A dork is the zoological term for a whale's penis.

Needless to say, I was quite flattered to be referred to as a dork. (By my girlfriend at the time's mother, no less! How could she have known?) A penis, yes, but what a penis!

The "dork" is one of those social classes from high school that really begs for more specialization. You've got the "nerd-dorks", the people who're really into gleaning all the information they can out of life. These are the people who go on to make 6-figure salaries, win Nobel Prizes, cure diseases, and come up with amazing new ways to slice bagels. Then there are the "goofy-dorks" who're the class-clown wannabe's that would really be well-liked if they could just do something about that acne and the fact that they refuse to wear anything but those big glasses and the paisley collared shirt tucked into their sweatpants. They're witty and funny, and do well later in life, provided that they finally ditch the "I'm too witty to be fashionable" routine. Then, of course, you have the "hopless-dorks" who're beyond all help. They're out of shape with no desire to improve their appearance. They deny the fact that looking decent will help them with the opposite sex, and often they're right. They have no redeeming personality traits, and they're often downright rude. These people have never been liked by anyone besides their mothers, if that, and that trend continues throughout their miserable life.

Unless they win the lottery, in which case they've got all the friends and sex they want.

Yeah, there are more important things in life than money, but they won't go out with you if you don't have any.

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