounding countryside painting Italian landscapes in the style of Corot. He had two successful exhibitions at the Lefèvre Gallery in 1931 and again in 1936 where his work sold well, although as Evelyn Waugh remarked "Gerald Berners had an exhibition of pictures and sold them all on the first day which shows what a good thing it is to be a baron." The general opinion appears to have been that his pictures were "just too perfect"; that is conventionally photographically accurate without necessarily displaying any genuine artistic merit.

Perhaps such attitudes encouraged him to turn to the written word, and his first book, an autobiography entitled First Childhood appeared in 1934. Described as "a minor masterpiece" this recounted the details of his life to the age of fourteen, and was followed by a novel The Camel in 1936 in which a vicar's wife decides to ride a camel to hounds. He is however best remembered for The Girls of Radcliff Hall (1937) which is part parody of the so-called lesbian novel The Well of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall, and a part camp homosexual roman de clef. Set in a girls' school, each of the girls where simply versions of Gerald's various homosexual friends, such as Cecil Beaton, David Herbert and Oliver Messel, whilst the character of the school's headmistress was based on Gerald himself. The work was understandably intended for private circulation only, although it is said that Cecil Beaton was so annoyed by the book that he made efforts to gather up and destroy all the copies he could find in an attempt to suppress it.

Towards end of the thirties he rediscovered his enthusiasm for music and in 1937 completed a ballet, A Wedding Bouquet. Based on a play by Gertrude Stein and with choreography by Frederick Ashton, Gerald also designed both the costumes and sets for the production, whilst the cast included Robert Helpmann and Margot Fonteyn. This was regarded as a definite success and has been described by the New Grove Music Dictionary as a "minor masterpiece of British ballet".

3. Faringdon House

After his mother died in 1930 Gerald made his home at Faringdon House, which was in Berkshire at the time, but is now in Oxfordshire thanks to a shifting of the county boundary. There he erected a sign in the grounds which read 'Trespassers will be prosecuted, dogs shot, cats whipped', and another on the front door which proclaimed 'Mangling done here'; indeed he seemed to have a penchant for erecting signs and stuck one that read 'Prepare To Meet Thy God' inside a wardrobe.

Of course the reason why Gerald had so many homosexual friends was that he himself was very much homosexual and set up home at Faringdon House with Robert Vernon Heber Percy, otherwise known as the Mad Boy, who was some twenty-nine years his junior. Although quite how he managed to land such a catch as the dashing 'Mad Boy' is a mystery to many, since Gerald was to be frank quite ugly. His general appearance wasn't helped by the fact that he was also bald and, as he admitted himself, he "looked like a diabolical egg" when angry. In fact as his friend Beverley Nichols was later to recall, Gerald was "remarkably ugly — short, swarthy, bald, dumpy and simian. There is a legend that nobody who has ever seen Gerald in his bath is ever quite the same again." Gerald's profound lack of physical attractiveness may explain why he was shy and apparently somewhat intimidating. By contrast his partner Robert was an extravagant extrovert and appears to have encouraged Gerald in the exercise of the bizarre elements of his imagination.

It was at Faringdon that Gerald dyed the fan-tailed pigeons in various pastel shades, using vegetable dyes provided by Vera Sudeikina in 1937, kept whippets with diamond collars, and tried to persuade neighbouring farmers to dye their horses and cattle purple. He filled the house with paintings by Derain, Sisley, and Matisse and his collection of stuffed birds and mechanical toys, and a slightly less than perpendicular chest of drawers designed by Salvador Dalí.

It was also at Farringdon that that he built the Folly Tower, which is is said to be the last folly ever to be constructed in England, which was formally unveiled in 1935 on the occasion of Robert's birthday. (Although Robert apparently always said that he would have preferred to have been given a horse.) At 104 feet in height, Gerald proudly proclaimed that the the resulting tower was "entirely useless", and put up a prominent sign bearing the words 'Members of the Public committing suicide from this tower do so entirely at their own risk'. (The Folly Tower is now open to the public and can be inspected by those wishing to verify its lack of utility.)

