We may have succeeded.

Yesterday evening I stepped off the jet, pooped, and found a cab.

The town awaited me. And so, to my surprise, did Gravy. She waved at me in the street. I'd seen her a week ago. For her, nearly a decade had passed.

Chernobrov's device sent her clear back to 2001, which explains why her nodes don't exist in this new reality. It explains a lot. She found she could do little about the research we were sent to disrupt. Oh, she wrote a few letters to key people, but she'd found little evidence that changed anyone's mind. She had to be subtle when not anonymous. A person with specific knowledge of a top secret project draws the wrong kind of attention.

Even if she could have spoken with the people involved, what would she have said? That something will go horribly awry in 2008? We believe it's a one-in-a-million mutation of the project that loosed the virus on the U.S. and, through Kennedy, LaGuardia, and Newark, the rest of the world.

She has money, at least. She recalled a few key stock trends from the era. As time passed, of course, her mere fluttering about had an effect on events. And like me, she sees bewildering creases in reality, images seen through shreds in the fabric of time. One morning the local had a different name, different management. She asked about the change of owners and met with a blank stare.

That evening, the old place had returned.

She didn't call it "the local," of course. She's gone American.

It's over now. I cannot provide the details. It would incriminate all of us. The access codes worked. We've accomplished what we intended.

We've gone our separate ways, aware that memories keep sliding between different realities, the last week seeming a dream during the first moments of wakening. I post from this seedy internet cafe, here out on the dark highway, writing while my memory remains intact.

A middle-aged woman in too much make-up and a plastic hat wishes me a happy new year. Outside I see darkness through snow-splattered glass.

The future, we believe, has been saved. At least for the present, the crisis has passed.

For all of our faults, humanity has so much potential. Welcome 2008, this new 2008, with but flickering remnants of the disaster that visited this year the last time I experienced it.

Happy new year.

Humanity may not be much, but we're the best we have.

Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. This is not sudden to us. We find ourselves turning back to it, in quiet moments. At last, it is time. We now know to keep our aspirations simple, apocryphal; a guard against our own weakness. If we misstep, we can set the whole enterprise ablaze. No record of attempt, no record of failure.

We wake up early, we floss, we try to conquer the world anew. We are conscious of the sag of our skin and the oscillating nature of our senses. We can't imagine dying with so much left undone. We buy organic. We DON'T go to the gym today. We labor in secret. We make excuses for skipping cigarette breaks. We are given bemused looks by those who have wed themselves to stagnation.

We have nothing to lose and everything to gain. We will no longer be experts at failure. We can change.

Happy New Year.

Or not. Maybe I'll just wish everyone a New Year.

Last night, I spent the holiday in my bedroom, alone, reaching out to the world via my computer. As a friend and I instant messaged each other, we decided that 2007 was Officially Horrible. So good bye and fuck off, 2007, we said. On to a bright shiny future, that undoubtedly, will suck just as much.

Okay, so we're pessimists. But there's still a tiny shred of hope in me, hidden under all that negativity. I hope for something better in 2008. I truly do. But if nothing gets better... well, I'm ready for a fight. And that's something, isn't it?

Resolutions are easy to make and even easier to break. I guess that’s ‘cuz for the most part, it’s something you’re making to or for yourself and it’s no big deal should they fall by the wayside. Just like long suffering Chicago Cubs fans, you can chalk it off with a shrug of the shoulders and with the knowledge that “there’s always next year”.

On the other hand, promises seem to be a somewhat different story. They usually involve someone else going out on a limb and placing their trust in you. When that trust is betrayed, it’s usually harder for them to place it back. A heart can be broken only so many times before it’s beyond repair.

On New Year’s Eve I tried to explain to my thirteen year old the difference between the two.

I think she got it when she said something that went like this:

”Ya know Dad, until we die we’re all a work in progress.”

Thanks sweetie, I tend to forget that sometimes.

2008 Goals

  • I will walk/run/bike a distance of 1,000 miles. I know. It seems like a lot. Basically, I need to complete just under 20 miles a week. If I can manage 4 miles on a regular basis and add in a longer weekend run/walk into the mix, I should be able to do it without any trouble. Plus, there's that whole wanting to do a marathon thing. This is a means to an end; a concrete goal that will help me meet some other goals.

  • I will have better posture. I slouch too much. I don't know if its laziness or if its a habit of trying to make myself smaller. More than likely its a matter of trying to keep my breasts from trying to bust through button down shirts. But dude, seriously, check out Nancy Pelosi, that woman has terrific posture. I want that. If you see me slouching, poke me or something. Button popping be damned.

  • I will enroll and attend a Landscape Architecture program beginning in the fall. There are several things that lead up to this, including finishing my portfolio, application letters, etc., then moving, finding a way to pay for said education and more fun.

  • I will make at least 2 batches of wine this year. One will be from grape concentrate and the other will be a fresh fruit that I have to mash, crush, measure, correct, etc. prior to fermentation.

Wish me luck, encouragement, whatever.

Movies and DVD television shows I have watched in 2008

Recommended movies are in bold, movies I did not enjoy are in strikethrough.

  1. 20 Million Miles to Earth
  2. The Apartment
  3. Attack of the 50ft. Monster Mania
  4. Babylon 5
  5. Babylon 5: The Gathering
  6. Bad Santa
  7. Beowulf & Grendel [2005]
  8. The Big Sleep
  9. Blind Fury
  10. Blood In, Blood Out
  11. Boa Vs. Python
  12. A Bridge Too Far
  13. The Caine Mutiny
  14. Cartoon Crazys Goes to War
  15. Charlie Chan in Egypt
  16. City of God
  17. The Clan of the Cave Bear
  18. Colossus: The Forbin Project
  19. The Dark Knight
  20. Dawn of the Dead [2004]
  21. Day of the Dead
  22. Donnie Darko (Director's Cut)
  23. The Dresden Files
  24. The City of Lost Children
  25. Dagon
  26. The Dish
  27. The Descent
  28. Double Indemnity
  29. Ella Enchanted
  30. F for Fake
  31. Family Guy: Blue Harvest
  32. Fido
  33. Forbidden Zone
  34. The Gold Rush
  35. Gone with the Wind
  36. Good-Bye, Lenin!
  37. Hard Target
  38. High Noon
  39. The Hustler
  40. The Ice Pirates
  41. Illegal Aliens
  42. The Incredible Hulk [2008]
  43. Inbred Rednecks Alien Abduction
  44. Intacto
  45. Invader Zim
  46. Irreversible
  47. The Island of Dr. Moreau
  48. The Jack Benny Program
  49. Jeremiah Johnson
  50. King Kong [2005]
  51. Key Largo
  52. Legend
  53. Little Ceasar
  54. Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
  55. Macbeth [1979]
    (love MacBeth, hated this production)
  56. Malena
  57. The Man Who Laughs
  58. The Max Fleischer Superman Cartoons
  59. Metalocalypse
  60. Mr. Blandings Builds his Dream House
  61. Omega Doom
  62. Pan's Labyrinth
  63. The Phil Silvers Show
  64. Pirates: Dead Men Tell Their Tales
  65. The Princess and the Pirate
  66. The Prisoner
  67. Police Squad!
  68. The Public Enemy
  69. Red Sonja
  70. Re-Animator
  71. Scanners
  72. Scary Movie 4
  73. Secretary
  74. The Seven Year Itch
  75. Shaft
  76. Silent Running
  77. The Sisterhood
  78. Slither
  79. Some Like it Hot
  80. Steamboat Round the Bend
  81. Stripes
  82. Targets
  83. There Will Be Blood
  84. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
  85. To Catch a Thief
  86. To Kill a Mockingbird
  87. Treasure Island
  88. Tron
  89. The Twilight Zone
  90. Unleashed
    (AKA Danny the Dog)
  91. Urotsukidoji
  92. V for Vendetta
  93. Videodrome
  94. White Heat
  95. The Wicker Man [1973]
  96. Zatoichi: The Festival of Fire

As of August 9

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