Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I can't start any new books or series even though they sound fantastic without a shitton of effort, and I can't play any of the dozens of new video games I've bought, but I CAN spend hours upon hours playing minecraft and watching the same four youtube videos over and over, so that's nice!"

• Real hackers start their own IRC networks so that they can't be traced by the FBI
• I can break into any Ford Expedition in an hour
• I've read books so I know things that sound like they could be true
• you can lower your standards, or your pants, but you can't make them love you
• God can create a stone so heavy even he can't lift it
• Money can't buy happiness but the lack of it can cause a lot of misery
• Apple may have bought NeXT, but NeXT took over Apple
• you can't recreate what's over
• You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
• you can't you can never be sure. you die without knowing.
• I can burn the hearts of the damned, but I can't stop the burning I feel for you
• Once and somewhere far away I might have found peace, but now I can't live without this city.
• Be nice to smokers: any cigarette can be their last
• I can't spend another autumn without the trees
• You can take the mall out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the mall
• I can't get published, but this crap can
• buildings so tall you can't even see the tops of them
• Spend an hour with us and you'll never be the same
• How long can any one heart be so confused?
• You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can have a child
• I got a good degree and can't remember any of it!
• I can slaughter my way through Hell, but I can't kill these feelings for you
• Actually, I went to bed this morning, sometime, but we can gloss over that.
• I can't find the any key
• People can get stuff here that they can't get anywhere else.
• Can God create a boulder so large He can't have anal sex with it?
• At least things can't get any worse
• you have ghosts. where are they? are they so deep that the light cannot reach them? is there any such place?
• I play video games for a living
• The serpent was in the garden again, but there weren't any apples left in the tree, so I figured things were cool.
• You can bear arms, but you can't bare breasts
• The one valid argument for Judaism over any other religion
• stop garage sales (or why Joe Lieberman doesn't like video games)
• Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
• I can lie to the face of the devil himself, but I can't fool you.
• NODE OR DIE! Can you do any less?
• you can touch the sun but you can't take it with you
• I can get away with murder, but I can't get you out of my head
• Seriously, I can't speak French, so can we just skip to the love-making part?
• How to determine whether a number is even or odd in any base
• You can't dominate the world on $10 a day (or can you?)
• even if I can't forgive, I can still let go of it
• Any function can be represented as the sum of an even function and an odd one
• We don't swim in yer toilet, so don't fuck us over or you'll need 2 wheelchairs, fool: An Partie
• even though I wouldn't be able to tell you any of this
• Why can't I get over her
• I bind these books, but I can't write in them; I just can't
• An hour later, I swing my leg over his and we dream of being young
• Only the devil would play the same five songs over and over
• "Of course humans aren't intelligent. They don't even have glurbleflukers. If you can't glurblefluke, you're not sentient."
• you can't change the world, but you can change the facts
• You will be advanced socially, without any special effort on your part
• Music that is either by the Sonic Youth or by some band that is ripping off the Sonic Youth, but you can't tell which
• you can't start a fire without a spark
• You can run, but you can't hide
• My 486 almost runs Debian now, but I can't play Doom!
• so pretentious I can't even breathe
• We once played this same game, but with only our words
• Pirates and ninjas: why they should be friends but can't be
• i remember reading this but i can't remember if i liked it or not
• When you can almost recognize her face, but you can't remember her name
• He vowed not to consider any time interval shorter than one hour.
• Reality can't be whatever I want it to be, but maybe it's not so clear-cut, you know?
• some people touch it, but they can't hold on
• every horse can be tamed by someone. but they don't always live at the same time.
• i can't hear you over the chewing
• Though I may not have lived a virtuous life, at least I can say I've lived
• I can't get a girlfriend but my dog has a harem
• There's a fine line between feeling a will to live and feeling a fear of death. Sometimes they can both lead you down the same path.
• Can't imagine why, but I feel like dancing
• Two Can Play That Game
• Crystal Meth and the retail market
• watch over me until i can find my way out of this labyrinth in my brain and regain my sanity
• My fingers flow over a keyboard, but words jumble at my teeth
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• He scribbled with black crayon all over my fairy tale books.
• Any song can be a love song
• Can real love survive over time
• "42" is even to any base
• You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs
• we can get along even though we disagree
• any way, shape or form
• can till can't
• I'm at the station, but I can't get on the train
• They fed off each other, which is unusual in a couple, but nice to see.
• Over time, the metaphor becomes literal. Eventually, we will wish for the figurative meaning, but left with only the chilling reality.
