As a consumer of video pornography, I’ve seen hundreds of short clips via the Internet and dozens of full-length features on DVD and video (all in the name of education, I assure you). After seeing so much porn, I feel I am now in a position where I can categorize some pornography as Cookie Cutter Pornography.

Cookie Cutter Pornography describes run-of-the-mill, predictable pornographic movies. Of course, all porn is predictable on some level: everyone gets laid. However, cookie cutter pornography is the formulaic porn that anyone who has seen more than 1 porn movie is familiar with.

From a consumer perspective, most attempt to avoid cookie cutter pornography while selecting their porn. They want something new. Nancy Reagan might consider it a "gateway pornography" - porn that leads to more hardcore porn. She might be right.

In a cookie cutter type movie, the sex in each scene generally follows one of these basic formulae:

1) She goes down on him.
2) He goes down on her (but not for as long, of course).
3) Missionary position.
4) Woman-on-top or doggie (that is to say, they perform another position).
5) He ejaculates on her face.

This scene is usually used in the first scene of a feature, or consistently throughout the entire feature if it’s produced by the likes of Playboy or Penthouse (however both of these producers are more likely to simply have step 5 implied, or left out altogether).

1) She goes down on one of them while the other plays with her breasts/ass.
2) She goes down on the other guy while the first guy takes her doggie style.
3) She rides (woman on top) the second guy while fellating the first guy.
4) She rides the first guy while the second guy takes her anally.
5) The second guy pulls out of her ass and ejaculates on her face.
6) The first guy ejaculates on her face.

1) The two woman go down on him.
2a) The first woman rides him while the second rubs the first’s ass and his balls.
2b) The first woman rides him while the second positions herself for cunnilingus.
3) He takes the first woman doggie style while she performs cunnilingus on the second woman.
4) The women reposition themselves and he ejaculates on their faces.

Variations beyond what I’ve mentioned above do not usually fall into the realm of cookie cutter pornography (at least not at the time of this writing). Therefore, I’ve left them out. Although I’m sure there is some sameness in all man/woman/electric appliance operated by a monkey type movies, they aren’t common enough to find a place in my current definition of the term in question.

I should also acknowledge that "cookie cutter pornography" changes with the times. For example, in the ‘70s it was common to see a woman with au natural pubic hair, while in the ‘90s most woman were sporting the "landing strip" or "Mohawk" pubic hairstyle. Therefore, one might be required to append a timeframe to the term "cookie cutter pornography", such as "Debbie Does Dallas is a prime example of late 1970s cookie cutter pornography".

I’m afraid my knowledge of homosexual pornography and purely lesbian pornography (if in fact such exists) is somewhat limited, so I’m not able to comment on those types of movies. Feel free elaborate based on your own knowledge.

The Weird Nodes mostly come out on weekends. Mostly.

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