All this and his various eccentricities became well known, as throughout the 1930s Gerald entertained on a lavish scale and Faringdon House was the scene of a series of glittering parties. Guests included the likes of Harold Nicolson, Siegfried Sassoon, Osbert and Sacheverell Sitwell, Emerald Cunard, Cecil Beaton, Rex Whistler, Constant Lambert, Sibyl Colefax, Diana Mosley, and her sister Nancy Mitford, whilst he also liked to entertain fellow composers such as Thomas Beecham, George Gershwin, Ralph Vaughan Williams and William Walton. (The last named dedicated his Belshazzar's Feast to Gerald in gratitude for a gift of money.) When Salvador Dali came to Britain in 1936 to attend the International Surrealist Exhibition, both he and his wife dropped in on Faringdon, and arranged that Gerald should play the grand piano, conveniently located in a pool on the lawn which featured chocolate éclairs placed on the black notes.

4. Final Chapter

Gerald's world was rather turned upside-down by the arrival of World War II, as given his complete lack of interest in politics the whole thing came as something of a shock. He had a nervous breakdown as a result and went to live in Oxford where he spent much of the war cataloguing books. This experience appears to have encouraged him to return to the written word and in 1941 he published three short works of fiction Far, from the Madding War (which contains portraits of his Oxford friends of the time), Count Omega, and Percy Wallingford and Mr Pidger, wrote another comic novel The Romance of a Nose which appeared in 1942 and another autobiographical and a sequel to First Childhood entitled A Distant Prospect in 1945.

Gerald also became involved in cinema, and wrote both a polka and a song Come on Algernon which appeared in the 1944 Ealing production of Champagne Charlie, and composed the film scores for The Halfway House (1943) and Nicholas Nickleby (1946). He also wrote two more ballets in conjunction with Frederick Ashton. However both Cupid and Psyche (1939) and Les sirènes (1947) were unfortunately regarded as being failures. In particular this latter failure seems to have exacerbated his pre-existing depression. First his eyesight and then his general health failed and he died at Faringdon House on the 19th April 1950. The doctor who looked after him in his final years refused to send a bill, on the basis "that the pleasure of his company had been payment enough".

Gerald appears as the character Lord Merlin in Nancy Mitford's Pursuit of Love, and also as Robert Mainwroth in Osbert Sitwell’s story The Love-Bird. The Girls of Radcliff Hall was eventually published in 2000 as despite Beaton's best efforts, John Betjeman had given his copy to the British Library and thereby preserved it for posterity. It apparently holds a certain place of significance in the history of homosexual literature. Much of his music is available on Compact Disc on the Naxos label and remains well regarded, Igor Stravinsky apparently once told Edward James that he was the best composer of his generation.

Naturally Gerald never married and died without heirs. His title passed to a female cousin, whilst his money went to his partner Robert Vernon Heber Percy.

SOURCES

• Mark Amory, ‘Wilson, Gerald Hugh Tyrwhitt-, fourteenth Baron Berners (1883–1950)’, Oxford Dictionary of National Biography, Oxford University Press, 2004
• Joseph Epstein, Pink pigeons and blue mayonnaise from The New Criterion Vol. 17, No. 3, November 1998
  newcriterion.com:81/archive/17/nov98/berners.htm
• Composers Lord Berners http://www.chesternovello.com/default.aspx/default.aspx?TabId=2431&State_2905=2&composerId_2905=112
• Lord Berners (Arranger) http://www.bach-cantatas.com/Lib/Berners.htm
• Gavin Bryars, The Berners Case, originally published in 'The Guardian', February 2003
  http://www.gavinbryars.com/Pages/writing_Lord_Berners.html
• Berners, Lord (Gerald Hugh Tyrwhitt-Wilson) Biography
  http://www.naxos.com/composerinfo/101.htm

It took twelve years for a film which addresses the horror story of the AIDS epidemic to get produced. In its day the film was part education, driving home its message with unvarnished emotion, and part entertainment by way of psychological and courtroom drama. To the modern, enlightened viewer, this film is a macabre fictional but oh-so-accurate account of the exquisite physical and mental suffering of an early-AIDS-era victim and the vortex of discrimination and hopelessness he's sucked into. No matter what time period one lives/lived in, the thought of dying a painful, protracted death; broke and isolated (not unlike lepers of yore) is terrifying. Terrifying to a degree that no monster nor villain of a screenwriter's imagination can match.

