user since
Wed Nov 24 2004 at 04:45:20 (19.6 years ago )
last seen
Mon Jan 11 2016 at 19:47:34 (8.4 years ago )
number of write-ups
163 - View Major General Panic's writeups (feed)
level / experience
15 (Keeper of the Seal) / 12457
C!s spent
mission drive within everything
Not get banned? (Accomplished! New goal: Get my merit above 25 again)
Games, music, languages, cooking, computer science, information tech, books, supersession, pretention, Super Smash Brothers
Edmund Burke School, Alex White Consulting
Saepe Tuo Plura Sciens
most recent writeup
The Major's Modular Mac 'N' Cheese
Send private message to Major General Panic

I am fled. I'm sorry. Like everything I have ever truly loved, I love you, forever.

Ten things of mine I'd like you to read. The list is numbered only to give you confidence in my counting abilities.

  1. Alfred Bester
    biography of my favorite author
  2. Ascensus Casusque Sigii Sidorum et Aranearum Martis
    ziggy stardust translation project
  3. Final Fantasy character archetypes
    video game humor
  4. Saying goodbye to my father
    A large part of my identity
  5. Life in Hell
    long-running comic strip
  6. The Lord of the Rings 1/2: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Middle-earth But Were Afraid to Produce
    peter jackson's next big project
  7. May the wine be sweet. May the stories be heard. May the future bring me home.
    an illuminating story
  8. Net Neutrality
    the future of democracy
  9. Orpheus and Eurydice
    my translation of ovid
  10. Super Mario No More
    the truth about mario

I would love to be audited! If you're interested, please tell me.

This is all I ask: if you downvote a node of mine, please tell me why (you can with an upvote, too, if you want; I will write back!). If you explain why you gave a downvote, it's a lot more valuable — you have a good reason in your head why it deserves a downvote, right? Beyond saying whether you approve or disapprove of a node, a vote doesn't really say much to the author. If you want to be an XP whore, vote away and never clarify. But you'll do a lot more to improve the quality of writing here if you message the author and offer suggestions and feedback.

Fun Facts (as of January 6, 2008):

If anybody really cares, I can be contacted on just about every single major instant messaging service as originalawhite. I'm also arksyne on; I'd love to be your "friend."

Please, for the love of God, learn how to use semicolons, colons, and apostrophes. There's little that irritates me more than an otherwise intelligent person who can't get it through his or her head that "it's" is not possessive, never will be, and never should be. When you have a pronoun-apostrophe-ess combination, it's almost invariably a contraction of the pronoun and is, as in "he's going to the park", "she's got a gun", or "it's almost time for the summoning". Don't tell me that because "John's pillow" has an apostrophe-ess, and it's possessive, all apostrophe-esses must be possessive. NO. BAD.

And as for colons and semicolons, they're quite useful. It's like this: if you have two complete sentences that nonetheless are strongly connected, you can put in a semicolon; it helps people understand the way you're thinking. Full colons are used to imply causation or command: use it to your advantage. When you get used to writing them, you can hear them in spoken English. It's quite handy.

In alphabetical order, languages that I know or have known at some point. The ones with 'T's I've taught to others.

Seems to me that I now have a recursive bookmark…but which one is it?

A very partial list of video games that I never managed to beat (which really disappointed me at the time, and maybe still today):

There are more; I just can't remember them right now.

Things people have said to me, (almost) all of which I am really grateful for, and probably undeserving:

allseeingeye says "You did me proud son. A more surreal pineapple I would have trouble crafting."

bol says "You're fucking insane. Do Diamond Dogs next."

Corcis says "Don't trust Elves... is easily one of the most awesome nodes I've ever read. Great work."

Glowing Fish says "I have so many crappy writeups, why do you have to bookmark them?"

jessicapierce says "Honestly, when I saw the topic you were writing about, my brain groaned because so often, reading that shit is PAINful. "noding about noding" is so hard to do well. You've done it. I think you've said exactly what needs to be said on the subject, and put the others to shame."

Junkill says "This is just damned cool. Ziggy Stardust is one of my favourite all-time albums and…well, three years of Latin and my pronunciation is good (but it takes me almost an hour to construct a simple sentence) Extra cool points for you, my friend!"

Kit says "Most 15-year olds are weird, but you must've been an especially weird one."

Kizor says "You, sir, are completely whacko, and twist things into the realm of their own personal illogic.

Melikehockey says "Excuse me? You calling me a liar? The "24 hours thing" can be found on the disclaimer of any ROM site. ROMs are legel [sic] if you own the game, and I played Earthbound for 17 hours before being disgusted by its lame ass battle system, and I beat Seperation [sic] Anxiety in twenty hours. Try checking the lawbooks before you open your mouth again, buttmunch." He's wrong, and those sites are lying. -Ed.

Servo5678 says "I blame you for getting that infernal theme song back in my brain after 10 years of banishment."

TanisNikana says "You've come to be one of my most favorite noders. (And you should put that on your homenode, too!)"

themanwho says "I am not amused at your jumping over me in the other users list."

I propose we adopt programming convention and put single characters in single quotes and strings in double quotes in our writing. It'll be interesting for about a week.

Software you should be using:

These need writeups or rewrites. Please, if one of these gets filled in, tell me so that I can update this list!

Why punch thyself when you'd have more fun spinning the Wheel of Surprise?

more to come...or is it?

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