Additional things not to say during an interview:

  1. "Hell yes, I'm a great programmer. Where's your VCR?"

  2. "Do you have an OC-3 connection to the Internet? I have a big list of MP3s that I have to download from Napster."

  3. "I'd make a great SysAdmin. I 0Wn3D your Web Server three times this week."

  4. "Yes, I have a degree... it's a first-degree yellowbelt in Karate. Why do you ask, is this a dangerous office to work in?"

  5. "Why do you want me to take off my NRA Forever hat before I go into my interview, Mom?"

  6. "I know I don't look like my over-21 driver's license picture. I... ummmm... caught that same disease as Michael Jackson and now I'm pale."

  7. "Do I need to take a drug test? I don't think they've flushed out of my system since yesterday."

  8. "Why are you naked and wearing a strap-on, Ms. Interviewer?"

  9. "Yes, you can talk to my last supervisor, but if she says anything about theft or sexual harrassment, stop talking to her."

  10. "The FBI is going to do a background check? Will they be able to find out about my drug smuggling days?"