i'm gone. i'm not even like alive. all i see is the red. the blood, running in front of my eyes.





dsllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll...................../dsm fa[ojdflnk;gask dddddd

can't believe it happened again.....guess i don't need the firewall program after all. dsdf;lkufc

You know, I pay like a thousand something a month to live in this apartment. Should I need to put up with the fact that they have a contract with a specific Chicago-based cable company? Fuck that. I PAY to live here and have that choice. I PAY to PICK who I PAY for what services. I don't pay to have that choice made (and badly I might add; it's a shitty company) for me.

Three MONTHS ago, I called a little company called 21st Century Telecommunications, Inc. I said, "Hey, I need cable Internet access before I croak." They were all "Ok, coming right up. We'll be there in like a week or some shit."

Cable guy came an early Friday morning. After fumbling around the gates for a while (I have no doorbell or way of knowing someone's at the gate because I got a cell phone because hell, I'm getting a cable modem, right?), he came in and told me that he wouldn't be able to do it that day and that he'd send me a thing that would give them permission to come on the property to install an amplifier for the signal, because they couldn't give service to one person if the cluster was so big, and mine is so big. SO, I got that service request thingy in the mail the next week. Surprisingly speedy. I took that there thingy and I took it to the I say I say I took it to the office of my building's managers. I said, "I need this here thingy signed so that guy can give me fast fast cable INTERNET access."

Now's the part when they give me speeches about how they have a contract with a company that says that no other company can compete when it comes to cable television. INJUSTICE, MY BROTHER! I can't get the cable INTERNET because they would have to touch the lines for the TV! Holy SHIT! They told me to go with DSL, as other residents have it and had no problem installing it.

Meanwhile, I was spending much time at adoxograph's house and was living off the Internet access adoxograph has and the computer lab I worked at. I wasn't too bad off; the computer lab had zip drives, I have zip drives. It worked.

Two MONTHS ago, I called Flashcom. I said "Gets me some Internet Access mufucka!" Dude was like "It'll be about 3 weeks to check the line and make sure it works, and then another week after that our people will come on site to actually install it." One month. Two months. Last week I got a call (on my CELL PHONE; my only means of personal communication) from Flashcom. WOO! An A.M. appointment for Thursday, August 10, 2000. That means they'll be here to install around 8 in the morning and should be done by noon. I told the folk where I work now (no computer lab anymore; it's been that long), and they said it was ok to come in at like noon.

This morning I got up at 8:46a. I walked around the grounds to see if anyone was at a gate. The guy was supposed to call, but I figured I'd make sure. I noticed my roommate was leaving then. I didn't ask why he was leaving so late (he was supposed to be out of here by 8) because I convinced him to stay up with me and a buddy last night. I got back and realized that I'd gotten up an hour too early because I'd set my clock an hour ahead last night when setting my alarm. whoops. So I slept. It was a long and wonderful sleep; I was up kinda late. Slept all the way to 10:45 or so, and got up again to make a round. Nobody. There weren't even people waiting to get in the gates anyway, and there was some guy welding things, and he had the gate stuck open (still does even), so I need not worry about the gates today. I play Tetrisphere.

Dude calls. It's 12:30p, but he calls. Says he's running late and that he can still do it, but it'll be later (like 1, 1:30). So I call work and get the ok to take as long as I need and tell dude I can. Name's Saul. Real nice guy.

Dude calls at 2 and says he's on his way. Ok, at least he's coming. Saul gets here and I let him in, and he looks at the phone jack and busts it open; uses his green phone on it. Tells me there's a dial tone, which surprises me (and is the reason I'm writing this right now). Verdict is he needs to get in the phone closet or whatever to hook the shit up, then he tells me since he was so late he'll put a jack anywhere in my room.

Go to office. Secretary tells us manager's on the phone, so we wait. About FIFTEEN minutes later, she comes out and tells us we can't do it because the DSL guy is not a "recognized contractor" by the complex, and then brings up the contract with that one shitty company. I might add she does announcing in an extremely impolite manner, such as coming out telling the DSL guy "some resident keeps calling these companies--" stop to notice me sitting there. Bitch even has the fucking balls to tell me that the shitty company is merging with 21st Century at the end of the month, and that I can get DSL from them then (which they don't offer, by the way. She really knows nothing about Internet access. Thought DSL was cable. Didn't know it was phone). Then goes on about how this guy can't touch anything because, basically, they can't trust him or something. Needs paperwork. something. doesn't matter.

I lose. I guess it's just what I do best.

No DSL. I sit. I wait for things to load. I have a violently dynamic IP. I can't put up my nice new Apache server. At least the DSL guy was nice enough to give me a phone jack to plug this mysterious line into. I care not whether it is ours or who's paying for it. Today is my triumphant day; today is the day I show that I need not the 56k connection; the day I win.