Oh, come on bitch, I know you like it like that.

Those words make me shiver, whenever I hear them depart from someone’s lips, the way they say it, the way you know they want to treat you as a dirty whore.

I'm not a slut, never will be, never have been, but I have been in love once. I believe you can fall in and out of love, but that when you do, it's not something easily forgotten. I was in love, and I'm not sure if I’m out of it yet. I know he doesn't love me anymore, but he did once. He really did.

So does that mean I’ve fallen out of love? Or maybe it means I was thrown out of it, because, maybe love is made up of two people, sharing it.

Oh well, that's not the story I want to tell.

We were best friends and he would always look out for me. He loved me you see; but when we shared our first kiss: BOOM, it seemed to blow us both out of the air!

Every Friday night, we would be meeting up at a girlfriends place, Passion over took it would be crazy, and if I went on trying to describe it, I would be filling this page up with well known cliché’s .

Till one day, I noticed he had stopped calling me, and all it was, was hey, what are you doing this Friday night? One night when he did call, he said, you know I feel bad for not talking to you at school, I mean, I see you around , am I’m like, heyyyy, I’m getting pussy off this chick, I knew it had to stop.

But the Friday nights continued, and I couldn’t help but go along with it, it swallowed out the relationship, till, we couldn’t hold a conversation without using tongues...literally.

Till one day, it is 4:00 in the morning, and we were just lying there, on the couch, him holding me, watching mtv, and just breathing in unison, when he says, "...Kate. I think I have a problem" What I asked, and he goes "I think I like you" In a state of panic, I completely made a mess of things, I was, in such fluster, that I can't even remember, exactly what I said, but it was something to this effect, "No, no I don’t like you, what just happened, it didn’t mean anything, I’m sorry."

I only did it because I loved him

Now we never talk, and everything fizzled out slowly, I think, I’m still a kid, because, we were teenagers, we still are, If it didn't mean anything to him, was it sexual assault? Because, if I didn't Love him, then maybe that's how I would've seen it.

In all the movies, there are people who have one night stands, does that mean, they fall in and out of love in a night? And if it doesn't mean that, then wouldn't they be left with a deep and dirty feeling inside? Like I was?

Oh well, I don't know, but I don't want to grow up, I don't want to have the obligation, of having to fall in love, and having to fall out of it, without a scratch.