Director: Jonathan Demme
Executive Producers: Ron Bozman, Gary Goetzman
Screenwriter: Ron Nyswaner
Musical Score: Howard Shore
Cinematographer: Tak Fujimoto

Release Date: December 23, 1993
English; 125 Minutes

Starring:

Tom Hanks as Attorney Andrew Beckett
Denzel Washington as Attorney Joe Miller

Featuring:

Joanne Woodward as Sarah Beckett
Jason Robards as Attorney Charles Wheeler
Antonio Banderas as Miguel Alvarez
Obba Babatunde as Jerome Green
Quentin Crisp as a Guest at Party
Roberta Maxwell as Judge Tate

The Gay Pride movement had begun moving along at a fast pace and acceptance of gays was at an all-time high by the late 1970s. By the early 1980s, all of the progress made since the Stonewall Riots seemed to have been set back by the initial focus on gay men as the propagators of AIDS. The enlightened seemed to have second thoughts. Worse, the "I told you so" mindset of the homophobe was reaffirmed. "Philadelphia" addresses the public's fear of the unknown; of homosexuality; rekindled by a disease spread by the physiology of homosexual sexual practices (and now we know, also spread by numerous means which are not homosexual by nature at all).

The following trial transcript is part of a larger portion taken from the movie by the Law School at the University of Indiana. It demonstrates the core of the plot of the movie:

35) Q. Are you a homosexual?

A. What?

36) Q. Are you a homosexual? Answer the question. Are you a homo? Are you a faggot? You know, a punk, a queen, pillow-biter, fairy, booty-snatcher, rump-roaster? Are you gay?

DEFENSE. Objection! Where did this come from? Suddenly counsel's attacking his own witness? Mr. Collins' sexual orientation has nothing to do with this case!

JUDGE. Please have a seat, Ms. Conine. Would you approach the bench, Mr. Miller? Would you kindly share with me exactly what's going on inside your head? Because at this moment I don't have a clue.

PLAINTIFF. Your Honor, everybody in this courtroom is thinking about sexual orientation, you know, sexual preference, whatever you want to call it. Who does what to whom and how they do it. I mean, they're looking at Andrew Beckett, they're thinking about it. They're looking at Mr. Wheeler, Ms. Conine, even you, your Honor. They're wondering about it. Trust me, I know that they are looking at me and thinking about it. So let's just get it out in the open, let's get it out of the closet. Because this case is not just about AIDS, is it? So let's talk about what this case is really all about, the general public's hatred, our loathing, our fear of homosexuals, and how that climate of hatred and fear translated into the firing of this particular homosexual, my client, Andrew Beckett.

JUDGE. Please have a seat, Mr. Miller. Very good. In this courtroom, Mr. Miller, justice is blind to matters of race, creed, color, religion and sexual orientation.

PLAINTIFF. With all due respect, your Honor, we don't live in this courtroom, though, do we?

The attorney utilizing this dramatic tactic was, until he met his client, Andrew Beckett, a bona fide homophobe. In fact, despite being black and therefore no doubt having been the subject of racism of some sort or another at some point in his life, attorney Miller (Denzel Washington) was quite narrow-minded about sexual diversity before taking Beckett's case.

Andrew Beckett (Tom Hanks) was a promising young lawyer, in fact, a Senior Associate, at a prestigious Philadelphia firm. He'd consistently attracted the attention of the partners in the firm by demonstrating his ability to win difficult cases and produce excellent work product.

Beckett is also gay. He's got a lover with whom he shares a gorgeous apartment, plenty of friends, and is happy with his life. He enjoys opera. Beckett's mother (played brilliantly by Joanne Woodward) is aware of his sexuality and accepting of it. She does her best to hide the devastation she feels  her son's terminal diagnosis. He's failed, however, to have revealed his sexuality nor his health situation to his employers, and with good reason.

