Send Me Secret Messages!
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Users I admire:
- ukyoCE - Always been a great friend- down with the the E2 Power Structure! (see: June 21, 2001)
- PJ Jules - Down with the the E2 Power Structure!
- clearpebbles - I miss DMan too...
cureobsession wishes to be borged........
cureobsession knows dannye is on.........i can feel him........
<dannye> You think I'm the only one that borgs your dumb ass?
<cureobsession> dannye, i said nothing of the sort, read what i say more closely. don't assume shit
<anotherone> (The chatbox is filled with silence as the noders are taken aback at cureobsession's words.)
- bigmouth_strikes - "There's already Encyclopedia Britannica."
All Time Lows:
All these downvotes and not one /msg! Way to go assholes and their inability to grasp the long term! Feel free to downvote too:
-10 - AID$ - The Politically Correct Virus - We don't agree with it, we downvote it.
-5 - has a lot of potential - So you don't get it? So what, move on.
Node Heaven Reputation: +526
- Let me get you a nice cold glass of shut the hell up
- How appropriate, you fight like a cow!
- The management reserves the right to fuck for crack
- another fucking growth opportunity
- How Team Jet-Poop Eats a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup
- how I hotwired my turntable
- Ey, I ain't no fuckin pedestrian, I'm straight; got it?
- the word ass has thousands of connotations, all of which i will explain, in detail, right now
- the Twinkie Turing test
- Nudes for Nerds. Smut that Matters.
- Don't lock your keys in your car
- I'm gonna kick yo ass in the head
- If my roommate doesn't keep his hands off my shit, I'm gonna fuck him up
- Fun things to yell in the background when your friend's on the phone
- Joke: Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus
- You'd better put jam in your pockets, General, because we're about to be toast!
- There may be no "I" in "team"...
- girls are evil
- a game which involves running around at night with white plastic chairs
- Talking like a pirate is fun but annoys people
- Studies Suggest Homosexuals Strikingly Similar to Actual Human Beings
- jamming a pair of scissors into your crotch repeatedly
- If you're going to complain about store policy, don't do it to the employees!
- how to turn a dorm room into a place suitable for human habitation
- How to tell when your dog just wants to be friends
- if you work in customer service, you will eventually deal with stupid people
- Mars To Venus: Back Off
- Whee! I'm Dick Tracy! Bang! Take that Pruneface! Now I'm Pruneface, take that Dick Tracy! Now I'm Prune Tracy, take that Dick Fa-
- creative metaphors to describe the act of taking a shit
- Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
- the kind of horse that would bend me over the table and fuck me
- Conan O'Brien's Commencement Speech for the Harvard Class of 2000
- Kids In The Hall Quotes
- EDB is a dirty slut
- "Hey, faggot!"
- what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger
- What doesn't kill you can only fuck you up for a really, really long time
- I Sucked A Lot Of Cock To Get Where I Am
- worlds most flexible programming language
- Concise Guide to Forgetting How much You Suck
- Oh, Oh, Oh To Touch And Feel Virgin Girls Vaginas And Hymens
- if you can't spell, you're an idiot. "original ideas" don't come from idiots.
- How to make an F-16 from a cereal box, some scotch tape, and a penny
- Face to Face with a Raccoon
- Why I Like to Touch Myself
- How to write an episode of Dukes of Hazzard
- I'm here to chew ass and kick bubble gum, and I'm all out of ass!
- You're laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka down.
- When I realised the 90s were truly over
- if you work in customer service, you will eventually deal with stupid people
- comprehensive list of black jewish celebrities having at least one glass eye
- A Man's Answer to the Vaginal Yeast Infection Commercials
- My washcloth is like my vagina.
- I'm not pregnant, but thanks for asking.
- The Roommate from Hell War Node
- Replace any word in a movie title with "Vagina" for your amusement
- I dated a phone sex operator
- I got kicked out of a focus group
- DMan is a tool of the International Communist Party!
- More hips! (or what I did last night)
- how it was that I ran out of money during the NY noder gathering
- It just so happens that I jumped out the street car back to campus when there was a big gay festival going on, so I missed out on all the $1.25 antics, but at least I met some nice druggies on the way back
- Flirting with the mail server
- How to avoid saying, "I love you."
- Never Contradict the Fuhrer
- God sends beer, the Devil sends more beer
- Choose your next witticism carefully Mr. Bond, it may be your last!
