A book by British author Martin Millar.

After imbibing too much whisky and magic mushrooms, two punk Scottish thistle fairies find themselves lost in New York City, where they befriend Denny, a fat misogynistic slob (who also happens to be the worst fiddle player in New York). Unaware that there is a price on their heads back in Scotland and that armies of fairies are amassing to try to forcibly return them, the fairies cause chaos amongst their fellow winged citizens in America.

A funny and slightly surreal take on Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, it's well worth a read if you enjoy sci-fi / fantasy.

You know us. You see us, hear us, smell us, feel us everyday... we're the ones who can't tear our eyes from you in Union Square Park at four 'o clock on a Tuesday afternoon, observationally glued to your essence in that way that ought to scuff the shoes of your solar plexus, but it doesn't. We're the regulars at your smoky dive regaling you with drunken tales of sex and sorrow, filling the loopholes in your long-pondered theories with five-line factuals you can't figure out why you'd never figured out before. Money is, money isn't, but you can afford it; we are the bartenders taking care of you, neat or on the rocks. We know when this day has beaten you down, and we kick the asses of the prototype succubi of this cutthroat town. This New York belongs to us.

We are everywhere... the Bowery bums searching for agape in the eyes of strangers, lovers out too late at night, the ignorant muses of the previously writers'-blocked. The previously writers'-blocked. We're the Times Square cabbies who sparkle like headlights off the Hudson when a surprising native flags us down. We don't mesh with the predictable madness of St. Mark's; you don't either, and we smile at you. We are the uptown moguls and Wall Street suits lost in the Village, purchasing lone cigarettes from the pierced poets, unknowingly funding the cup of coffee that fuels them to write The Revelation. We are the broken revolutionaries of the Lower East Side; we know when our jade must stay subdued so as not to break a little bit of you. We steal eye contact on the subway and let you eavesdrop, unintentional. You will wonder how Williamsburg ruined Emily as you crawl into bed, wishing you hadn't turned off at 29th.

We are all anonymous here, wondering if this is Babylon or just another misunderstanding. You will, too. We are pieces of God in plaid in makeup bankrupt on drugs in love, and we peek into your dreams, leading you on and leaving you grinning as you wake to the onomatopoeic coincidissonance of the fire sirens and glaring alarm clocks. You spend all day wondering if tonight when you finally sleep we might consummate.

Ours is a ceremony of upward glances, glittering concrete and flicked cigarette ash, silent consecrations on the city streets. Foul words, fine whiskey... we are worth our saintly weight in stories and sin.

Find us and we'll let you in.

A light, fun comedy novel featuring an introduction by Neil Gaiman (added in 2004) who praises it and regrets not having read it sooner.

In modern times, fairy kingdoms exist though mostly invisibly to humans. Two Scottish fairies and a band of Cornish fairies have run away from Great Britain and are hiding out in New York City each to escape certain difficulties back home. The Scottish fairies are best friends though they belong to different clans, but they fall out from time to time due to their intense competitiveness. They are being pursued for having destroyed certain clan treasures, by accident of course. The Cornish fairies, on the other hand, have escaped from an increasingly brutal forced-labor regime lately instituted by the fairy monarchy in Cornwall. The king, guided by a nefarious advisor, orders all fairies to work in factories making fairy things to trade in international markets. The refugees include the king's heirs and some rebels intent on a Marxist revolution.

Much of the story focuses on the Scottish fairies, Morag and Heather, each taking up residence with New Yorkers Kerry and Dinnie respectively, who live in opposite buildings. Kerry is pretty and talented but suffers from a crippling medical complication. Dinnie is a hopeless antisocial slob. While adjusting to life in the city, encountering the various international fairy tribes that live there (African, Chinese, and Italian fairy tribes), causing mayhem everywhere they go, they manage to help Kerry and Dinnie with their troubles and, as you might guess, set them up with each other. Meanwhile the Cornish fairies hiding out in Central Park are trying to adjust to city life themselves, trying to avoid trouble, and failing. And a Cornish fairy army is coming across the Atlantic Ocean to get them.

It is a very entertaining book of the modern-world fantasy or magical realism genre similar to Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett.


'You are funny,' chortled Heather, but the action of laughing upset her precarious hangover and she threw up again, all over Dinnie's arm.
'Well, he certainly believes in us now!' screamed Morag.
'Don't worry,' said Heather. 'Fairy vomit is no doubt sweet-smelling to humans.'

ISBN:978-0749954208 Millar, Martin. The Good Fairies of New York. The Fourth Estate, 1992 (UK). Also by Martin Millar: Lonely Werewolf Girl and Curse of the Werewolf Girl

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