I'm still trying to figure out what happened last night; I'm still trying to figure out how much of it I should describe, how many details I should put in, whether it should go in the Hyde Park node i'm working on. The participants didn't mind me writing in my notebook, but they were drunk, and one of the people was a shy nethead who'd only been in Oz three years... so he may go here, or a place like it, and I wouldn't want to upset him.

In my creative writing class, my teacher talked about 'Australian grunge lit'-- stories about teenagers doing nothing, having sex, doing drugs. I laughed at that, wondering why that would be important, how Australia could be 'sordid' at all. I still don't think 'grunge' is the right term, but spending Saturday night with a group of high schoolers in Ramones and Dead Kennedys shirts as they drink cheap alchohol from the bottle and have sex in a public park does change your perspective on things.

A writer ought to have experiances. There was nothing going on last night; i didn't have copies of the free music papers I read, and the bar near the uni was dead and boring. I took a bus into the city, figuring I'd walk until something happened. I know my way around Sydney; its a reasonably safe place. There's always bars and clubs open, if I could find them.

They were standing outside a bar, and they looked pretty cool. I asked them if there was a band playing nearby, I asked why they were dressed like punks (Converse All Stars, the afromentioned band shirts)-- it was like a uniform. They said there wasn't a band, they were too young to drink, they were heading to the park. I said 'I'm bored. I'm coming with'. They dubbed me Andy, after a boy they met last week.

(I am gettting to the point where I describe physically, and i'm not sure how much to tell. Ages? How hot one of the girls looked? Chance remarks have gotten me into trouble before; let us say that I did nothing illegal, as they had already bought the alchohol and any action did not involve me. And how did i become the older, wiser one? I'm 19, and the only reason I wasn't doing stuff like that with my friends was because I skipped off to a little bubble in the woods)

There was alcohol and sex, and it was horrendously important to the people involved. Started fun and random, ended on drama and tears-- though two, who were encouraging me in my writing, noted the events dispassionatly. As with all people i find, they were intelligent, beneath it all-- i was reminded a bit of the kids in Jon Katz's book 'Geeks'; they were losers but they were appealing; there was nothing else to do last night.

I'm daylogging this to organize it in my head; I'm romantasizing a night not spent home with Pixelships and porn (but it takes an odd sort of intelligence to want to do something, be somewhere). Hyde Park is beautiful; they shouldn't have done what they did. One got chased by a homosexual who hit on him after telling good stories; I still can't imagine Sydney being sordid; tommorow I will arrange this and make it interesting.

What am i missing? I forgot much of last night; i'm faced with the problem of seeing things; my mind has been warped by Ulysses and The Illuminatus! Trilogy; I could follow the guidelines of a similar mental state in the former novel, but I can't do it justice; the things twist upon themselves; am I glad nothing happened or annoyed? Was i there as a guy wanting to have fun or a writer wanting material he will not turn into anything good? Will i show up next Saturday?

(i'm dancing around the guilt from fucking up my final papers, dancing around the sense that i'm slim slow sliding my potential into oblivion; i'm already getting too old for some things; they are not my life, but they correspond with people i knew at the Bubble, none who I think are here; his pants were tottally off and he looked sad, though she was tottally hot, a teen wet dream fairytale in thigh high white boots, short skirt, and a tight sweater. She was out of it, drunk, his pants were tottally off and they were tottally doing it in the bushes; anybody could have seen but I don't think they did; Sydney isn't that sort of place; i've been here 9 months and already this city is choking in my memories of it)