I can’t believe
that I belong
to. I made an effort
to be home
when I could have been at my boyfriend’s
house eating Chinese
food, my favourite. I get home and aunties and uncles and cousins are all about, sitting and chatting in the family room. I walk
in, basically into the CENTRE
of the room and say ‘hi everyone
’, and they all totally ignore
me, which isn’t a surprise
. It is time
and I’m at the ‘kids
’ table as there is no room
on the other table, only my sister
sits down and eats with me. An aunty comes by to give lollies to all the kids, I get some too, because you know I’m equivalent to an under 8 yr old child
. It starts to get cold
outside, we go inside and sit at the table, again there is no room for me. My cousin walks past
me and doesn’t even make eye contact
. I decide to go have some interaction
with people by going online
to chat with my boyfriend
Everyone has left and my parents notice that I’m in the house, they then have the nerve to complain to me that I’m a snob, that I don’t say hello to anybody. What more can I fucking do than enter into the centre of a room and say hello to everyone in the room? Normally when someone enters a room, the people in the room turn around to see who has walked in and say hello in order for the new comer to say hello back. My parents continue to complain that I don’t speak to my cousin. Well gee, it is a bit difficult to speak to someone that doesn’t fucking even make eye contact with you, what the fuck am I supposed to do, jump in front of their face so that they can’t possible BE looking at anything else!, just to get their attention!?, fuck that!, they’re not worth it!.
It absolutely pisses me off that my parents think it is all my doing. I have a headache by the end of the night and am trying to get to sleep but mum decides to start cleaning and vacuuming the house.
More annoyances during the night is when I’m speaking to someone, and mum comes along and starts speaking to the person that I was having a conversation with, as if I don’t exist. That is what I call rude and disrespectful, then she has the nerve to complain to me that I’m the rude and disrespectful one? Because you know, I can’t possibly interrupt any of HER conversations!!!
I seriously don’t know why I bothered to come here.
I hate Christmas because of the family gatherings, I hate my family, I hate this place and I don’t want to be here. I’m so lucky to finally have a place to turn to. To have someone to turn to.
My parents asked me if I act the same way (ie. rude and anti social etc according to them) when I’m at my boyfriends place, I said no, they don’t ignore me.
I would rather be with my boyfriend’s family instead of mine because …….
- When I walk in a room, they would turn around and say hello
- When I’m speaking to someone, no one would start speaking to the person I’m speaking to as if I wasn’t there.
- I won’t be expected to kiss anyone I don’t like. (I come from a big woggy family where this is a custom, 'woggy' is an australian term it seems for someone from a european descent displaying actions eg. the way one dresses and talks in a stereotypical fashion)
- I can meet his whole family without them having met mine, and there is so speculation of the degree of ‘seriousness’ of our relationship, or any expectations.
- I can walk around with my boyfriend and no one will look at us as if we are strange, where – as with my family they would look upon us as strange couple and as something weird.
- Finally I can feel comfortable around his family, they are a lot easier to talk to since they speak English and even some older members of his family are fans of Lano and Woodley !
- My actions or behaviour will not be frowned upon or complained about.
May be this all sounds petty, but I haven’t been having a good weekend. Work is shit because the manager hasn’t put anyone extra to work for Christmas time, which means the people who are already working have to work over time to get stuff done and not get paid for it, and people like me who need extra shifts don’t get any. At least I had some enjoyment, I got to spend my spare time with my boyfriend watching movies.
On another matter, I’ve updated my home node. I’ve also updated my favourite node of mine and another node that people didn’t seem to like, so hopefully with the changes people will also change their minds.
I’m off to spend money that I don’t have.