Maybe this should be a blog somewhere, but being that tomorrow is my birthday i wanna talk about the gifts I've received from the people i love and that love me no matter how screwed up I can be. In my mind these thoughts are relevant and I know in my heart they are shared by us all.
Mom (All of our mothers)
The gifts you have given me are countless. Strength to carry on when everything is lost, tenacity to keep plugging against the odds, courage to face the things that i thought i couldn't, compassion to love when i thought there wasn't any love left, love when i didn't deserve it, hope when i thought there wasn't any, trust when i couldn't even count on myself. You have been my light, my truth, my hope, my everything. You have given me all that and for that I thank you. You have given me the foundation to be a great mother, despite my faults, and for that I am eternally grateful.
Jessica (The older sister)
My beautiful sister. You have given me an edge on life. Thank you for your wit and perserverance and honesty even when being honest might not be the prettiest option but it is always the best option. For calling me out on my bullshit. For picking me up by my bootstraps when I couldn't do it for myself. You taught me how to be pretty, how to act gorgeous, how to love myself. Even when i was a funny looking gauky ass 8th grader that everyone made fun of. For sticking up for me, even when i didn't deserve it. You encouraged me to plug on and continue, your strength gave me the strength. For teaching me about "life's" philosophy, to opening my eyes to avenues of thought I never would've gone down but because I did I am a better person for it. That has been your gift to me, even when I didn't deserve it. Even when I threw it back in your face.
Craig (The "big" little brother)
For being a rock. You are the rock of our family. You know how every planet has a moon, well your kinda like the moon of your family planet. Always contributing more than anyone understands. You have given me a backbone. You pull me out of my hippie walk all over me attitude. you a are forgiving and lenient but strong and take no shit kinda guy. You've taught me how to have balls. But at the same time, you've also showed me what it means to take care of someone without expecting anything in return except for their well being. You exhibit selflessness every day, without even realizing it. I think in my mind that is the true definition of humility.
Andrew (The "baby" brother)
I don't even know where to begin with you. You have given me your gentleness and kindness of heart. Your ability to not be hateful, if that makes any sense? You get angry, but not in your heart. You have an old kind soul that is destined for great things, but you don't even know it. I guess your humility is something to be desired. Your lack of conceit and always thinking about the other person. Your wisdom beyond your years. Despite being older than you, you teach me lessons every time I have a heart to heart with you. You have a sense of honor that has been rubbing off on me since the day you were born.
John (The soul mate)
You have given me love. True love. You love me every second of every day despite what a reckless snot I can be some times. You have given me Ben. You pulled me out of a reckless path of disaster or even worse and replaced that with purpose and drive and commitment and everything I could have ever have asked for in a partner. I love you more than anyone could ever love someone. And that is what you have given me, the privilege to do that. Some say that it only happens once, and i never thought that it ever happened at all. But it does, and it happened to me. To us. Thank you. Thank you a hundred times over. Thank you forever.
Ben (The child)
You have given me....everything. If there were words to describe it, I would say it. But there aren't any, so I can do my best right now which I will but these words, they will never suffice. Beauty. You are the most beautiful creature I have ever layed eyes on. You make my heart swell. It beats faster when you call "Ma Ma, Ma Ma". You give me goosebumps. The joy that I feel when I look at you isn't anything I can even attempt to describe. What comes to mind is the feeling you have when it's been raining nonstop for months. Everyday you wake up its pouring and cloudy and dismal for days and weeks and months. But than all of a sudden it stops and the sky turns this perfect shade of blue, and the sun comes out and it starts to warm you and you look around and it is the most beautiful day you have ever seen, a day you've only seen in your dreams. That's what happens every time I look at you, all over again. You truly are my miracle.
Thanks for reading this. Gifts come in packages and boxes with bows on them, or in the shape of cards with a check in it but I'm starting to come around and see what a gift truly is and I have all these beautiful people in my life and it might as well be my birthday every day. Cause in all honesty right now I feel like it is...