- Never argue with an idiot. They bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
- What dogs do to dead fish
- perdedor HAD too many damned bookmarks, but then SOMEBODY deleted them all nt
- Do you know what the QUEERS are doing to our soil?
- Lowering Little Children into open manholes
- The birth of leadership, an ASCII pic
- If you don't like your college, then GO SOMEWHERE ELSE AND QUIT COMPLAINING!
- obscure Simpsons reference that no one gets
- geek frat boys
- I can't remember what I was going to node nt
- That time I was almost killed by scary cult children
- Al Gore - Quotes
- you know what they say about homophobes..
- friendships buzzing with sexual tension
- fuck me gently with a chainsaw
- A Deer in the Dorm
- Water Balloon Olympics from the Tenth Floor
- Reasons why vinyl is better than CDs
- When life gives you lemons, grab it by the fucking throat and demand better
- my favorite chemistry joke
- yellow is the opposite of blue
- Why fucking cows is a bad idea
- Hut of brown, now step down
- My name is Inigo Montoya. You downvoted my node. Prepare to die.
- How to tell a girl just wants to be friends
- IS YOUR TEENAGER CONCERNED ABOUT INEQUALITY AND POLLUTION? CALL A DRUG COUNSELOR
- The Greatest Massively Multiplayer Online Game Never Made
- How to win the gold and make a baby cry.
- I considered cutting my toenails, but they're my only natural defense
- 10 questions to ask myself after waking up in a dumpster
- How not to drive a hard bargain
- Fraternity Guy Mission Statement
- urinal challenge
- Infinity = 47.2 rods
- thing my aunt gave me which I don't know what it is
- Worst Break-Up line of all time
- The Ten Things I Learned Freshman Year at College
- Why Magic: The Gathering is better than sex
- What I learned in college thus far
- It's obvious you've never owned a penis
- The Dumbest Things I Heard In High School
- I have hit a new low
- At least things can't get any worse
- Everything I learned about life I learned from MORTAL KOMBAT!
- I still have the skull of the one that tried to bite my leg off
- Roommate agreement forms...
- The Teach Yourself to be a Dummy in 24 Hours Bible
- dem bones is a jackass nt
- How to Be a Charismatic Cult Leader
- Lesbian cow techniques (...or That makes a cow do what?!)
- I'm training my little half brother to take over the world
- personality as birth control
- "shit, it talks, I'm out of here"
- I just got FUCKED over by the cops
- poetry is something writers do when they can't write
- Perhaps you would like to meet your evil twin!
- punch thyself - Warning: will lose 1 XP per punch
- Bob's Quick Guide to The Apostrophe, You Idiots
- She dumped me when she found out I'd been faking my Scottish accent
- Twenty-three good things about pickles and dirt
- Microwaving CDs
- The items that didn't make it to GW Bush's Top Ten List
- How to hurt yourself on one of those giant inflatable bouncy things
- The principles of nuclear weapon safety and meeting girls are remarkably similar - One of the nodes that actually deserve all +100 votes.
- 50-year-olds who think 100 lines is not a lot of code
- How to properly assemble a combat insertion team
- Why programmers confuse Halloween and Christmas
- How to amuse yourself on public transportation
- Simple rules for dating one of my daughters - Warning: moJoe's wu at 95.
- Creating a password to convince yourself you have traveled back in time
- Sometimes, my paranoia overtakes me and I find myself asking, "IS ONE OF THE E2 EDITORS OUT TO GET ME!?"
- God Overrules Supreme Court Verdict
- My Fascinatingly Detailed Teen Angst Bullshit Day Log - Part 1
- Toothpicks: Harmless tools useful in maintaining dental hygiene, or HORRIBLE, DEADLY WEAPONS!?
- Sean Connery encounter
- SOY! SOY! SOY! according to the Babel Fish
- Babel Fish Engrish
- How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?
- REAL WAR: Civilization Threatened!!
- I was a prisoner in a Mexican whorehouse
- and i was like fuck you dept. store and then i flew away nt - The title says it all!
- When the aliens attack my workplace, I'm going to be so damn READY
- Why George W Bush is not the anti-Christ
- Why did so many animals return to the sea (check the softlinks to get this, good job karmaflux!)
