There's a fairly obvious functional
difficulty with the drive behind this battle-cry. The esteemed grade-school sexkittens
of the caller
's torrid imagination
might, in fact, be expert in Powerpuff-enhanced acts of sexual predation, depravity and (heh) skill
; however we will likely never see them.
But WHY? I hear the cry.
Simple. Unless your taste runs to implied representations of fisting or something similar, the poor Girlies can't do anything for you. Look at them. Look at 'em, man! (And woman!) They:
Now, I'll admit, the first and fourth points are only relevant to matters of personal preference
, personal physical compatibility
and possibly local statutes involving sexual acts with a super-powered minor
. The second and third, however, are the crux
of the matter
, man! How do you suggest the Powerpuffs perform said acts? Let's look at a small sample and their compatibility issues.
- Kissing: Okay, this is viable. They got mouths, after all. It's hardly hentai material, however, unless it involves...
- Fellatio: This is perhaps the only hentai-worthy thing our poor little toonettes are capable of. They got mouths, you can stick something in them, 'nuff said (you sicko).
- Fondling: Um, fondling what? They have no secondary sexual characteristics, presumably due to both their age and their retro-inspired, easy-to-tween outlines. I guess if you're a paedophiliac then you may get some play; if you're a gynotikolobomassophile then I guess there's room for workin' it. Still, that don't really seem like hentai to me.
- Cunnilingus: Hm. Well, first of all, you'd have to be able to fit yer head between those stubby toddler legs, and that's assuming there's even any goodies in there. Given the incredibly rudimentary nature or even complete lack of other, more frequently useful parts of their bodies (like, say, fingers) I think it safe to assume that any such locale would be as smooth, plastic and damn-all uninteresting as a Barbie Doll's sugar pie...and even if the act itself were your kick, remember that these chix have superpowers, and re-read Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex carefully, making sure to place yourself and the Puffie of your dreams in appropriate roles.
- Penetration: For anything other than oral, as noted above, ain't much available here.
So what is there? Sure, you could use their little mitts for manual activities (heh) but that really don't seem hentai to me. Nope, looks to me like the very nature of the Powerpuff Girls defies their typing into hentai roles.
Now, I'll admit, I'm not a hentai aficionado. So there may, in fact, be practices common and exciting to and in the hentai community that I have not mentioned here. If you're one of those and can enlighten us, please, do! It's all about education, and you never know when you might come across a drunken Bubbles in the park one night, mean shitfaced on root beer mixed with Bottle Caps, horny and lookin' to score. If that happens, given the little lady's on-screen persona, you best be able to think of something she'll enjoy...and I don't think the fellatio option will count, nope nope.