I just got a Spanish video from Maryland signed by the FAMOUS bob the cow and Queequeg!
Team Jet-Poop received an
ominous,
bulging package in the
mail today. The
return address was from
Bethesda, Maryland, and the Collective has a number of enemies in the
Old Line State, so we had Todd open it, in case it was a
bomb. It was, luckily, not a bomb.
First, the note:
"Querido Equipo Jet-Poop,
This is a gift. Don't think of it so much as a bribe, but more as an offering to an E2 God (Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge). Also enclosed are "adhesive strips" (known to the laymen as "stickers") from Queequeg's private collection. They are worth approximately $23,000 collectively. The video, on the other hand, is worth absolutely nothing.
Muchas piratas,
Bob the Cow
Queequeg"Here's what was enclosed: a
videotape called "
Vaya par de Idiotas", also known as the
Spanish-language version of "
Kingpin", and five
stickers -- one small
cat sticker and four very small
penguin stickers, which we had
appraised and which are indeed worth
$23,000.
The
movie was quite
interesting -- the changes made to the original were much more
extensive than just
dubbing the lines in Spanish. For example, the roles of
Roy Munson and
Claudia, originally performed by
Woody Harrelson and
Vanessa Angel, are played by
Ricardo Montalban and
Charo in the Spanish version. There are also several scenes added of mating
cattle and a new
subplot involving several kilos of
cocaine and the guy who hosts "
Sabado Gigante."
An added
bonus was the numerous
odd stick-figure cartoons drawn on the back of the
envelope. They included:
Queequeg working at the
computer;
bob the cow being menaced by the
PacMan-esque
EDB; a cartoon
heart inscribed with the initials "
BTC" and "
TJP";
Queequeg dancing in a field of
XP (
Queequeg apparently has
naturally curly hair);
bob the cow sending
waves of love toward
Team Jet-Poop (who all look profoundly
disturbed by this development); a
smiley face wearing a
fez and inscribed, helpfully, "
thefez"; and a
happy, sleeping
Furby (written to the side is "
mmmm... furby").
Hey, thanks,
Team Bethesda! Your new
Level 14 powers are on the way!
Damn, we thought we were finished with our Christmas shopping for this year... Is there anything good left at Gibson's?