i'm afraid to fall while anyone is looking. i'm the worst, yet safest, alcoholic of all. i drink when nobody is around. i can stay home and drool and sing billy joel songs and node and cry and watch strange days and curse her name and hers and hers and talk to eeyore and write up alcoholic dungeons and dragons characters...

i don't get hang-overs.
when i do look plastered, people assume i was just lamenting the life of a crippled bard so they don't try to condole me....
forgive me for drifting; i'm sober.
point is, altering your mental state is not a fix for not having a life. it's an appology for an ordinary life.

i'll come back to this node and try to make more sense after i satiate the craving Kallen put in me for a mudslide.