- HOWTO: Lay the Smack Down
- wrapped in barbed wire and shot into the sun
- odd characters: The Boy Who Cried Censorship
- how to get rid of a tailgater
- I will REMOVE the fucking toilet seat if you don't shut up - Warning: moJoe's wu at 400 and yam's at 130
- I assure you, everything is .99 cents
- When Jet-Poop Nuked Guest User
- Real Men Don't Rape Cows
- Tell me why you're an idiot
- 101 people I would use my Q powers to lay - I started making a list (with reasons) for this, got around 50 and decided some asshole god would nuke it as GTKY (I'm not mentioning any names dannye)
- Until today, it really pissed me off that I'd become this totally centered Zen Master and nobody had noticed - Warning: 173 rep
- node some bumper stickers you've seen that have had an impact on you
- I don't care if you bring in the state militia, the volunteer fire department, the LA Thunderbirds, the ghost of Steve fucking McQueen, and ten fucking Roman gladiators, so long as we get credit nt
- IN THE GRIM FUTURE OF HELLO KITTY, THERE IS ONLY WAR.
- Fist of Shiva
- Men's guide to what a woman really means
- That kinda Star Trek emergency power/battle stations lighting sorta thing
- under normal circumstances, the Jewish community does not seek converts
- funny chatterbox snippets
- a scary experience while tripping on DXM and riding the Greyhound bus
- The Single Sickest Joke Ever - I USED to have a couple very funny, very sick jokes here until one of the asshole gods nuked it (I don't even know which one)
- Technology that gets lost between now and Star Trek
- If all the Chinese jumped at once, would cataclysm result?
- There Was a Customer Today
- intelligent design doesn't mean perfect design
- Original Sin
- Christian Urban Legends
- God can create a stone so heavy even he can't lift it
- God won't take the time to sort your ashes from mine
- Revenge of "Christians don't believe"
- Being a Christian is magical and foolish. Maybe we're all caught up in a collective psychosis.
- Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God
- How can a thinking, rational adult be religious?
- religion is a crutch for weak people
- atheism is a crutch for weak people
- Beyond Belief: Christian Arguments for God's Existence
- Beyond Belief: Why God Cannot Exist
- Homosexuality as a Sin
- The difference between Satanism and Satan worship
- The Life, Death, and Resurrection of Christ
- The fact that the Bible contains Adult Situations has already occurred to others
- Let's face it, the Hebrew Bible is not for wusses
- The Dalai Lama is not the leader of Buddhism
- sometimes I am embarrassed to be Christian
- Stop Trying to Convert People!
- The meek shall inherit the Earth
- you don't have to believe in Jesus or God to get into Heaven
- Even God doesn't have the right to utterly destroy children
- Everyday I Leave Ten Dollars on the Table
- being an atheist does not necessarily make you a daring, original, freethinking genius
- Thomas Jefferson on freedom of religion
- Jesus doesn't care if you say the word "fuck"
- I'm wishing Jesus was here again
- The mutual problem of Christians and feminists
- Religion doesn't exist just so that people can be told what to think
- Christians don't believe that "being good" gets anyone into Heaven
- Top ten ways the Bible would be different if it were written by college students
- How to prove the Bible is wrong
- The Top 15 Signs You're Too Old to Still Be a Virgin
- You turn the atmosphere wild with currents of vitriol when you smile at the passing insects nt
- damnit, I am so sick of reading about other noders enjoying human companionship
- the revolution will not be televised
- i miss you, damn you for being so damn amazing
- Do these nails through my wrists make me look fat?
- If animals weren't meant to be eaten, they wouldn't be made of meat!
- Don't be sexy. I said stop that.
- Decrying political correctness without an understanding of its causes and intended consequences is little more than racism muttered under one's breath
- If someone wants to do something and it isn't hurting you...DON'T BE A FUCKING DICK
- the snowglobe effect
- You're a 13 year old, not an adult
- Beautiful things that have made you cry
- I have asked my library to ban a book
- Thoughts on Hate Crimes
- "Beautiful" is almost as misused as "love"
- To all you so-called "logical" motherfuckers:
- My female offspring shall remain chaste until menopause
- my mind is so vast I can hear the ocean
- Some of our best friends are three minutes long
- looking for baggage that goes with mine
- A Trucker's Last Letter - this is probably the most moving thing I've read on E2, or ever for that matter.
- 10 Reasons Why I am Single
- sitting in the rain at night
- I can't tell the girl I love that I love her
- 10 questions tell me who I am
- What is it like to have a crush on someone?
