It's been dull. The Golden Jubilee seems to have gripped all the people not immersed in Paraguay-China. It's passed me by entirely, not that I'm sad.

Journey up here was bad. £45 at student rates to stand for four and half hours in fetid heat, surrounded by squadies and middle-aged women too embarrassed to say anything. Mate, you've got paint on your shirt. Did you know that? Yes I did. Been painting, Dave? No. You've got paint on your shirt, mate! I know. Here, are you gay? No. Well you look it! Ha! Ha! What do you think of her? She's lovely, in't she, mate? You've got all paint on your shirt, mate. I know. ad infinitum. The stagnant air was filled with troops from all the forces, all pissed or going out on the piss. Trains can be places of contemplation. They can feel like private spaces. I hate standing next to strangers for hours.

I've not done a lot these few days. Watched The Seven Samurai again. So tragic. I said so to my dad, and he's 'but where's the fall?' It's that the farmers, the stupid, cowardly, exploitative farmers, win. I could watch Kyuzo train in the rain for hours on end. His death; you see how much respect true competance commands. The whole cast shut up- truly, a warrior has fallen. Kikuchiyo dies well. He redeems his total lack of dignity in avenging Kyuzo's undeserved death.

I read Candide and Rasselas. Not enough Gulliver, but then I can't stand Swift. I can see him preaching, swaying in the pulpit, neck purpling, foam flecked lips furiously delivering his litany of rage and impotence. He is that inexcusable thing in satire: boring. It's so over-worked. I can't believe I've got to write about the man in 3 weeks' time. I shouldn't be here, come to think of it.

Also saw Jean de Florette. Saddest film I've seen in a while. Just see it, really. Haven't seen Manon des sources yet. Mean to. Cinema Paradiso, Romeo and Juliet (Lurhmann], Hi Fidelity, Seven Samurai. Those four are easy, every time. But number five is always hard. Wayne's World? 1? 2? Seven? Withnail and I? The Night Sun? La Reine Margot? (current choice).

My mother, briefly here in England bought me, amongst Pychon and introduction to Literary Theory, Sigur Ros album, which is sublimely beautiful. It's tough deciding what to listen to, that or the St. John Passion. I don't know if they're on a par musically, but right now I get similar pleasure out of them.

Exams start soon, and I really ought to be more worried. Still, too late now. Mostly I'm becoming mentally lazy. I'll see a possible path of thought and I'll think, yeah I could go down that interesting but fundementally useless sidetrack, or I could not. And put like that I can excuse it to myself. Only, that's what thought often is. A whole series of digressions. That's why e2 is so successful- you can just follow your thoughts through the nodegel. I suppose my problem is with concentration span. I don't even watch TV. It'd be nice to pretend I had ADD, but I think lying to yourself about how lazy you are is pretty crap, really. For example, how many nodes am I 'working' on? The one about how e2 is like The French Revolution, yeah, that one. classical musical education. Religio Medici. Urn Buriall. Reviews of all my classical music. Composers. Authors. Damn, there's so much to do that I just won't. This isn't some agnsty rant, please. It's just a bit frustrating.