This is about misrepresentation of a business. My business. I run a 1-900 number which offers people an opportunity to chat with a very hot blonde. Me. The statements made in civilwaractionfigure's daylog above are incorrect and contain libel.

My 1-900 number is designed to charge good people $4.95 per minute to talk to me. Time is not cheap, especially for a hot blonde who looks absolutely stunning in a bikini (hooray for summer!). My boyfriend Dan answers the number when you call. It is his job to determine whether the caller is a nice person or a lonely pervert. The latter tend to call way too often and it sickens me. So, Dan screens the calls. He is very sensitive and jealous of me. Frankly, who wouldn't be with these perfect breasts and long, tanned legs. Boys drool when they look at me. Old men have heart attacks. I'm scrumptuous.

So, this creep calls and Dan answers. The creep asks Dan if he called the right number because he wants to talk to a woman. Dan flips out because he considers this insulting. If you just called to find friendship, what does it matter whether you talk to a girl or a guy. Dan asks the creep why he doesn't want to talk to him because he is nice and worth knowing. The creep tells him, and I quote, "I've got a stiffy right now and I want to start jerking it." This is how you talk to a man before asking to talk to his extremely hot girlfriend? Creep.

Dan tries to explain to the creep that this number is for friendship, not for filthy perversions. He tells the creep he can only talk to me if he promises to be polite and not mention vulgar things like his erection to me. So, the creep then tells Dan, "Where's the hot blonde? Is she taking a crap or something?"

Oh, that is so inappropriate. I want guys who call me to act like shy teenage boys calling a girl they have a crush on for the first time. I expect them to be cute and sincere and basically to worship me, but in a very wholesome way. I don't want to hear stuff like "I have a hard-on" or "Are you taking a crap?" Anyway, Dan reprimanded the creep and then the creep says, "Tell her to wipe her ass and come to the phone. I'm really horny."

There was no way I was coming the the phone after that and the creep would not hang up, so Dan pretended he was me. He's very masculine with washboard abs and an incredible apple-shaped tush, so it isn't easy for Dan to pretend to be a woman. He tried and the creep didn't buy it. He accused Dan of being a pervert and told him there probably wasn't any hot blonde there at all. He asked Dan if he eats cat food and if he lives in the woods and a whole lot of other really, really creepy questions. Then he starts telling Dan that a couple years ago he moved to Wichita, Kansas and his dogs didn't like going in the car so he took them behind his house and shot them all in the head. Dan is an animal lover, so he started shaking and crying and I had to take the phone from him.

I told the creep off over the phone and after I did, the creep tells me that I got him "really horny" by yelling at him. He then asks if I'm bitchy because I'm "on the rag." So, I started screaming at him and telling him I'm a nice girl and he has no right to talk to me that way. I then told him he wasn't worthy of my friendship and that I have a lot of friends already and they treat me with respect.

So then he asks me a whole bunch of questions about Michael Jackson and then stops and says, "Do you do anal?"

That was the point at which I hung up on him. He should have been charged more. I am way too hot to deal with that kind of nonsense.

As far as the endorsement, we don't need his endorsement. He's lucky we don't take him to court. We run a good business and average sixteen calls per day, most of which last between twenty minutes and a half hour. We make about $1,500 per week. Dan also works in construction. We enjoy a very comfortable lifestyle.