It's January. It's 1998. I was grateful to have made it through the first 3 days of the Ice Storm with electricty intact. My luck had changed. It's late, and with no street lights shimmering through the windows it's very, very dark in the apartment.
An ounce of prevention... I had enjoyed laughing outrageously at my neighbours across the street who had lost power days before. So much so that I neglected to take out candles and leave them in an easily accessible spot. Stumble... Ah! The camping gear. Shuffle Shuffle... Ah my Maglite! Not the mini-Mag mind you. The towering, shimmering staff of illumination. It's big. It's heavy. It takes three D batteries. And now,I can see!
Having retrieved enough candles to keep warm and see, I decided to leave my faithful flashlight somewhere handy (I learned from the candles mistake you see) The headboard! Yes, that's handy!
In the meantime, Frodo (my 22 pound grey furball of fury) is very much enjoying himself. Catnip mice fly in graceful arcs across the living room. This is a good thing, he will sleep tonight. Besides, the TV isn't working and the UPS died so he's my only hope for entertainment.
Having satiated myself on cat antics, I decided it's time for bed. I crawl in, flick the light switch (it's habit) and curl up. Frodo jumps up, purs and kneeds my bladder for me.
This is where the hurting starts
See, Frodo has a spot he likes to call his own. The headboard. It was ritual for him to throw stuffed animals from the headboard to make room for himself. But not just anywhere, he always, always aims for the head.
POOF. Frodo, do you have to keep throwing Teddy on me?? POOF. Frodo, cut it out, I'm trying to sleep! WHAP!
I'm struck with the realization that a heavy steel flashlight, when applied with proper force (gravity in this case) can cause quite painful head injuries. "What the.." I begin to feel dizzy with pain. Frodo all the while is staring down at me from his perch, wondering what all the comotion is.
Needless to say, I could not sleep that night. Upon getting out of bed, I notice a large purple and red bump above my left brow. And that my left eye has turned dark and has begun to swell as well. Oh this is nice. I look like I've been in a bar fight, and lost! BADLY!
OK, he didn't kill me, but he TRIED HARD!
If this should ever happen to you, consider the following:
Do not tell your boss the truth about why you won't be in for two days! (By that point, my left eye had swollen shut completely, and my right eye was a little swollen.) Tell him you were struck by a car. An asteroid. Anything but a cat!
Likewise, do not tell the doctor how you contracted your head wound. It's not fun having your doctor laugh at you. Nor the cute nurses.