user since
Tue Mar 11 2003 at 22:41:26 (21.3 years ago )
last seen
Fri Jun 28 2024 at 21:28:40 (2.5 weeks ago )
number of write-ups
172 - View mcd's writeups (feed)
level / experience
13 (Guardian of the Word) / 10188
C!s spent
mission drive within everything
cognitive dissonance
broad brushstrokes
most recent writeup
Vestibular system
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mycrazydream |at| gmail


avara k'davara
abra kadabra

"I will create (A'bra) as I speak (k'Dabra)."

I'm sure there's a story in here somewhere...

A Jew gets to heaven after passing on and finally meets the one true, holy God; Jehovah; YHWH. The Jew tells god a Holocaust joke, one he has been molding with care, shining and retooling until it was perfect for this exact audience. Even his delivery is perfect. But God is not moved, he does not laugh. The Jew, for all the work that he has put into the joke, does not seem surprised or even disappointed. Instead he shrugs and says with a wink and a sad smile, "I guess you had to be there to understand".

Catbox Catastrophe

I don't know anything outside of what is inside me
and that, too, is dim and confused.
I imagine a cloud somewhere
and that's where the answers lie.
They always lie, answers.

DejaMorgana: Oh, crap. I've just discovered an unforgiveable plot hole in Episode IX of the Land Before Time. Now it's going to annoy me every time I see or hear it (which is about three times a week).
Eco: Yes, well, this world is a vale of tears for anyone who demands strict accuracy in movies about talking dinosaurs.

dannye : Put on the DVD of Bad Santa. Turn the sound down. Put Beck's "Lost Cause" on the CD player and hit "repeat". Sit there for 103 minutes with a 9 mm on the table. See if you can make it.

Simulacron3 : I gave up on drugs when I discovered pain. Pain is the thing for those sufficiently advanced.

bipolarbear God life would be so much easier if we all spelt anaemia the same way *sigh*
Glowing Fish Yes, I've always thought, that is my definition of an easy life.

artman2003 At the top of my scratchpad is probably my first attempt here, maybe anywhere, at a sad story. I normally do humour. I want to make sure that it's not over the top, that people actually will think it's funny. Like just about the saddest story ever.
artman2003 I worry that people reading it familiar with my usual shit will sit there waiting for a punchline.
TheDeadGuy You mean, your fans?
TheDeadGuy Do you feel you've been typecast here by an unforgiving readership addicted to familiarity and opposed to fresh voices?

Jet-Poop I'll have you know slapping people like a bitch is a perfectly legitimate way to handle disputes. ;)

Simulacron3 I sat up and pushed my butt back against the headboard and looked at it for a moment. It was quiet so I asked, "Are you a ghost?"
BIII I thought I could see ghosts when I was six
Simulacron3 Turned out to be my dad in a white t-shirt.
mcd ewww, headboard-dad!
BIII I also thought I could store psychic energy in crystals and use them to contact spirits from the underworld.
Simulacron3 My dad wasn't the headboard; he was the ghost.
mcd oh but you can BIII, you can. (this msg brought to you by the underworld)
Spifficus Rex My grandpa insists that the ghost of my grandma's sister pokes him at night sometimes while he's trying to sleep, but I have never seen anything to suggest that there is a ghost in this house.
Spifficus Rex One of my aunts has a ghost hunting group. She insists that they have seen ghost activity. I don't believe in ghosts, so I really want to go with her on one of her things, but she doesn't take me. :'(
mcd She's looking out for you - do you really want to run into your grandad's hot sister-in-law out there?
Spifficus Rex My Aunt Agnes wasn't very hot in the time I knew her. Apparently she was pretty cool back in her day though and owned a bar or something.
BIII Why were you noticing how hot your aunt was?
mcd bashes head repeatedly against catbox wall
Spifficus Rex I'm comfortable mentioning that my older relatives aren't hot.
mcd tell us more about your hot relatives
BIII So you acknowledge the possibility that they could be hot and you would notice?
mcd hot like a scythe
Spifficus Rex That's awesome. I wish my grandma would teach me how to use a scythe.
Spifficus Rex My dad got remarried a couple years back. I met one of my stepsisters and thought she was quite attractive, but she is married. :V
mcd Yeah, but how are her skills with a scythe?
bluerabie careful, spifferoo - not illegal, but frowned upon...

and all is quiet...

To node: The Terror, Dan Simmons, faith, more to follow...

