Editor Log: September 22, 2000

September 22, 2000
Everything Editor Logs
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O dem bones, our editorial dorsal eyestalks vibrate in salutation to the new day. The nodegel is cleansed and reborn. Noders in Canada, Japan, the United States, England, Ireland, New Zealand, Australia, Israel, France, in strange underground caverns, in satellites, space stations, and from within singularities all thrust forth new nodes. The new nodes float above the nodes of memory and then all tumble together in a joyous flurry of hard links and softlinks. See them file in an orderly line through New Writeups before taking off to swirl in the dance of the gel. Dance, nodes, dance!

Hm. I've just deleted a number of very nasty nodeshells and returned them to freegel.

Users have flung their own nodes into the Crypt:

• lost me creative edge, and it's not in the closet! by MegaAaron. (I hope I got the number and position of "a"s right this time. But downvoting the log because I didn't once while reporting on what I did for you is not so cool, neh? After all, it takes me much more time to undo a bad node and then report on it than it takes you to node it.) By request.
• Hydralisk by R3DM3CURY2. By request.
• what do purple monkeys do at night? by different42 and Sylvar and even icicle. Requested by different42. The first wu was pointless. The followups without it are even more so. A strange night apparently, Mon. Aug. 21, 2000. This is the sword that gives life.
• mayhem by Grrr. Nov. 13, 1999 linkless node. Abandoned at birth.
• fucking!!! yes, they were FUCKING in the quiet peaceful serenity of the green bushes along the sidewalk! neighing and "yarp!"ing like wild animals, they were! obscene, I tell you! obscene! by wonko. By request. At -6 before it left New Writeups.
• 'Epilepsy' by little lost star. By request.
• Suggested by tregoweth:
  • User Temp1eton. A Templeton troll attempt.
  • metasyntactic variable by nine9.
  • Pentium by nine9.
  • TLA by setantae.
  • ethylsuphuric acid nodeshell.
  • Tool/A Perfect Circle nodeshell.
• By blaaf, by request
  • Grand Old Party
  • steeping
  • shards of mirror
• Suggested by blaaf:
  • vectormane's 34012224 years old
  • {CaptainSpam] and dysprosium's 2.62074 years old
  • Sinergy and vectormane's XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX rated

Investigated pinky64's situation, deleted nodeshells and so on. Waiting for a msg. Many thanks to wharfinger and whizkid for their help. Dissolved into freegel:

• The OSI Reference Model by Art Tatum. Suggested by whizkid.
• By CaptainSpam, by request:
  • "Ahoj, chtel bych nejako kontracepcni prostredky a klystyrovy v
  • /dev/bsod
  • Antelope Freeway, one-thirty-second mile and Spatch's wu as well.
• Margaret Atwood by neilbert. "My baby loves her." Sweet but pointless. I put links in Pedro's wu.
• Sigh. kammamer posted an identical wu under Margaret Atwood, Gabriel García Márquez, bell hooks, Mario Puzo, Robertson Davies, Doris Lessing. They were at negative XP, so apparently I was not the only one to notice. Back to freegel. I also put links in Pedro's wu here.
• Curious? by Curious. At -6.
• Genetive by dann. By request.
• The best film quotes of all time by Capn. By request.

Celebrated my fucking birthday by the ancient traditions: Tortured, Maimed, and...

Killed: ansomatica's writeup in "Profanity only serves to slow down the speaking of those who's minds cannot keep up to the pace at which they feel they should speak at." It said, in three paragraphs: "Yeah. So there. Right fuckin' on." Senseless. Now a nodeshell.
No, wait. The little pillbug re-noded it. It's now only mostly senseless, but he put a slight bit of explanation, so I'll let one of y'all decide whether to nuke it again.

Killed: gar0u's writeup in Jennifer Love Hewitt's birthday. Belonged in Jennifer Love Hewitt. Now a nodeshell. User now has no writeups, so I reckon he's nuke-fodder.

And speak of the devil...Killed: aresds' writeup in Jennifer Love Hewitt. Total content: "A hot chick - 'nuff said." Actually, 'nuff not said.

Killed: derc's writeup in Unknown Armies. He had nothing to add to the writeup; he was just trying to nodevertise some of his stuff that had a similar title.

Killed: a bunch of writeups by pinky64 because they were dead blank. It appears someone else is trying to pull an asamoth without notifying the Proper Authorities... (I had to quit 'cause I need to free up my phone line, but y'all feel free to pick on him/her, too)

And somebody nuke that damn phonesex nodeshell! (Thank you, knifegirl! MMMMWA!)

/Msg'd: Robert25 about some of his writeups. He's a nice guy and good luck to him. Gave me some ideas for writeups of my own, so MMMWA! to him, too.

