I was serving aboard the Enterprise D. I got the impression I was a Lt. Commander, the same rank as Data. I was part of engineering, thus, a gold uniform.

Myself, Captain Picard, Commander Riker, Commander Data, and Counselor Troi were escorting a newly contacted species on a tour of the ship. (This is right after I introduced one of them, "Pennisin", to the concept of a handshake. He resisted at first, then remembered reading about it.)

Counselor Troi must have gotten far ahead of us, because as we turned a corner in a cooridor, I see her with her arms elbow-deep in a wall access junction box. We walk over to see what she's doing, and she clumsily yanks out a power inverter. It's a black box, about two feet tall by one foot wide, with a screen on one side, and "Power Inverter" written down the other side.

A Madonna music video is playing on the screen. This, strange in itself, makes me attempt to stop it. However, every attempt I make to shut the unit down fails. Even when I hit the "Clear and Reset" button. Nothing.

Commander Data and myself take the inverter to Engineering, (Which turns out to be the patio at my Parents' house in Florida), and Geordi is sitting at the table. We plop it down in front of him, and he looks at it asking "What the hell is wrong with this?"

I watch him also press "Clear and Reset", to no avail.

Geordi gets up and joins the rest of the touring party (who are leaving through the screen door past the pool), and leaves me to figure out what's wrong with the inverter. I remember mentioning to Data as he gets up that "At least it's Madonna playing. That's not too bad."

I do a hard "reboot" of the unit, and Madonna's new western video comes on, as well as what appears to be some Japanese hiragana on a seperate display. I yell to Data, asking if he can read Japanese, however Dr. Crusher interrupts, mentioning that they're going to be busy. (She makes hand gestures as if playing a cello.)

Dream Shift

I'm out somewhere with my brother. We're driving back home, and we're obviously concerned that our parents believe us to be gone permanently. Don't ask me why.

When we arrive at their house, there is a funeral in progress. In the garage. A bunch of people are carrying a casket out of the garage, and as we walk up the driveway, they look at us, stunned.

I got over to the casket somehow, and unhooked the latches. I opened it up, and the person inside is ME! I freak out for a second or two, and regain my composure as I realize that can't really be me in there, because I realize I'm standing in front of it. Everyone isn't surprised by this, so I pick up the head of the corpse. It detaches from the body.

It is a perfect replica of me. It has an amused look on its face. (You have no idea how weird it is to look at your own face, on a head that you are holding.)

My father seems casual. He says something to the effect of "You're the first. Look who's after you, on the floor by the table."

I look down, and there lies a replica of my brother, partially covered by the tablecloth.

All during this "service", my mother is crying, but she's neither upset, or happy. It's as if her tears are "for show".

Oh well. Dream over, and I wake up. I still think it's cool that I got to hold my own head. Even if it WAS a replica. It was a damn good one, and if you didn't know it was a replica, you would think it was actually my head. That's how realistic it looked.

I'm so sick. I am fevery delicious! every few minutes if I'm not careful I drift off in to a bizarre sunny dreamland.

"ohhh my cats are on the ceiling! I wonder how they do that?"

"uh oh, the mailbox alarm is going off!" (yam halfheartedly gets out of bed to go check the mail and realizes that no, it's actually the phone ringing.)

"oh no they left their forklift behind on my porch!"

"i lost count i have to start being sick all over again."

hmm. I'm going to go buy some no-brain-involved food. if you never hear from me again, I'm probably busy hallucinating in the frozen foods aisle at Buy'n'save and don't wish to be disturbed.

Game, Gas, Green, Levitation

  • Programming a game using genetic algorithms.

  • All the gas stations in town have doubled their prices and I'm stranded and starving at the local 7-11 which has become a gas station. I don't have enough money for a decent amount of gas and some food so I'm mightily irritated. I denounce the corporate establishment, oil companies and capitalism in general. Fuck the man! I borrow two dollars from a lady who works there and buy a garden burger.

  • Walking a path along a coastal embankment, I run into Tom Green. He's messing with people as usual, except he's getting a little more intense. We walk into a restaurant and he accuses the proprietor of cumming in the wine. An old waitress removes the wine from the cabinet as Tom Green slyly jizzes in the Goldschlager and serves it to someone. I watch him start a fight between two enormous muscle-men and they proceed to maul each other to near-death.

  • I'm standing on the street in San Jose, California, talking on a pay phone with some Silicon Valley technologist. He asks for my location and I tell him, somehow knowing what's about to happen. Omnisciently I see him in his office building as his office suddenly projects out of the structure like a telescoping appendage, and stretches up into the air, hanging a 90 degree turn and extending out across the city toward me. Back in my body, I see the infinitely-stretchable hallway/appendage bring his office right there next to me on the sidewalk. "Fuck teleportation," he says. I enter his office, along with some passersby who want to know what's going on. We zoom elsewhere, actually going inside another building. The office is gone now and we all are merely levitating along as a group. The guy has gone evil, it seems and is intent on taking over the world with his technology. He suddenly throws the controls aside and demonstrates that they're just for show; he is really causing the levitation. The scene goes on with many sudden appearances of dream characters claiming the same power. More men in business suits. One of the muscle-men from the Tom Green dream. C-3PO. A sasquatch. Dream ends. I realize this last scene was the cue for me to become lucid and show everyone my own powers of levitation and reality control.

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