♠   C  O  M  E  D  Y   ♠

I will REMOVE the fucking toilet seat if you don't shut upThe Ruination of Britney SpearsPlastic JesusThe terrorists have already won "ANY BREAKFAST BAGEL SANDWICH" at McDonald's!What the hell is Grimace, anyway?The Little Library Of Sexual PositionsDeep Thoughts by Jack HandeyHumorous Writings of E2A response to horse pornSuper Mario Brothers: A Literary CriticismThey hit each other, like fucking Christ intended!The USA has fucked up prioritiesThis isn't a fairy taleFor the love of God, I am not a homosexual!

♠   I  N  F  O  R  M  A  T  I  V  E   ♠

5-Meo-DIPTHow to Write Bad PoetryHow to write lyricsHemingway's Perfect Bloody MaryHow to have an out of body experienceII-V-I progressionThe Everything Guide to Guitar ChordsWinemakingGoogle syntax100 Greatest American Films100 Best Movies You've Never Heard OfHow to have an out of body experienceBlock ElementsParadoxes of Islamic Fundamentalismcognitive dissonanceAutomobile engine troubleshootingthe good drug guideCrapsCookeryFull text works in Everythinglogo designHow to build a character in fictionGeek's guide to working out

♠   D  A  M  N    C  O  O  L  ♠

The end of ZenZen morning laughAmerican alcoholic writer stereotypeYou are not special. You will die here, too.Jennifer screamsHATEDOMESo this one-legged man walks into a barHow To Speak PoetryYou talk so much and say so littleTen reasons to believe in GodThe night I saw a man get his head blown offIt was one of the worst things I have ever doneConsumer quantum mechanicsThe sexuality and marital status of JesusI know how to bring a whiskey bottle pleasure with my touchWeird sex with strange peopleI was a prisoner in a Mexican whorehouseHow did I get here, Sarah?Lifetimes are catching up with meFish have no concept of firestrip clubWe'll drink cheap wine and watch for shooting starsWhen life gives you lemons, suck on them. Seriously, lemons taste awesome.When you sell a cigarette for a quarterOneMichael Crichton, Ted Scambos, and the Battle Against Scientific StupidityAround nine PM my heart was breaking so I went to bed early to listen to it happen.Listen, boy. Everyone is their own kind of ninja.I don't remember what life was like when I was seven. I like the taste of air. What should I do?Immortality blows

♠   E  2  ♠

What to do if you've got too many votes on your handsAdvanced Everything2 the Role Playing GameThe Content Rescue Team : NodesNoding speedometerFavorite Everything QuotesHonor Roll and youYour NodeshellsPunch ThyselfEverything Document DirectoryApril Trolls DayE2 Clique Application FormE2 FAQ: Online Community Dynamics


Α Ω a poet's gun. it should be serious as lead.
a piece heavy to lift, but irresponsible, and black,
black as the syphilis on lucifer's cock.

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Holy shit! More lists!! WOOHOO!!

(List generated Tue Mar 5 01:52:17 2013 GMT by the Homenode List Generator. Goodness is the percentage of votes that are upvotes. (At least I hope it is, program that I had to rewrite to get to work at all. Not the programmer's fault necessarily, but some curl problems on the system I was running it from. Could be that the E2 server isn't accepting the same remote curl call as the program was using before.)).

5 Most Voted-Upon Writeups
1C! Prosenoder's Cup 2007 1
October 4, 2005 2
3C! She smelt of spoilt T-forms 3
February 26, 2006 4
1C! dope sick 5

5 Least Voted-Upon Writeups
1 Automated External Defibrillator
2 morning set 1C!
3 excuse the pencil but I'm inkless 2C!
4 Don Blanding 1C!
5 (tied) Yakuza, a love song
5 (tied) August 11, 2011
5 (tied) the game is up 1C!

5 Highest Goodness Writeups
4C! bated breath (tied) 1
3C! canary in a coal mine (tied) 1
3C! short shrift (tied) 1
1C! Wild goose chase (tied) 1
1C! in a pickle (tied) 1
1C! A Memory of Light (tied) 1
1C! Don Blanding (tied) 1
Automated External Defibrillator (tied) 1

5 Lowest Goodness Writeups
1 derision
2 Prosenoder's Cup 2007 1C!
3 October 15, 2005 1C!
4 Aliens look like aliens because they're human 3C!
5 April 5, 2006

5 Most Reputable Writeups
3C! She smelt of spoilt T-forms (tied) 1
4C! bated breath (tied) 1
3C! What the dickens 3
1C! dope sick 4
2C! Google Desktop 5

5 Least Reputable Writeups
1 derision
2 (tied) morning set 1C!
2 (tied) Automated External Defibrillator
4 (tied) Aliens look like aliens because they're human 3C!
4 (tied) Trailer Park 1C!
4 (tied) August 11, 2011

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