• I thought ALL women looked for a wedding ring when they talked to ANY man
• These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
• the good in others can take us where we can't go alone
• Men can download naked women. Women can't download men worshipping them. Ha ha!
• And if terrorists wanted to communicate secretly, mightn't they just do so by collaborating on a 'draft' here at e2? Can the NSA check on our drafts? Who knows? Inquiring minds want to know, Jay!
• Can't speed up, can't slow down - all we can do is follow these damn dogs
• God can't be all good and all powerful at the same time
• you can change the world and you can't change the world
• When the principal laughs so hard he can't suspend you
• I can't live without you
• I'm not going to simplify things just so they can fit inside your mind. You don't deserve that.
• lots of small things can fill up a day without you even being aware of it
• Any sufficiently nice person is indistinguishable from someone who likes you
• book of hours
• I wish when I closed a book I could set it on the shelf and know it was really over
• Can't nothin' fail but a try
• How to Play any Guitar Chord
• I've never seen a glacier up close, but I've touched your hand. It felt so cold.
• I am in love with so much more than your body heat, but let's start there
• Maybe it's bad manners, but you still can't buy my baby
• I'm sorry, but we can't watch the rest of MacBeth until it is censored
• If you can't help it, fuck it!
• It wasn't so much what you said, or what I did, but more what you said I did, and what I didn't say at all.
• But I Don't Want To Take Over The World
• But you can't take the Jungle out of the Tiger
• Eat any good books lately?
• but we turn everything we touch to shit; we just can't let beauty stand
• it's like something big is happening right in front of us but we can't see it
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• i can't fit it all in but by god, i will keep trying
• How to be a moron in any city but Baltimore
• I Think I'm a Pervert, But I'm Totally Over It
• I can eat a peach for hours
• only cold little handheld mirrors in the wee hours of the morning can be trusted
• I can't do one-quarter of the things my father can
• I have to get up early and do laundry so I can wear something nice to the weirdo sex club
• I climbed the stairs behind him, without any reason to follow
• I hope they kill me while I'm standing here, so I can die happy.
• The video cuts out here; nothing more can be determined from the tape.
• Advantaging all without disadvantaging any
• Because the weather is always beautiful, they don't even know that storms can be beautiful too.
• Any exercise can be made harder by going slower
• As any fool can plainly see
• You can't predict or control what incidents in your life your friends will remember and retell
• if I can't be with you, then I'll write about you, or I'll write about something else
• I can't decide if what you're saying is too profound for me to comprehend or just insane
• Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke
• do you think i can get all my ideas out? so they aren't lost?
• If I can't win I don't want to play
• If you can't write something nice, don't write anything at all
• Sometimes, I get so lonely I can't stand being conscious.
• The guy who can't even pick up guys
• I still can't think of anything, or how Fight Club changed my life
• Words you can't use unless they describe you
• If he's late, you can always start without him
• To a beautiful woman without any ketchup
• if you buy into the wizard's bullshit, soon you're all standing waist-deep in things you didn't even know could exist and no one has any clue how to stop him
• The Corpus Hermeticum: Book Four: The Cup or Monad
• He scribbled with black crayon all over my fairy tale books
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• The square root of any positive integer is either integral or irrational
• All Over but the Shoutin'
• I can't remember when I fell but I love it down here
• I had names for all of those places, but I can't remember them
• You can play with my ex-girlfriend, but treat her like the lady that she is.
• I want my trail to grow over and disappear, but now someone is reading it.
• Top 10 Reasons to Move to Canada Without Electing Any Of These Nitwits
• I knew it was over the moment I bought those shoes
• World, take care of me. You don't owe it to me, but I don't know any better.
• Proof that any filter can be extended to an ultrafilter
• Any house can become a prison
• Hours pass, but she still counts the minutes
• Can I play with your breasts? Yes, but don't get out of the yard.
• I will have her forever but I can't touch her
• I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
• Cemeteries are boring, but I can't seem to stay away from this one in particular.
• I can quit any time I want
• Any man can handle adversity. If you want to test his character, give him power.
• I've lost my memory but I have ink, so.
• Maybe you were inherently complicated, maybe you've been complicated over the years, but know that you are complicated.
• It's like this train. It can't run anywhere but where its rails take it.
• Any sufficiently lucky series of coincidences are indistinguishable from miracles
• Nobody paid any attention until white people started to speak out
• In four dimensions, any closed loop of one-dimensional string is equivalent to an unknot.
• You are at the beginning of your next trillion years, and you can spend it with us, or you can spend it curled up and shivering.
• You too can spend four years

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