Mr. T, Mohawk
? Who knew? Everything
talks to the 1-800-COLLECT pitchman
, and the big C by Scott Brown
Pity the fool
who interviews Mr. T. The former ''A-Team
''er, current 1-800-COLLECT caller, cancer survivor
, and born-again
star of the Christian
" called for a round of 10 stupid questions
. But, strangely, all we got was one long answer.
• Thanks for calling --
I never met a microphone
I didn't like. I can't teach what I don't know. I can't lead where I don't go.
• Um, what --
I tell people, ''The only people that don't like a test is the ones that didn't study.'' My test came in 1995 when I was diagnosed with cancer
. That's where my faith
• Uh --
I needed something to test my faith. I needed that fear, because I wasn't afraid of nothin', the livin', the dead, nor the unborn. I been in gunfights
, I been in fistfights
at disco bars. I'm tough, I'm bad. I needed something to test my faith, so here comes cancer. Boom!
Cancer knocked me to my knees. But Scott, let me explain something to you. That was a great position for me to be knocked to, so while I was on my knees, I just kept prayin' and I got my swagger
And that's important for a black man
, to have his swagger back. That means I ain't afraid of nothin', you know.
•So, um --
When I was 9, I was living in the projects on the south side of Chicago
. Drugs and crime was over me, under me, and around me, but drugs and crime was never in me. Why? Because I loved and respected my mother too much. You ain't gonna get me into disrespectin' my mother.
I'm nothin' but a big 48 year old mama's boy
. And I tell 'em, that's a problem in society. We don't have enough mama's boys. If we had more mama's boys, we wouldn't have to rape our women
, you know.
•Guess that makes sense --
said in the 23rd Psalm
, "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
." See, nobody say, "Hey, man, let's go shoppin' in the valley of the shadow of death! Let's go buy a condo in the valley of the shadow of death!
I had to have a setback in order to have a comeback. So that means God.... You might hear somebody say Michael Jordan
might come back. Like Mario Lemieux
, he came back. But Shaquille O'Neal
can't come back, see what I mean?
Because he's playin' already. Me, I just always keep my feet on the ground, my head towards heaven, just help the less fortunate. That's the type of guy I am. I'm a man for the people. Short pause
•Well… thank you. And I pity the fool who tries to tell you otherwise.
You know it, brother. Here's my last little rap. I say, he's big, he's bad, he's black, and he's back: Mr. T.
•You said a mouthful, Mr. T.
Okay, Brother Scott.