Whooopah!
--Cletus the Foetus

One week from, say, about now, Jeremy, Jordi, and I will be heading down the highway to Columbus, Ohio, and the waiting E2 Allthing. As pavement passes beneath our wheels our heads will buzz with Red Bull and recollected road trips, and we'll bond, brothers of road and node.

I wanted to bring a memorable gift for our hosts, and have burned a CD in their honour. I will attempt to re-burn it; something has gone wrong, and it "sticks" between songs, requiring manual advancement. It's okay on "random," though. The CD consists of several existing songs that somehow relate to things noderly, some other stuff that seemed like a good idea at the time, and one Original.1

"We Didn't Start the Fire," possibly Billy Joel's most banal hit, made the perfect template for my "original," because it mostly consists of a list of things, and alternate lyrics could be substituted easily. I downloaded an instrumental karaoke track and went from there.

A musician friend of mine agreed to record it on his home system, in return for my help with a speech he has to give. Unfortunately, his computer became corrupted, and he has not been able to recover his home recording system. Fortunately, a stunningly talented local musician with access to state-of-the art recording equipment stepped in, and devoted countless hours creating the vocal track.

Mostly, it consists of noder names. Obviously, I could not fit everyone's handle in. I apologize to anyone who feels slighted. I inserted a few references to e2 history along the way.

The chorus, on reflection, makes little sense. As I understand it, we do, in fact, stir the nodegel. Perhaps the song's chorus indicates that we shudder at this awesome responsibility, and therefore try to minimize our own involvement.

Yeah, yeah. And islands in the stream don't, in any meaningful way, rely on each other.

In any case, I present the track listing and "original" lyrics for those who care:

The E2 Dysfunctional Family Reunion
The Original Soundtrack from the Motion Picture

1. It's Great to Be a Nerd -- The Arrogant Worms
2. All I Want is Everything -- Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes
3. Keep on Rockin' in the Free World-- Neil Young
4. Make Shit Up -- Voltaire
5. This is Everything -- Tegan and Sara
6. Theme from The Monkees-- The Monkees
7. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds -- William Shatner
8. 500 Miles (I'm Gonna Be) -- The Proclaimers
9. Dizzy -- Tommy Roe
10. Bewilderbeast -- Badly Drawn Boy
11. (Everything is Comin' Up)
Rosy and Grey2 -- The Lowest of the Low
12. And if Venice is Sinking -- Spirit of the West
13. Clocks -- Coldplay
14. We Didn't Stir the Nodegel -- The Insulting Softlinks

We Didn’t Stir the Nodegel

(To the tune of "We Didn’t Start the Fire")

Dem Bones, Dem Bones, Dem Bones gonna rise again…


Ccunning, karmadebt, dannye, Andrew Aguecheek,
Rancid Pickle, Jet-Poop, Roninspoon, dann.
Panamaus, kthejoker, Gorgonzola and demeter
Tiefling, tandex, GrouchyOldMan.

Dman and Saige brawl; Chiisuta doesn’t need a stall
Lometa, LadySun, sid, haze, riverun.
Ouroborous, Quizro, iceowl gets freakin’ cold
jaubertmoniker, Katyana’s close call

We didn't stir the nodegel
It was always glowing
Information flowing
We didn't stir the nodegel
No we didn't do it
But we fell into it

zot-fot-pig, TheDeadGuy, Chris-O and allseeingeye
AlbertHerring, NinjaPenguin, Dman grows fierce.
Witchipoo, Koreykruse, anthropod and Jurph, too
Cletus the Foetus, jessicapierce.

Lucy-S and Braunbeck, Borgo begets Borgette
BrooksMarlin, izubachi, Bugs go to JayBonci
thefez, Templeton, Gritchka, Bitca, momomom
E2 Civil War; Dman gets shown the door.

We didn't stir the nodegel
It was always heaving
Surfers are receiving
We didn't stir the nodegel
No we didn't do it
We just fell into it

Andromache, icicle, Chiisuta finds a good Hotel.
Mauler, GeneralWesc, SharQ, Teiresias.
Pseudo_Intellectual, Man who is Transitional,
avalyn, brassmule, Webster is nobody’s fool

Butterfinger Mcflurry, aneurin writes history,
Habakkuk meets Mukkachuck, sneff makes parfait from a duck,
mordel, mock style, cruising in at machfive.
Ascorbic the catbox files; Sensei teaches for awhile.

We didn't stir the nodegel
It was always heaving
Surfers are receiving
We didn't stir the nodegel
No we didn't do it
We just fell into it.

Indigoe, briglass, server in Los Angeles
Wiccanpiper, Timeshredder, server moves up to Ann Arbor
Lesbians, monkeys, soy, Swap turns out to be a boy
Sexycampcouselor, not a real convincing girl
Indra 363, Halspal turns out hard copy
Online polls, April Trolls, Nate it’s unacceptable!

We didn't stir the nodegel
It was always glowing
Information flowing
We didn't stir the nodegel
No we didn't do it
But we fell into it

hapax blazes in, arcanamundi back again
Some long-fled dork can’t get laid in New York
IronGoth and Jasmine spar; E2 tries to raise the bar
Grundoon and wertperch tie the knot across the ditch

heppigirl, bewilderbeast, kerawall, Columbus feast
Princess Therion, busty ninja bake-a-thons.
Polls say E2's getting better
I’ll subscribe to your newsletter.

We didn't stir the nodegel
It was always glowing
Information flowing
We didn't stir the nodegel
No we didn't do it
We got sucked into it
We didn’t stir the nodegel
And when we are gone
It will still shine on and on and on.....

UPDATE: The song is available at http://mindfire.net/stir_the_nodegel.mp3, courtesy of ModernAngel, who rocks.

1. Song may not actually be original.

2."Rosy and Grey" contains this fine example of syllepsis in the final stanza:

I've kissed you in France and I've kissed you in Spain
And I've kissed you in places I'd better not name
And I've seen the sun go down on Sacre Coeur
But I like it much better going down on you.