How to cut your hair into a Mohawk
Thus showing how hardcore anti-whatever you are.

Note: I did this myself a couple of times and it is very satisfying to say you did it yourself.

  • First, grow your hair until it is the desired length or longer for your Mohawk. This can be anything from say an inch to a foot or more if you desire. Make sure the hair is long enough all down the back as well as on top.

  • Get some hair clippers or a beard trimmer (preferably borrow someone else’s!) or, if you are particularly adventurous, some scissors. Also make sure you have a way of looking at the back of your head, either a hand held mirror or a mirror behind you that can be angled easily.

  • Optional credit: Indulge in the soft drug of your choice to make your haircut a little more dodgy, for that ‘home-made hardcore look. Also should fill you with a sense of light headed immaturity and rebelliousness.

  • Go into the bathroom as this usually has an easy to clean floor and accessible mirrors. Put old newspapers all over the floor to catch the hair.

  • Get in the shower and make your hair wet, followed by a light towel drying. Stay naked or at least topless so it is easy to clean the hair off you afterwards.

  • Comb through the hair either pushing it all forwards or all backwards (make sure it’s at the angle you want your Mohawk to go, a slightly sideways Mohawk can be very cool). Make sure you use a wide comb so that you can see parting lines in between the locks of hair easily.

  • Choose where you want the Mohawk to start on one side of your head and create a side parting there (just on the top for now).

    WARNING: This is your last chance to back out before you start shaving hair off!

  • Turn on the clippers and shave the side of your head as short as you feel it should be (Go against the grain for an easier cut). Remember you can always go shorter, but you can’t put it back for a fair while.

  • Repeat on the other side of your head. You should now have a strip of hair down the top centre of your head and a lot of hair that now looks distinctly mullet-esque on the back.

  • DON’T PANIC.

  • Now comes the difficult bit. Set up the mirror so you can see the back of your head. Doesn’t it look pretty?

  • Comb all the hair down at an angle that matches up with the sides of the Mohawk on the top of your head. Repeat the parting exercise as with the top of your head and again shave against the grain. Try to pay extra attention because you are now shaving backwards in a double mirror which is just confusing. You don’t want to shave the wrong bit.

  • Hopefully you now have a strip of hair down your head that is longer than the rest. Get yourself some styling product that is sufficiently strong to hold your hair up and preferably straight. If like me you have a strong curl then you may need to try some ceramic straighteners.

  • Put on a sufficient amount of goo and push your hair into a Mohawk from either side. Now look and double check if it is the right length. If not, it is now easy to use a pair of scissors to chop off the excess length in the required style.

CONGRATULATIONS! You now have a genuine fully functional Mohawk! Now clean up after yourself like a nice boy/girl and go show your friends! (Beware, you may need a shower first as you will be covered in hairs.)

Note: For extra effect, try dyeing your hair an unnatural colour as well.