I just got a Spanish video from Maryland signed by the FAMOUS bob the cow and Queequeg!

Team Jet-Poop received an ominous, bulging package in the mail today. The return address was from Bethesda, Maryland, and the Collective has a number of enemies in the Old Line State, so we had Todd open it, in case it was a bomb. It was, luckily, not a bomb.

First, the note:

"Querido Equipo Jet-Poop,

This is a gift. Don't think of it so much as a bribe, but more as an offering to an E2 God (Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge). Also enclosed are "adhesive strips" (known to the laymen as "stickers") from Queequeg's private collection. They are worth approximately $23,000 collectively. The video, on the other hand, is worth absolutely nothing.

Muchas piratas,
Bob the Cow
Queequeg"


Here's what was enclosed: a videotape called "Vaya par de Idiotas", also known as the Spanish-language version of "Kingpin", and five stickers--one small cat sticker and four very small penguin stickers, which we had appraised and which are indeed worth $23,000.

The movie was quite interesting--the changes made to the original were much more extensive than just dubbing the lines in Spanish. For example, the roles of Roy Munson and Claudia, originally performed by Woody Harrelson and Vanessa Angel, are played by Ricardo Montalban and Charo in the Spanish version. There are also several scenes added of mating cattle and a new subplot involving several kilos of cocaine and the guy who hosts "Sabado Gigante".

An added bonus was the numerous odd stick-figure cartoons drawn on the back of the envelope. They included: Queequeg working at the computer; bob the cow being menaced by the PacMan-esque EDB; a cartoon heart inscribed with the initials "BTC" and "TJP"; Queequeg dancing in a field of XP (Queequeg apparently has naturally curly hair); bob the cow sending waves of love toward Team Jet-Poop (who all look profoundly disturbed by this development); a smiley face wearing a fez and inscribed, helpfully, "thefez"; and a happy, sleeping Furby (written to the side is "mmmm...furby").

Hey, thanks, Team Bethesda! Your new Level 14 powers are on the way!

Damn, we thought we were finished with our Christmas shopping for this year...Is there anything good left at Gibson's?