It rang, it woke me up. I was pissed until I saw the caller ID. Partially because the call was from the mainland, making the timing excusable, and partially because she was her.
I gave her the most cheerful aloha I could muster.
"What time is it there?" she asked.
"2 a.m." I replied. "Only eight there, right?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I'm really glad to hear from you." This was genuine.
"I miss you."
"No, I mean terribly. I mean I wish you were here. With me."
I wanted very much to be with her but had no desire to be where she was.
"You know what happened," I said to her. "You have moments. You'll think different tomorrow."
"No, the last time I said anything I was a kid. I'm dead serious right now."
"You still are a kid. As am I."
" I see so much more in you now. You make so damn much sense to me now. We can make each other happy."
Our mutual friend told me a few months ago she was dating fuckups. I was dissapointed to hear that. He said it was a good thing; they were gonna make me look good eventually.
"I have feelings for you, okay. Much stronger than I've had for anyone else. But for three years now, I've worked very hard to get to where I am. And I love my life now. I cannot afford to go through your indecision again."
"I've decided. I want to be with you."
"I live in Honolulu."
"I know. Are you going to let this go, then? I can't say I blame you."
"It would be completely against my better judgment if I gave this a shot. But you know what? If I don't, my heart will kill me. I'll be seeing you soon."
She said nothing, but I knew she was happy.
"I am at my computer, right now. There is a United leaving in three hours. I'll get that."
"I cannot wait to see you."
"I'll be happy as I've ever been when I see you." Actually, I already was.
"Well," I said, "I'd better get off the phone. You have some packing to do." And I hung up.
She would, maybe, arrive at nine p.m. I would be awake till then, when either closure, or the most beautiful thing in my life, would occur.