Nodes Killed

geekU's something great is going on in this world. The Pixies told me to do it, and I agreed that inane non-capitalized sentences without punctuation were better off sleeping the big sleep.
coaxial. Telling us something sucks without the reason why is a beacon for editorial fiat.
Don't try this at home. Ground Control's writeup ignores the use of this phrase beyond a programming basis, but at least it's worthwhile. geekU's is just wretched in every way that counts - spelling, linking, relevance.
/join RL. Apparently IRC addicts should do this - cute idea, but poor 3-line application.
SunKing's whoo want-uh sum Wang?. Crap crap crap about a relatively fun game.
riot nrrrd. "Shut the hell up, geek."
doritos. Similar.
vulnerability. Can you guess why? Good, I thought you could.
snack hole. One in a limited edition series, and it's becoming even rarer each time I find more of this crap.
yap w/ wu by ximines. Dumb stuff and a dumb response - they both go to the cornfield!
Adam Sandler. Squeal, noder, squeal!
May You Live in Interesting times. Sometimes, people don't learn. And that's when I want to tie their intestines around a tree. Series of one line insults make me have this feeling.
tregar w/ wu by ChesterCramme. A poorly done website plug, and he even managed to make a mistake in the two lines he did write. And we don't need the "Oh, you suck" response either - please don't make bad nodes worse.
Bryn Mawr. It's easily removed as all important information is replicated in the other better writeups.
Woundweavr's does not work with dick in A drive. Content: "Hey it does work with up to three testicles though, so you got that going for ya." I'd feel bad if this was an E1 node, but it's relatively recent and incredibly pointless, so...
fondue's Pierced Eyebrow. Flamebait about its mainstream nature - we don't need one liners of hate and spite.
clipdude's An Occurance at Owl Creek Bridge. It's mispelled.

Nodes for Gods to Delete

Nodeshells for Gods to Delete

I sincerely hope this was a nodeshell rescue - Novalis requests an extinction.
personality by speach
tregar
whoo want-uh sum Wang?

Writeups killed:

• If "cult" religions are so good at mind control, why are their attrition rates so high? by core10k: He agrees with another writeup in the same node. I told him I killed it. My eyestalks droop in sorrow.

• fishthrower by ian1: "A very strange beast. Avoid at all costs if you value your sanity!", no hardlinks. I'm sorry, but that's not a definition. My eyestalks are nonplussed. The user showed up for an hour and a half on the eighteenth, emitted this thing, and hasn't been seen since. I /msg'd him about it at the time, but I don't think he'll be back. Just in case he reappears, I /msg'd him again to notify him about the writeup being killed and to suggest some reading to help him get started on the right foot.

• pinky64 left some empties:

  • Attempting to Urinate with an Erect Penis
  • Baker Street
  • bust out laughing
  • C!
  • catering to the lowest common denominator
  • conservation of knowledge theory
  • Dancing Paperclip
  • dreams
  • geek-boy-who-is-a-champion-of women-in-technology
  • How to get someone to break up with you
  • I just found the X cut-and-paste.
  • If you are an atheist...
  • Learn how to /msg people instead of soft linking stupid shit into their nodes
  • lowercase "l" instead of the numeral "1"
  • Necrophilia 1 on 1
  • Nmap
  • no fur, no ears
  • people who stand in door ways talking really piss me off
  • Quit bitching about the paper clip! It's not that hard to turn it off.
  • Roman grid
  • Sounds cool and means nothing
  • stupid consumer warnings
  • stupid interview questions
  • Technology that gets lost between now and Star Trek
  • the dot in .com
  • The Everything People Registry : Canada : Ontario
  • The kind of guy who would just bend me over a table and fuck me
  • The most awesome winamp plug-in EVER!
  • The point of null concern
  • the stupid thingy button isn't working
  • The worst fortune cookie ever
  • they're all the same except for me
  • things I have found inside computers
  • Things that magically change on Babylon 5
  • Things that make you realize how barbaric we are still
  • Things to Do at Walmart
  • Things you really shouldn't apply to your genitals whilst masturbating
  • urinal etiquette
  • What the hell am I doing?
  • What to do if the Grim Reaper shows up at your door
  • what to do when your car breaks down
  • Why does Windows think it is smarter than me?
  • Why people should stop creating nodes with song lyrics one after another after another

  That's it for me for today, though I'm sure there are more empties. I'll go hunting again tomorrow. I hope all you "I quit"ters out there realize that the editors resent this kind of foolishness exactly as much as people "resent" cleaning up after a new puppy. It's a mild inconvenience, but that's what you expect from a puppy. You're not striking a blow against the unjust power structure. You're just incontinent.

  I C!'d pinky64's repel the advances of ugly chicks because it was way cool. His life was not entirely in vain.

• universal macintosh fix-it tool by pinky64: "Dumpster." Yeah, this guy was a real treasure. I'm crying my eyes out.

• a prod from God by pinky64: "'Ouch!' said the schizophrenic." Whatever.

• cat vomit by donfreenut: "the vomit of a cat. duh." Restating the title doesn't cut it. I informed the artist.

• plagiarism by Kallen: This was a rather long copy'n'paste job, credited. No fair use in sight, unfortunately, because it's good information to have. I asked the user if he had permission, and he got upset. He's sent me nine or ten messages so far. They started out like so: "why don't you step off a cliff and impale on a cloister of dull bed springs." It's a shame he doesn't know what cloister means, but that's really a side issue. He's calming down as he goes on.

Can anybody make any sense out of Schaioun Masit?

Nodeshells: