Okay, I guess I know now. The world is coming to an end once again, and they're trying to 'downplay' it, so that there isn't rioting and huge traffic jams of people trying to leave the city. But there are anyway. Traffic jams, at least. For those of you who are as clueless as I was, there is some kind of highly virulent plague on the loose. It attacks all mammals. It started a few days ago in several different equatorial countries, and they think it's airborne, like the common cold, because its spread is following the air currents. It's very fast acting, and nobody has any idea of what it is or how to stop it. Bethesda Maryland is now a ghost town because they shipped some samples to the NIH labs. They messed up somewhere and some of the stuff escaped. Now there's a massive airlift out of nearby Washington D.C. They even issued a national call for volunteer pilots.
I found this out yesterday as I was watching the little contraband Telesurfer at work. Normally I'm not quite that much of a slacker, but there really wasn't very much to do today. Hardly anybody showed up, the place was dead silent, as if the bug had already been there. I'm surprised we still have net access. Either there is some NOC staffed by some really dedicated folks out there, or the new generation smart routers are just that good. I don't know why I'm even writing this. Nobody's going to read it. Everyone is still sitting in a traffic jam just outside city limits, since yesterday. Just like in every disaster movie I've ever seen. People never learn.
I'm not trying to drive out of town for the same reason I don't play the lottery. Any rational assesment of the odds tells me that my chance of succeeding is so vanishingly small that it's not worth the effort. That doesn't mean that I've given up on all options quite yet, though. I have a plan. I'll tell you about it when I work out more of the details. Maybe tomorrow. Now I've got some more reading to do. Know thy enemy, and all that. I've brought my textbook collection with me to work today. Never thought that cell and molecular bio Bachelors would come in handy, but here we are, aren't we? The textbooks are all on DVD, luckily I noticed a dusty old DVD player in the storage room down the hall from the new cleanroom complex. I can probably find something that will read it.
Well, if there is anybody still out there, I wish you the best of luck. Don't despair. If I come up with any useful information I'll post it here, and hope that you do the same.
One more thing, though, I can't resist. I was kind of pacing between the cubicles, taking a break from the barrage of news about this thing that I've been trying to cram into my head. That's when I heard some kind of rythmic motion coming from Ms. Merkledonger's office. She's the executive secretary for the head of Operations. I thought maybe some animal had gotten into the building or something. Her door was unlocked, so I peeked in, and guess what I saw? Oh god. She was totally banging Marty, the temp from Campus Services. She had him buck naked, gagged, and duct taped to her ergoChair. The noises I heard were the ergoChair wheels rolling accross the shag carpeting as she bobbed up and down on top of him. Her back was turned, so she didn't see me. Marty saw me, but I doubt he'll be doing much talking. I just quietly backed away down the hall, and nobody was the wiser. I almost took out my PalmPhone and snapped a picture, but it wasn't worth it. Like, who would I show it to?
It might sound like I'm ripping on Ms. Merkledonger, but I actually think she's a nice lady. She brings in the most awesome cookies to work now and then. I just never knew she had a wild side.
Anyway, hope this brightened your day, fellow mammal. Keep on keeping on.