First, let me say I empathize with you. But think about it this way, they're probably not the type of guys you'd want anyways... so they're really saving you the trouble of ditching them. Gotta think positive.

I think the trick about finding a guy who wouldn't run away is to find an NT or Rational temperament type boy, and then make sure he was raised in a large city around feminist type influences. Then you'll have the following things you desire:

  • Can actually do dishes
  • May or may not mind armpit hair
  • Attracted to intelligence
  • Can keep up intellectually
  • Can have heated "discussions"

These guys exist. I'm not really sure how rare they may or may not be. Considering that the Rational temperament comprises anywhere from 6 to 10% of the entire population, it may be quite rare indeed. Espeically depending on where you are, because us Rationals (yes I am one) are attracted to big cities where we can engage in evil plans.

For the record, I am one of the kind of guys I wrote about here. However, I'm hoping that there are more, because we need guys like this. Additionally I do not find hair a turn off, and I'm still looking for super-intelligent women.

There are, out there, guys who are bright, are attracted to brightness, and will see those "liabilities" as the real spice of personality, and seek you out precisely for them. If I were you, I would sit down, and seriously consider the areas, the types of people, that you look into when trying to find someone. If, every time you've looked, you've found a guy who resents you for intelligence, statistical probability (there are three billion men out there. A good portion of them like a smart, aggressive girl) suggests that you're looking at the wrong guys at potential partners. A few tips:

-Find a guy who knows who Noam Chomsky is. When I am looking for girls, this has been a pretty good rule of thumb.

-Find a fellow that has burning, passionate resentment for superficiality. This greatly increases your chances of finding a fellow that can appreciate deeper qualities.

-Don't look for a guy who seems overly devoted to work, or personal (non-idealogical) achievement. Guys who value their job above everything else in life are trying to prove something. If you seem to have personal potential, in their eyes, you've just mutated from "cuddly sex kitten" to "rival."

-Hrm... For that matter, don't go for guys that label you "cuddly sex kitten" in the first place. Even if he has a nice car/job/house/potential.

-If your instincts keep leading you to the wrong guys, discard them. Try to find a guy that, on a normal basis, you wouldn't say hi to. You might be surprised. Then again, you might find a stalker. No plan is perfect.

-Find someone who cares about something larger than himself. A cause. It shows dedication to something more than personal glorification. As an added bonus, it may open your own horizons.

If all else fails, find me ;)

I had to think about adding to this node for a bit. Guess I lost :)

I think one item most women are worried about is time. I've found that intelligent and accomplished women tend to have a "guy" tendency - let's get this done now. In the midst of telling yourself that you shouldn't shed your intelligence for a coat of mundane, you should also repeat that you will eventually find someone that appreciates you for who you are. I've been teaching my two daughters that they should never ever "settle" or reconstruct themselves just to meet the requirements of someone they currently think is their true love.

This is not to say that both parties should be rigid in their views and expectations. Some mutual adjustment is natural, and tends to bring two people closer. Just don't throw off your own aspirations and hopes just so you'll have someone next to you later in life. In the long run, it isn't worth it, and you'll end up miserable.

One of the reasons I was attracted to my wife was that she was strong and very intelligent, not to mention beautiful. One of the reasons I asked her to marry me was that should anything ever happen to me, I know she can take care of herself and the kids. She has a career, she's going back to college to finish her degree, and I always defer to her judgement when it comes to finances. She's just better at it, and it's because of her drive and perseverence that we own our "dream" house.

So hang in there. There are folks who appreciate strong women. If you want intelligent guys, go look at a library or a gathering instead of a bar or wild party. Your chances will improve if you look for them in their natural habitat, and most likely they're looking for you too.

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