Beckett discovers, over time, that there's a culture of discrimination within the firm. This is not unusual in law firms run by a cadre of old-boy network types who're disturbed at anything unusual which disturbs the status quo of their staid, conservative lives. Beckett's horrified to discover he's diagnosed with AIDS, and even more horrified when the ugly lesions resulting from AIDS-related Kaposi's sarcoma appear on his face and body. Little does he know, the very partners in the firm who were once grooming him for a spot as partner are now repulsed, and decide they must rid their pristine world of the pox (literally) that Beckett represents.

An important plot twist occurs when Beckett must produce a very important filing in a high-profile case. He completes his work and goes home. The morning the paperwork is due in court, it's nowhere to be found. This confounds both Beckett and his assistants, who look high and low for it. The papers show up in the nick of time in a very unlikely place.

Shortly after the incident mentioned in the above paragraph, Beckett is fired without fanfare by one of the firm's partners. He's given no severance. He's certain that the disappearance of the papers was an planned act which the firm perpetrated to justify his firing. Although weakened and wasted by his disease, he decides to sue for having been unfairly terminated.

Beckett sets out to find a lawyer who'll take his case. His quest among his former colleagues (as well as fine attorneys whom he'd previously argued against in court) fails, leaving him disillusioned and discouraged. One by one they give weak excuses why they can't take the case. It becomes obvious to the viewer that they're as fearful and confounded by the new, mysterious disease (associated at that time exclusively with male homosexuals) as were his former colleagues. They're also fearful of running afoul of his former employers — some of the most powerful lawyers in the city. For a while, he decides to try the case himself; during one of his research sessions, he meets Joe Miller, a low-level attorney best described as an ambulance chaser.

Miller never thought he'd defend a case like this. However, the plot dictates that Beckett's case be fought so the screenwriter writes a sudden and overwhelming epiphany for actor Washington's character, and the battle royale ensues.
 

A Modern View of "Philadelphia" as a Historical Milestone

This review will not reveal any more of the plot. What is necessary is to revisit the movie with an historical outlook. The New York Times had rather negative things to say about the movie. The reviewer for the Times said that there were unnecessary holes in the plot, that certain characters were not completely fleshed out, and that the courtroom scenes had a "soapbox" feel to them. Well, why the hell not? At the time the movie came out, AIDS was still a disease that was fatal in a relatively short period of time, although some sufferers had survived up to five years after diagnosis. If anything, the movie conservatively described the woeful lot of AIDS sufferers when all that was apparent to the public was the tip of the iceberg. The epidemic, of course, crossed all lines of sexual orientation, race and sex. But hindsight is 20/20. Of course, these days AIDS is being detected early and treated effectively (albeit with extremely expensive drug protocols). Persons who seroconvert and start and maintain a treatment regimen have a reasonable expectation to live indefinitely if they present with no other significant health issues.

But back to the issue of lackluster reviews. If anything, the movie's run-time is a bit on the long side. Much had been cut out for reasons of time; a scene featuring actors Banderas and Hanks in bed was deleted (but is included in the DVD version of the film) perhaps because the focus of the film is AIDS-phobia and not homosexuality. The 1982 film "Making Love" featuring Harry Hamlin and Michael Ontkean already crossed that line.

Mountains of progress have been made with regard to AIDS-related discrimination. However, it doesn't mean that it'll go away completely any time soon. That's why today's youth ought perhaps to see "Philadelphia." Sure, they may find the mores of 1993 antiquated compared to the much more open and accepting climate of today. Additionally, what's really important about the film is that, but for a costume party (which features the late Quentin Crisp, darling of the campy gay set, as one of Beckett's friends), it successfully distances itself from clichéd stereotypes of gays and paints a more realistic picture.

One must ready one's self for an experience which will at once anger and sadden. Suffice it to say, despite a token silver lining, the climax and resolution of the movie, combined with the elegant minimalism of Bruce Springsteen's "The Streets of Philadelphia" will leave many viewers weeping openly.

As a work of art, the star-power cast combine with elegant cinematography to create an absorbing, realistic and often dark/bleak mood which at times verges on the surreal without becoming inappropriately so. The sublime musical selections, as well as soundtrack composer Howard Shore's haunting musical cues round out the moving experience.
 

