I was recently put through a process called freeze drying, then placed onto a very large skillet, heated over a flame for ten seconds, then placed inside a military style laundry bag (needs to be noded - get one of the old timers to do it). After that, I was placed on a train that moved across the Bering Sea Railroad Bridge (also needs to be noded - lot of work to be done here, people!). This is where I have been lately.
Recently, I ran into an old flame. This is a man with an enormous penis (needs to be noded - like, WTF dude?). Other than that, not much going on with this guy. I just loved jumping on that enormous penis and enjoying the way it filled my many holes. It was purely a sexual relationship. I got nothing else out of it. The dude doesn't even work out.
"You want go to get pizza with me?" he asked.
"What? No, I do not."
And then he got all bent out of shape (needs to be noded). Walks away all crying and shit. So I picked up a brick and I smashed him in the back of the head with it. Split his skull wide open. Dude falls down, bleeds out onto the pavement, and the next thing I know, the constable is blowing his shrill whistle, calling for more cops, so I ran into this place where they freeze dry different shit and jump into the machine. That was how my wonder ride began.
Now, I am hiding out in Finland. I have applied for citizenship here under the name Candy Crawford. They are going to love the way I make love in Finland. Everything2! Represent!
It was not murder. It was justified. Look it up in a law library, you dumb fuck.