- If You Won't Leave Me, I'll Find Someone Who Will
- I am a heartless fool.
- To Remember Me
- do not fall in love with Laura and do not let Laura fall in love with you
- people's secrets show in their eyes
- faking an orgasm does NOT make sense
- You're Dripping Liquid Sex into My Cherry Coke
- the light hurts, why won't it touch us gently?
- Girls Ain't Nothing But Trouble
- I can't stop thinking about her
- Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town
- She Loved Me Like A Friend, That's All
- I Fell Madly In Love And All I Got Was This Bag Full Of Memories
- The True Story of How Everything2 Saved My Life
- I Am He that Aches with Love
- geeks make good boyfriends (they do, i promise!)
- chicks dig scrawny pale guys
- lunch with a chinese girl
- the girl you want to be your girlfriend
- men who judge women by their books
- damp sinuous streets
- On the beach, by myself. How it turned out.
- I threw away our friendship because I was an ungrateful bastard
- how can i be pussy whip'd i'm a virgin and i'm not getting laid any time soon
- I left you a note and you replied to it
- The guy who may as well already be dead and therefore doesn't care about the consequences of his actions and is able to move with perfect freedom for the remainder of what will likely be a tragically short life
- I don't want to be a weeping mass of emotion, but I am
- I often wonder if I am closer to reality simply for being poorer
- The problem with people who think life is inexpressibly beautiful is that they so often try to express it anyway
- following your heart feels good
- Dizzy and Katyana's Wedding Vows
- Practice Random Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty
- yom kippur and this gentile
- Blind faith in Science is just as bad as blind faith in Religion
- Imagine the prettiest thing you've ever seen. Now make it glow.
- What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about
- violence is the first refuge of people who have better things to do than argue
- The true meaning of Civil Disobedience
- you better put some beauty back, while you've got the energy
- Driving an SUV is comparable to owning a handgun
- Oops, I can't find my best friend.
- Why am I the only guy without a girlfriend?
- Why don't you drink?
- I know the story of your walk ... and the colors you choose to paint your day
- I've had better hugs from wind gusts and dead people
- I could never live anywhere that didn't have well defined seasons
- Life is too short for women with issues.- atleast I keep telling myself this, see:
- Your stupid little heart will embrace only assholes
- Don't touch me when I'm screaming
- Stop with the "pot is healthy - gay is not a choice" bullshit, we are what we are
- landfill mining
- Why i want to have children
- Why Every girl on the entire planet has a boyfriend
- Do you really think voting for a third party candidate is going to "send a message"
- So - you've been making love to me ten thousand miles away - how tantalizing.
- We were lovers and I hadn't realized it. How strange to have a paper love.
- No married man kisses his wife like that
- the tide that turns the sea
- repeat until dead
- When you tell a friend you love her and she says, lets just be friends
- Don't force your not forcing one's philosophy on others philosophy on me
- The future comes screaming and shattered, fragmented, howling through midnight cobblestone streets
- AU - it doesn't mean gold, or astronomical unit.
- Pontius Pilate
- Don Quixote
- Flatland: Table of Contents
- The Rime of the Ancient Mariner
- The Great Gatsby
- Brave New World
- Knowing is half the battle!
- Interpretations of the lyrics to American Pie
- For he today that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother
- If could go back in time and kill Hitler, would you?
- ways people avoid confronting political reality
- movies that make you want to cry alone in a dark room for hours
- Things to do to salvage a shitty day
- Home, Home on the Range
- you do not have a right to not be offended
- Eskimos do NOT have 40 words for snow
- In Event of Moon Disaster
- Geniuses for manual labour
- Why would anyone want to be Republican?
- The UN should butt out - Here here to America's independence! See also:
- The USA reserves the right to go to war with the United Nations
- "gay" being used as an adjective for something bad
- Militant Vegan Fuckers
- People who drive SUVs are inconsiderate
- [Braille on ATMs - I thought about the mass-production thing too, I'll have to check mine out sometime...
- Aspects of American Society That May Be New to You
- Stupid Unix Tricks
- Psalm 46
- How to fight and not get your ass kicked
- How to fake your own death
- How to hypnotize someone
- The Great DoS Against Undernet 2001
- My Theory of Roses
- 36 Things Admissions Never Told You
- The Sex Jar Idea
- a yawn is one eighth of an orgasm
- What to do if you're stopped by the police
- Why shouldn't men look at women's breasts?