For Survivors of the Early 1980s

This movie also gives an important glimpse of what life was like when AIDS was just emerging as a gay health crisis. Back when friends and co-workers became sick, none of us knew what was happening. All we knew was that to attend a funeral a month was not, for many, an exaggeration, if one's career and/or social life involved interacting with the gay community. Worse, with no awareness of preventative measures, more and more people were becoming infected each day. I recall terrified gay co-workers who, as soon as testing became available, began getting tested nearly every week, damn the expense. They wanted to know if they should continue saving for retirement or spend it on the cruise they always wanted to take.

Why re-visit such a horrible time? Well, perhaps it's good to use it as a benchmark to allow us to a bit of hope by way of the awareness of how far we've come. Those who engaged in risky behaviors and came away without contracting the disease should see the movie (even a second or third time) as a reminder of how, in a way, the hedonism of the 1970s ended. And thank their lucky stars, or God, or whatever.
 

Notes on the Movie Music

This review was triggered by a purchase of a used copy of the soundtrack album, after having lost the first purchase. Artistic star-power was not spared when selecting the music for the film. Seven out of the nine songs were nice when they came out (the Spin Doctors' cover of Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Have You Ever Seen The Rain" is a notable effort). Maria Callas is heard singing a black aria from a relatively obscure opera by Umberto Giordano. The two odes to the City of Brotherly Love are the primary reason I replaced this album in my collection.

Music reviewers rate Neil Young's theme music from this movie as more touching than Bruce Springsteen's Oscar-Winning hit "Streets of Philadelphia." Young's lyrics evoke emotion due to their complexity. Springsteen brilliantly utilizes a minimalist approach with a melody that's funereal but infectious. No guitars, harmonica nor saxophone backup are present. Springsteen utilizes instead a carefully-chosen chord progression performed using a synth sound which evokes a cool-sounding church organ, a vocal chorus which sounds ironically carefree, and a backbeat done on two drums, one of them a snare.

Why one reviewer thought Springsteen wasn't merely addressing the topic of Springsteen's included homelessness, it's hard if one pays attention to the lyrics to see the point. Suffice it to say, Springsteen's sotto voce delivery of the carefully chosen lyrics is haunting and memorable. It's a delight to hear "The Boss" deliver a song which shamelessly displays his soft side.

SOUNDTRACK ALBUM TRACK LISTING:

1. "Streets of Philadelphia" by Bruce Springsteen (Performed by the Composer)
2. "Lovetown " Peter Gabriel
3. "It's in Your Eyes" Pauletta Washington 
4. "Ibo Lele (Dreams Come True)" RAM 
5. "Please Send Me Someone to Love" Sade 
6. "Have You Ever Seen the Rain?" Spin Doctors 
7. "I Don't Wanna Talk About It" Indigo Girls 
8. "La Mamma Morta" Maria Callas 
9. "Philadelphia" by Neil Young (Performed by the Composer) 
10. "Precedent" by Howard Shore (Soundtrack Orchestra)
     

UPDATE: Comments from readers echo an important impression of the film which the original reviews mentioned. There's a feeling that, although the film was released about five years too late, the producers and director are shouting, "Hooray for me for having the courage to do a controversial project like this!" Research is still pending regarding whether or not members of the cast, crew and production staff were gay and/or were HIV-positive or full-blown AIDS. Stay tuned.

SOURCES:

• The Internet Movie Database: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107818/fullcredits#cast (Accessed 10/11/07)
• Review/Film: Philadelphia; "Tom Hanks as an AIDS Victim Who Fights the Establishment," by Janet Maslin, The New York Times, December 22, 1993
• Court Transcripts from the Screenplay: Website of Indiana University Law School: http://www.law.indiana.edu/webinit/tanford/movies/Philadelphia.htm (Accessed 10/11/07)
• Philadelphia: Music from the Movie Soundtrack (1994) Epic Soundtrax EK-57624
• Soundtrack Album Additional Information: AllMusic.com: http://wc09.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&token=&sql=10:jjfoxqlgldke (Accessed 10/11/07)