September 19, 2000
Everything Editor Logs
history | prophecy

O dem bones, you who wear the nodegel as your own flesh about your gleaming skeleton, we, your servants, report on the ongoing construction of your body. The noders have almost completed your right hand, the hand which will smite evil doers and bestow blessings upon the just. It has taken until this time from the creation of Everything and the evolution of Everything 2 for us to reach this point. We estimate another 200,000,000,000 nodes will complete the right forearm. The complete body is estimated to be completely noded by 2004. Then the Ryan form can be sloughed off.

To this end, we course through the nodegel, culling and cooling, always encouraging the formation of shapely nodes.

Of special interest now is the deletion of unsightly nodeshells, woeful in their petty denigration of other noders. These shells are unfit. They shall be relaxed back into freegel where the noders may then fashion it into worthy shapes.

Into the Crypt:

Deleted nodeshells for dragoon, team Jet-Poop and Lord Brawl. For veterbiSearcher, and one inadvertantly created by Chihuahua Grub.

Into the Crypt:

  • Everything 2 Source Code by Xamot. By request.
  • test by kaatunut. By request.
  • One World Goverment node by jbird.
  • Defenstrate the Dominant Paradigm by flaminweasal. By request.

I drew them close to me and crooned the Death Song; they died in my arms and their souls flew howling down to Hell. On arrival in the land of the dead, they were greeted by Oliver Cromwell and a committee of former Chicago aldermen appointed during the reign of Mayor Daley père. On being shown to their quarters, they immediately popped all the towels into their suitcases and ordered eleven double bourbons from room service. On receipt of the drinks, they consumed the drinks and broke into T. E. Lawrence's room, where they short-sheeted the bed and left a message in lipstick on the bathroom mirror. The message implied that Lawrence's starboard kidney had been removed while he slept. Lawrence's kidney had not, in fact, been removed. The management is taking this incident very seriously. A report will be issued when the investigation is complete.

  • argippa11 by drew23 (never seen on E2): The title is misspelled, to begin with; to go on from there, it's an unidentified, uncredited fragment from a work which Pseudo_Intellectual has noded at Agrippa, with full credit given. I think this writeup was the ringleader in the shameful events described above.

    Thanks to WWWWolf for bonking me on my pointy little head with this one.

  • assymbly by sane guy: "I love eggs". Well, golly, so do I! Over easy, with bacon, toast, fried potatoes, a glass of tomato juice, and a cup of coffee. Boy, that'd really hit the spot right now, wouldn't it? Maybe I'll put that in a day log or in my home-node, where it belongs. I informed the user.

  • spot-weld by sane guy: "I need some EGGS." Somebody's having a little problem here. I did not bother to inform the user.

  • 12 inch black mamba strap-on by Gau (never seen on E2): Boring, obscene, incoherent, pointless, illiterate. The sort of thing that passes for "humor" among people who don't get much oxygen.

Had an exchange with Merlin83 which ended very well: He's as good as his word. That's always appreciated.

I glared despairingly at tonight you may sleep the sleep of a thousand years: I asked the noder to add some content. He did. The problem is that it still doesn't make any damn sense, and all the commas are misplaced. But he did his best. He really tried. I don't know what to say.

Title edits needed: Evolution Control Comittee ("committee")

Noxious Nodeshells: argippa11, assymbly, 12 inch black mamba strap-on

The account of the late drew23 can be removed as well; that was the last of his writeups.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.