- Things that MUST happen in Episodes 2 and 3
- Problems with Ralph Nader
- CIA World Factbook
- Your failure to socialise may be due to the fact that you're not hanging out at the right places
- Idiot protestors who blame the police
- general election
- Go put your email address in your homenode right now. Here's why.
- How to Get a Copy of Your FBI File
- With every passing day I drift further and further away from mainstream culture
- I'd like a new lease on life, please.
- How to solve a Rubik's Cube
- How to kick ass at a job interview
- The interrupted-at-breakfast theme in Pulp Fiction
- Geek's Guide to Working Out
- If you don't want to read about vaporware,
- How to Escape a Sinking Car
- The Bottom Two Layers of Ethernet
- Beej's Guide to Network Programming
- Excuse me. I need to go on a fucking rant here
- The US Still Maintains A Military That's Formidable
- Deus Ex Metanode
- The Truth Behind Doritos Flavors
- Suicidal Teens Fucking Piss Me Off
- the best line ever in an instrumental
- How to Get Out of a Ticket
- How to write an "A" paper with minimal effort
- Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee
- how to get a date
- The do babies know math experiment
- Stealing a girlfriend
- The impact on society of the discovery of extraterrestrial intelligence
- The pi defense
- how to use amihotornot to find amateur porn
- how to tell whether a figure can be drawn in one stroke
- as time progressess, the probability of a given node becoming labelled as "getting to know you" and thus being nuked approaches one
- You can't buy Sudafed and Vick's VapoRub at the same time at Costco
- What to do if you've got too many votes on your hands
- dragging a disk to the trash to eject it on a macintosh
- Indiana Jones' Crusade for the Perfect Female, or Why We Go Grail-Hunting
- ping yahoo
- guys who can't unhook a bra
- why it's rude to open a door for a woman
- If the only tool you have is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail
- if the only sexual organ you have is a penis then everything looks like a vagina
- what happens when a girl asks you to call and you don't
- Music need not be popular to be good
- Music need not be unpopular to be good
- If you didn't have free will, would you know it?
- Sorting Algorithms
- why strapping buttered toast to a cat's back will not produce infinite power
- The do babies know math experiment
- Suicide is a legitimate option in a case like this.
- How to disappear completely and never be found
- how to turn a dorm room into a place suitable for human habitation
- Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia
- shotgun house
- Carrying a knife through airport security
- large number
- Why ICQ is better than AIM
- ping pong balls are flammable
- shishang xiaofei kuangchao
- the theory that Venus came into our solar system relatively recently
- Is Homo sapiens the most advanced species?
- Life in Northampton, Massachusetts
- I'm pretty sure girls want sex
- President Nixon's statement following the failure of Apollo 11
- some advice on girls by a girl : the simple stuff
- Militant Fuckers of Any Sort
- Notes from the Road: I-80 West, Jersey to Nevada (Iowa excluded)
- It's hard to get C!-ed when you're a boring programmer - First wu is great, next two just don't get it. See also:
- AID$ - The Politically Correct Virus - First wu is great, next two just don't get it. See also:
- I'm moving out of New York if Hillary Clinton wins
- How to Play any Guitar Chord
- Why is rape only wrong when a man commits it?
- movie piracy
- Revenge of Nature Trail to Hell (in 3-D): A Very Appalachian E2 Gathering... OF DOOM!
- The "Fuck You, Clown!" Story
- How to determine whether a number is divisible by 3
- Beer and Circus
- How to get past the alarm gates in retail stores]
- HOWTOs on Everything]
- The really frickin long nodename meta node
- Everything2 Tic Tac Toe
- Secret Nodes
- Node for the Ages
- E2 server facts
- Why do people vote nodes down?
- Everything is Elitist
- The Pirates Of Everything
- I can't believe this got C'ed
- E-mail forwards should be noded using the "everyone" account
- Posting your life on Everything2 is a dumb idea if people know who you are in real life
- what happens if my mom finds e2
- The Everything Library
- So You Want To Quit Everything2
- I DON'T quit
- E2 voting philosophy - I just never downvote.
- Is Everything a virtual Encyclopedia or a virtual Soapbox?
- hit by the realization that they are all getting to know you nodes
- I am clueless about everything2